[my miltanks bring several existential thoughts to the yard and they’re like, “moooooooo”] asks:

it’s pride month and we’re all stuck inside so i was wondering which place in the pokémon world would throw the baller-est pride parade?

yeah this is how long my question queue typically is these days; don’t ask me anything that’s specific to the time you’re asking it unless you’re okay with a margin of error of, like, a month

But yeah, um… I dunno, what’s the campiest city in the Pokémon world?  Saffron City and Goldenrod City are way too straight and business-y, likewise Wyndon in Galar; Ecruteak City’s probably too conservative; you’d want to get out to, like… Celadon or Olivine.  Mauville City’s glitzy and glamorous; Slateport and Lilycove have robust Pokémon Contest traditions, and you just know all the top competitors in those are queens; same goes for Hearthome City in Sinnoh (also… Fantina).  Sootopolis City and Castelia City have the campiest gym leaders – I mean… you could almost decide this with a lip-sync battle between Burgh and Wallace.  Spikemuth is probably a strong dark horse contender, ‘cause they know what it’s like to be oppressed and even the straights would be allies (less so Po Town in Alola, ‘cause Team Skull are still kinda working through their toxic masculinity baggage; Marnie wouldn’t put up with that $#!t).  Lumiose City has the highest concentration of coffee shops in the known universe, which is a very important resource, as well as the best clothes, makeup, etc.  Hau‘oli City is probably a good bet for similar reasons; it’s modern, it’s trendy, also their Captain is Ilima and just look at him; if that boy’s completely straight then I’m a shiny Wobbuffet.  The biggest regular pride parade in the real world is the São Paulo one, but there’s no Brazilian Pokémon region (yet?) and New York is also really big because of Stonewall, which is a point in favour of Castelia City.

Listen, I think there’s a lot of strong contenders here and honestly I don’t feel confident making a call.  We can turn this over to discussion in the comments; I just think the most important thing is for us not to lose sight of the fact that all the major characters in Pokémon are some flavour of queer, except for a few of the villains and, like, maybe Brock.  I don’t make the rules; I just enforce them.

5 thoughts on “[my miltanks bring several existential thoughts to the yard and they’re like, “moooooooo”] asks:

  1. Sinnoh Pride would probably be started in Jubilife, due to being all hip and modern and trendy. But the parade would run north and settle in Floroma Town in the flower field and turn into the pokeworld’s biggest music festival.

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  2. I wouldn’t dare to make a judgement, there’s just too many amazing places for badass pride in the Pokeworld. Having said which Spikemuth seems like the kind of place that would throw a parade that’s not only kicking in every sense of the world and would have the best live music, but also somewhere that would make provisions for people with disabilities and other requirements that some of the bigger places might not.

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  3. Funny you should mention how Ilima might be on the LGBT spectrum, there’s a video detailing how it’s very possible that was fully intentional and they made a major change to him in order to not insult people, which may have also butchered some theming in the game |D – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmsNmMuajEU

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  4. Bold of you to assume Plumeria would put up with that s#!¥. Po Town is already covered in graffiti in rainbow colors, for hell’s sake.

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