Yeah, I’m going to keep doing this, mostly because it’s fun and it doesn’t take a lot out of me, which is sort of what I need at the moment since I have two weeks to research and write two essays, one on the meaning of imperium in archaic Rome, the other on the only female poet in classical Latin literature, as well as mark a few dozen undergrad Greek history essays. I’m working on an article on the ethics of Pokémon training, but it’s a very tricky and nuanced subject (or at least, it will be once I’m through with it) and I don’t have a whole lot of time for it.
So in the meantime, you get Animorphs aliens converted into Pokémon. Why not?
Taxxons and the Living Hive
The Taxxons are a remarkably unfortunate race. They resemble gigantic burrowing centipedes, and are afflicted with an insatiable hunger that drives most of them to the brink of insanity unless they eat constantly. Taxxons will feast involuntarily on any injured creature nearby, including other Taxxons, and have even been known to start eating themselves. When the Taxxons first encountered the Yeerk Empire, they willingly became slaves of the Yeerks in exchange for the promise of a stable food supply. Most Yeerk parasites are even capable of controlling the Taxxon hunger… some of the time. In the Yeerk Empire, Taxxons are normally technicians, engineers and pilots because of their multiple appendages and excellent reflexes. On their homeworld, they are controlled by a being known as the Living Hive, described as a glowing red mountain of flesh hidden deep underground, which seems to embody the collective intelligence of their race.
I’m going to stat the Living Hive as a Vespiquen-style evolution to the Taxxons: only the females evolve, and only one in every eight are female (that still sounds like an awful lot of Hives, so let’s claim that they evolve at a fairly high level – say 50).
Type: Bug/Ground
Bug for obvious reasons, Ground because they’re burrowers by nature and spend most of their lives in underground colonies.
Ability: Gluttony or Compoundeyes (Dream World) for the Taxxons; Pressure or Unnerve (Dream World) for the Living Hive
The Taxxons’ abilities don’t require much explanation; Pressure and Unnerve for the Living Hive because Vespiquen has them, which seemed like a reasonable precedent and, well, based on its one appearance in the series, being in the presence of the Living Hive is pretty damn unnerving!
Stat Spread: 50 HP, 89 Attack, 40 Defence, 30 Special Attack, 40 Special Defence, 101 Speed (Taxxons)
130 HP, 54 Attack, 78 Defence, 90 Special Attack, 92 Special Defence, 30 Speed (the Living Hive)
Although they’re the same species, theoretically, the Hives are completely different to the Taxxons, and that’s reflected here. Taxxons are better at certain things, but overall the Hive is far more powerful.
Notable Moves: Well, on the one hand, I have to be careful what I give the Taxxons, because any attacks they have will automatically be available to the Living Hive as well. On the other hand, because their attack stats basically flip around, I can at least be guaranteed that if I give the Taxxons attacks like Bug Bite and Dig (for obvious reasons), Earthquake and X-Scissor (just to be nice to them) or Crunch and Slam (for a bit of variety) the Hive will be rubbish at using them anyway. We can probably also get away with giving them some junk like Gastro Acid, Sand Attack, String Shot and Lick – and, of course, Stockpile and Swallow are practically a given (but not Spit Up, because once a Taxxon eats something, it damn well stays eaten).
The Living Hive will also gain access to Bug Buzz, Earth Power and Psychic for nuking stuff, Calm Mind for being better at nuking stuff, and Vespiquen’s Attack Order, Defend Order and Heal Order techniques for bringing its Taxxon horde to bear on the enemy. I want this thing to use a lot of support moves, so Hypnosis, Safeguard, Disable, and maybe Spikes and Toxic Spikes are on the cards too.
Chee
Generally allies of the protagonists, the Chee are a race of pacifistic doglike androids who have been hidden on Earth for thousands of years, quietly helping humanity to advance. They were created by an ancient, now-extinct species called the Pemalites, and subsequently fused the souls of the Pemalites with Earth wolves in order to create domestic dogs (this is the in-universe reason dogs are so friendly and loyal). The Chee have advanced holographic technology that makes them the ultimate spies, and allows them to cover for the kids at home when they go off on extended missions. Physically, they’re also incredibly powerful. However, their programming utterly forbids them from harming living beings – or even, in some cases, from allowing living beings to be harmed. Since the Yeerks are, in fact, living beings, this sometimes limits the amount of help the Chee are able to give.
Type: Steel
Androids. Duh.
Ability: Illusion
To simulate their holographic projections, I’m giving the Chee the Illusion ability used by Zorua and Zoroark – they can take on the appearance (but not the powers) of any Pokémon on their own team. Pretty nifty for confusing people.
Stat Spread: 90 HP, 5 Attack, 138 Defence, 5 Special Attack, 122 Special Defence, 79 Speed
The Chee are the next best thing to indestructible, but they do not hurt things, ever.
Notable Moves: Since they’re pacifists, the only damaging techniques I’m prepared to give the Chee are Counter and Mirror Coat (like Wobuffet, except that they’re missing several of the features that make Wobuffet so good at using those moves). However, they have zillions of support moves. The most important things I want them to have access to are Iron Defense and Protect (self-explanatory), Refresh and Recover (since they can repair themselves), Reflect, Safeguard, Light Screen and Heal Pulse (fits with their flavour), Thunder Wave and Imprison (I can see them disabling enemies to capture them without hurting them), Trick Room, Magic Coat, Magnet Rise and Gravity (they’re super-advanced robot aliens, why the hell not?). To be honest, I’m not totally sure how useful these guys are likely to be, because their only concrete offensive option is Thunder Wave. They’re probably just going to wind up providing openings for opposing Pokémon to buff themselves (still, that does kinda fit with the way the books present them…). I guess I could let them have Encore to keep them from being set-up bait, or maybe Calm Mind and Baton Pass, so at least it’d be dangerous to leave them to their own devices for too long.
Leerans
The Leerans are one of the other races the Yeerks are attempting to conquer during the early part of the series. A froglike aquatic species from a distant world, the Leerans possess formidable psychic powers and can effortlessly read the mind of anyone who comes within a few metres of them. Naturally, if the Yeerks manage to conquer them and Leeran hosts become widely available, everyone is in a lot of trouble.
Type: Water/Psychic
Aquatic aliens with advanced psychic abilities. Next, please!
Ability: Telepathy, Forewarn, or Regenerator (Dream World)
Leerans are telepathic mind-readers who can regenerate lost or damaged limbs and organs. Fairly straightforward, really.
Stat Spread: 102 HP, 65 Attack, 64 Defence, 115 Special Attack, 79 Special Defence, 71 Speed
Leerans are a little slow and clumsy, but they’re tougher than they look and are probably the most highly psychic species in the series.
Notable Moves: Generic Water- and Psychic-type attacks, to start with. Wrap, Tickle, and later Wring Out, for the tentacles. Mind Reader and Detect, because duh, and similarly Miracle Eye, because why the hell not? Recover because it makes sense, and Calm Mind to go with it and make ‘em big and tanky. I’m tempted to give them a bunch of support moves as well, like Confuse Ray, Charm, Encore, Disable, Reflect, and Light Screen, as well as a few more special attacks that are vaguely thematically appropriate, mainly Focus Blast and Ice Beam. Basically I’m aiming for these guys to be bulky special tanks.
Helmacrons
Oh, the Helmacrons… the Helmacrons are a diminutive race of megalomaniacal insectoids. Although their average battlecruiser is the size of a child’s toy, the Helmacrons are determined to conquer the galaxy, remaining convinced that they are its rightful rulers. During their appearances in the series, they manage to adapt the kids’ morphing technology into a shrink ray of some description, to allow them to fight other races on a level footing (for this reason, I’m going to assume when statting them out that the Helmacrons are dealing with opponents of their own size; doing otherwise would be too much of a headache). They are a matriarchal race, with stunted, weak and subservient males and loud, aggressive and utterly insane females (the Animorphs manage to start the Helmacron equivalent to the suffrage movement after their first encounter with them, which leads, naturally, to zany antics). Among their… interesting… customs is their practice of ceremonially killing any Helmacron chosen for a leadership position, on the grounds that a dead leader cannot make any mistakes.
Type: Bug
Y’know, because they’re insects. I considered Bug/Psychic, since they’re telepathic and seem to have some sort of hive mind thing going on, but telepathy isn’t exactly rare in the Animorphs universe and the hive mind is sort of covered by the Bug element anyway, so I’ll just go with Bug to avoid splashing Psychic all over the place too much.
Ability: Fungible
Adam suggested this ability to represent the curious hive mind ability of the Helmacrons; they don’t exactly act as one the way hive mind species typically do in science fiction, but their minds, thoughts, personalities and experiences are uploaded into a sort of collective instantaneously upon death, making it impossible to truly kill a Helmacron. This ability effectively allows Helmacrons to Baton Pass for free upon being knocked out – any and all boosts (and penalties) on a Helmacron are sent along to the next Pokémon you call out in its place. This is easily the most useful thing about them, and is probably a reason to use them on its own.
Stat Spread: 65 HP, 86 Attack, 54 Defense, 61 Special Attack, 54 Special Defence, 90 Speed
Helmacrons are strong and fast, considering their minuscule size, but tend to have something of a kamikaze mentality and attack with little regard for their own safety.
Notable Moves: Bug Bite for those nasty mandibles, and U-Turn so they can have a Bug attack that’s actually useful (no, switching out with U-Turn doesn’t activate their ability; that’d just be asking for trouble). Taunt, Torment, Pursuit, Night Slash and Knock Off because they’re jerks. Assist because it fits in with the whole ‘fungible’ thing, because the world needs more Assist insanity, and because the Helmacrons are just the people to bring it on. Double Edge and Flail for their self-destructive tendencies. It probably won’t hurt to give them some weird stuff like Triple Kick, Superpower, Aerial Ace, and Acrobatics too, just for a bit of variety. Now… let’s give them some nasty boosts to pass with that ability of theirs. Growth and Minimise can represent their shrink ray technology, and Nasty Plot is sort of a given because they’re crazed megalomaniacs. Agility seems like a good fit too, since they’re an extremely frenetic bunch. Basically, their job is to go in, hit things, cause frustration, hopefully find a moment to boost up, and then die, sending those buffs to something less dumb in the process.
Well, that’s it for me – for now, anyway. Maybe I should post a small extract from my dissertation, just to prove that I am actually doing legit work during this blog’s hiatus… then again, it’d be pretty dull stuff to anyone without a specific interest in what I’m studying, so maybe not.
Pokémaniacal 