Pokémon Origins: Episode 1

Professor Oak introduces us to the mysterious creatures of his world.

For those not familiar with it, Pokémon Origins is what might be called a ‘reboot’ of the Pokémon anime.  Released late last year, it is a four-episode miniseries which follows the adventures of Red – the protagonist of the original Pokémon games – and is closely based on the events of Red Version, Blue Version, and their third-generation remakes, Fire Red and Leaf Green (the visuals mainly taking their cues from the latter pair of games).  This stuff is pure nostalgia fuel, for people who were introduced to Pokémon by Fire Red and Leaf Green, for those of us who are old enough to have clear memories of when Red and Blue were first released, and, hell, probably for Game Freak and the animators too.  Each episode opens with the CONTINUE/NEW GAME/OPTIONS screen and ends with the SAVE screen from the original games, the first episode begins with Professor Oak’s “introduction to the world of Pokémon,” followed by the battle between Nidorino and Gengar familiar from the opening cinematic (on Red’s TV), and even the dialogue often quotes directly from the games.  This last point, if you ask me, may have been pushing it a bit far, since the English translations of Red and Blue didn’t exactly have the best-written dialogue in video game history – the quotes stand out for being, frankly, a little wooden.  Enough of the general style, though; let’s talk about the plot.

Continue reading “Pokémon Origins: Episode 1” →

Any thoughts on the Pokemon Plus and Minus rumors that made the rounds recently? I personally feel a bit ambivalent, especially since it comes so soon after X and Y, but at least the design ideas seem fairly interesting…

Are you asking whether I believe them?  Because at present I see absolutely no reason to, and given that, I see little point in analysing any of it either.  "This one site says this one guy told them,” whoever they claim this one guy is, holds little interest for me.  Obviously it could all be true; I don’t know.  I’ll be waiting for something a touch more official before I pay any attention whatsoever, though.

With the reveal of the first X and Y event pokemon, Diancie, in a recent Coro Coro issue, I thought I’d touch upon a theory of mine. Diancie is a rock/fairy type, a type that is only shared by carbink. Interestingly, they both seem to have a gem motiff. I heard Diancie’s leaked pokedex entry state that it compresses carbon in the air into crystal structures seemingly creating gems out of thin air. Now, wouldn’t it be interesting if Diancie was the mother of all Carbink?

Well, I’m normally lukewarm at best about this kind of speculation, but I do remember thinking when I first saw Carbink that it must  evolve, because it didn’t ‘look’ finished, and being rather surprised when it didn’t… so I don’t know.  I don’t think there’d be any precedent for a relationship like that between a common and a legendary Pokémon, but that doesn’t mean Diancie couldn’t be the first.  Maybe?

How broken would you think Shedinja would be if it had Sturdy instead of Wonder Guard?

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say “not.”

Shedinja is weird, and there are a lot of Pokémon (or, at the very least, a lot of movesets) that will auto-lose to it, one-on-one.  On the other hand, anything that can harm Shedinja, at all, is game over.  It’s very all-or-nothing, and since it doesn’t look like Stealth Rock is going to stop being a thing any time soon, the burden is normally going to be on Shedinja’s trainer to keep things from tipping over to “nothing.”  The fact that Shedinja can be insta-killed by five different attack types certainly hurts it, but the fact that it can also be insta-killed by burns, poison, entry hazards, weather damage, Leech Seed, Rough Skin recoil, a variety of Tricked items, and anything with Mold Breaker is at least as big a problem (and none of those things are really unusual).  Ultimately, almost any Pokémon in the game can learn Toxic – and let’s not forget that Shedinja isn’t actually a top-tier offensive threat in its own right, either (it’s all but certain that, even with direct damage immunity, the vast majority of teams would have something to kill a Shedinja, so it can’t just rely on its invulnerability to wear everything down – it has limited time in play with which to contribute to the team, and Shedinja’s movepool isn’t great).  Don’t get me wrong, Shedinja would be a lot more powerful if it just had flat-out immunity to direct damage, but without having a playtest for it, I still think we’d be looking at “interesting” rather than “broken.”

I absolutely loved your epilogue, it’s actually too bad this cannot continue but if Z is a sequel, could u perhaps…if it’s not too much…tie in this into the next write up? It feels like a story haha.

Well, bear in mind that I have no idea what’s going to happen in Z (or whatever other fake-out they might throw at us)… bear in mind also that even the way I’ve been reading the events of X for the purposes of my epilogue is a little bit contentious – Lysandre’s dialogue on Y doesn’t bring up the possibility of using the Ultimate Weapon to become immortal, so I strongly doubt that’s ‘canon.’  He could easily be dead, and it may well be logically impossible (even if I do a write-up of Z in the same way, which I may not).  That’s also not really the point of what I was doing there.  It’s an epilogue; it comes at the end.  What happens after that is up to the reader now.

So you’ve talked about how some pokemon are defined by being near identical to real world animals, like how Krabby and Kingler are crabs that do crab things, and generally speaking, pokemon that are just trying to be real animals aren’t all that interesting. Do you think Girafarig falls into this category at all?

Well, not really – I mean, Girafarig’s ‘thing’ is the independent head on its tail.  Giraffes (and vertebrates in general) don’t really work like that.  It’s almost more of a pushmi-pullyu sort of thing, which you can see more clearly in the original concept art from the beta of Gold and Silver.

I kinda wish they had made more of that in the anime; from memory the Girafarig feature episode basically portrayed it as a generic Psychic-type, which is a little sad, really.   A lot more could be made of the contrast between the more cerebral Psychic-type end and the rather bestial Normal-type end.

Come to think of it, Girafarig would be a really good candidate for Mega Evolution – tail becomes a great big chomping head, turns to Psychic/Dark, gains powerful physical attacks… maybe some sort of custom ability too.  Not sure exactly what, though.

Let’s talk about angry comments!

So, about five months ago, someone apparently wrote a very angry and disjointed rant in the comments section of one of my old entries (this one, about Plusle, Minun and Pachirisu) which I never actually noticed at the time.  I’m not sure what exactly I was busy with five months ago that would have occupied my attention to such a degree, but I tend not to prioritise responding to comments on entries that are almost two years old.  I doubt this person ever returned to check for a reply anyway, so it’s no great loss.  Also, I honestly think it wasn’t really directed at me (it says, at the beginning, “I wrote this rant a while ago,” but that would imply that this was something the writer had actually put thought into, which is perhaps even worse), and strongly doubt the author actually read the whole entry.  I wrote a reply for posterity’s sake, and that would be that, except that Jim the Editor found the original comment so hilarious he convinced me to post it here and rebut it in detail – which, come to think of it, is a good opportunity to reflect upon what I value in Pokémon designs and why, in preparation for when I have to discuss all of the X and Y generation.  So, here we go…

“Hater…

I wrote this rant a while ago, I’ll just post it here… :<

I’ll start out by saying that Plusle and Minun are both equally my favorite pokemon! :la: I do love them both for their reasons, though. I’ve seen and heard a lot of people say really bad things about these two, calling them pikachu look-alikes. That’s the first topic I’ll cover.

Face the facts, there will be some sort of electric rodent every generation, and just because Pikachu was the first doesn’t mean every other is copying it.If you dismiss pokemon like that, you’d be being awfully close-minded… :< The electric rodents in these generations look like the rodents they’re based off of, not Pikachu. Pokemon like Pachirisu, Emolga, Pichu and Plusle and Minun is what they call that. Yes, electric rodents have cheek patches that store electricity, it’s not trying to capture that pikachu feel all over again. That’s just how electric rodents work! Plusle and Minun don’t even look all that much like Pikachu, and if you think all of these electric rodents do then you’re sticking with the ‘if it has long ears and cheek patches it’s a pikachu twin’ thing. Honestly, Plusle and Minun, like every other electric rodent besides emolga, have that. Their bodes have different structure than Pikachu! They’re alot more rounded! In fact, they look way more like bunnies than mice!

[img]http://www.smbhq.com/users/sss/pics/biopramai.png[/img][center][img]http://rlv.zcache.com/kawaii_bunny_and_carrot_photo_plaques-rf5cf1150a583452f884f74d717a81622_ar56b_8byvr_512.jpg[/img][img]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KZAhZS5QB_A/UFpH9xPmaII/AAAAAAAAH6Y/U2ziNn5WRCo/s320/28ltaxg.jpg.png[/img][img]http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/039/6/a/dd_bunny__kawaii__by_amis0129-d5uaqun.png[/img]

[This person evidently didn’t realise that Disqus comments can’t deal with html tags, and never bothered to check after posting.  Either that or they are stylistic and supposed to add to the amateurish impression of the piece.]

If they were standing up it would be the exact same anatomy! Also, that’s more of why you shouldn’t dismiss them so quickly as lame or useless pokemon and not why I like them so much. These pokemon are what I like to call sister pokemon, that’s what makes them so special! These two were literally made for each other, and still 2 completely different pokemon! I just can’t get over that fact. I love them so much. There is probably only one more pair of pokemon in existence like that(That I don’t know the name of). That’s something very special! Yet there are haters that cling to the fact that they are electric rodents, and try to think that they’re trying to be new pikachus. It’s plus and minus, more like a pikachu town in half into two amazing twinsies! The red and blue scheme they have is even more amazing. I’ve never seen that! These two are opposites whom attract, just like twins. But less on personalities, let’s talk about their design… Red and blue are opposite colors so it goes perfectly, but again, that’s not why I love them the way I do. It’s the whole theme of interspecies teamwork that really makes me love these pokemon. The fact that they work together endlessly in the anime, that they depend on one another and remain loyal and helpful to each other that is natural for them as a species… In the anime, they were depicted this way, and in the games too! I have never seen that theme anywhere, of interspecies teamwork and just the two red and blue pokemon being meant for each other. No other pokemon are like that in all honesty, besides maybe a few that aren’t made so closely the way they are. That whole theme of friendship is just beautiful! These two are insanely adorable too!

I think now I’ll talk about how I feel about the other rodents so you don’t make any assumptions. Even though they don’t have as much of a deep and very special meaning like plusle and minun do, I still love pokemon like that. Marill looks nothing at all like pikachu except the cheek patches.[img]http://imageshack.us/a/img255/4790/pikablu.png[/img]

WAIT, NEVERMIND!

[img]http://lh4.ggpht.com/-WqUhzv1JbLE/TTSNeSZuNCI/AAAAAAAAAOo/Yd_UG0T6IbA/MINI-troll-face.png[/img] The fact that people even ever thought that proves that this pokemon fandom is prone to judging a pokemon so insanely easily. I also love pichu. Pichu basically is pikachu, stop complaining! Pichu is Pikachu’s unevolved form guys. It’s like complaining that Plusle and Minun looking alike just means one of them shouldn’t exist. [b]NO!![/b]

 

As you’d guess, because I admire these twinsies for what I do, I really don’t like when people try and combine them two into a single pokemon like Minusle. I hate that!! And when they try to add more like Equalla. [img]http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/278/7/a/fake_plusle_minun_additions_by_avenraichuxx0-d4bxktf.png[/img]

[b][i][size=150]^HATE SO MUCH!![/size][/i][/color][/b] That completely removes what I love about them so much, and what separates the pair from any other pokemon out there. It’s proving the bad things they say about these two true… ;u; I suppose they may be weak pokemon, but base stats don’t define pokemon. They define how they do in battle, but not the pokemon. It’s like saying a rather weaker physically compact person is less than someone who’s buff and capable. That’s why I still like pokemon like magikarp and unown. People hate these pokemon for not having strong abilities and basically being useless in battle and games, but that doesn’t make them less or worthless pokemon. They’re still creatures, or at least I think of pokemon like creatures and animals and less like a game mechanic or an object like people who say that do. The ‘less’ pokemon unown has very, very poweful roles in the anime. In one of the first movies they could control time and space… Plusle and Minun also have been in many episodes! Don’t dismiss the two pokemon as nothing but additions to show off the double battle feature, either. Don’t be so close minded!! In the anime they had several episodes that revolved all around them. If you’d dismiss a pokemon with this kind of special theme as just being a novelty pokemon, then that proves again how quick the pokemon fandom can be in shoving pokemon! (In a general sense, not saying that everyone part of the fandom is like that..)

But anyways, that’s why I think plusle and minun are more than just weak when separated. I love them both, even when separated, but perfer them together, not because they’re stronger, but because they’re a [b][i]team[/i][/b].

I’m not finished yet, far from it in fact, so I’ll be adding more about everything I love about plusle and minun later! There’s alot!

Again, this is more for a rant, and just me jotting down why I care about them alot, but feel free to say something in return if you think they shouldn’t be loved… ;w;

Honestly, I love these two like the world…

[Here the author pauses for breath before posting a second comment.  In spite of the earlier assertion that “there’s alot”  more to add, the second comment is far shorter and contains few new points.]

Also, if you’ve watched any of the many anime shows they actually have been in they fight. ALOT. Really good. With trainer help. .-. Try to know more about pokemon besides their pokedex entries before bashing them around like that, especially plusle and minun…

I’ll also say that pokemon are animals. They’re monsters to us, but they’re basically the animals of their world. There are rodents that are alike… Rats and mice don’t copy off of each other… x3 Just like no pokemon copies off of one another. They’re based off real animals… That should make it clear enough?

You… You just hate everything don’t you? xD If it’s a cute cutie pokemon, you hate it. I’m sorry you think like that. It’s really sad. Maybe you shouldn’t be so angry at so many of the pokemon. It really doesn’t make anyone feel better when you’re mad. And yeah, hate comes from anger, so you’re mad.

Also, if you’re trying to argue these are bad then you’re doing an awful job because I’m no where near convinced. :3 These are all just opinions, and if you’re bash your opinions around like this you should keep them to yourself. These are sweeties that people love and there’s nothing you can do about it! -w-“

———————————————

Probably the most entertaining part of all this is how long it takes before the author suddenly realises that I am, in fact, a monster who cannot be reasoned with.  Everything in that paragraph is, of course, completely true.  I instantly despise all cute Pokémon the moment I lay eyes on them and cannot bear the thought of anyone taking pleasure in anything so sickening.  This is a serious problem for me in my day-to-day life because, as we know from the words of Jedi Grand Master Yoda, anger leads to hate.  I am consumed by boiling rage every minute of every day, which often leads me to lash out against innocent bystanders with whatever brutal improvised weapons I can seize.  My friends will attest that this has placed serious strain on my personal relationships, excepting of course those with other sociopaths.  Luckily, this comment’s insight has caused me to have an epiphany, and I am finally seeking the psychological help I so badly need to become a functioning memb-

BAHAHAHAHA sorry; I just couldn’t get through that part with a straight face.  Why would I try to be a less hateful person when I can just drag everyone else down with me into my bleak, horrible pit of loathing and despair and feed on their tears for the rest of time?

Anyway.

I think the only thing I really, genuinely find offensive about these comments is the seemingly innocuous assertion, near the beginning, that I am dismissing Plusle and Minun.  It seems to me that I actually spent a good deal more time thinking and talking about Plusle and Minun for the sake of that article than their valiant defender here did, and offered a number of suggestions for fixing what I, if no-one else, perceived to be problems with them, in spite of my own conviction of their illegitimacy.  This is, and I must be blunt here, unequivocally not dismissal.  I know what dismissal looks like; it’s what this comment is trying to do to me.  However, there are in fact two important and worthwhile points in here, even disguised as they are by the author’s questionable spelling, punctuation, sentence structure, vocabulary and logic.  While obviously I disagree with these, I think they represent legitimate concerns about the sort of thing I do when I review Pokémon, and so I would like to draw them out to a more readily comprehensible form and respond to them.

The first, in essence, is an argument that having more electric rodents every generation is not bad.  Part of what the writer is saying here seems to be drawn from a delusion that electric rodents are a real-world phenomenon, as expressed here: “Yes, electric rodents have cheek patches that store electricity, it’s not trying to capture that pikachu feel all over again. That’s just how electric rodents work!”  The fact that “electric rodent” is even a recognisable trope in Pokémon design at all is due to Pikachu’s success; I don’t think there’s any point trying to deny it, nor do I see any merit in pointing out that Pikachu is a mouse while Plusle and Minun are rabbits when (and I did make a similar point in the original article) Pikachu himself looks as much like a rabbit as a mouse anyway.  As I said, though, there is a legitimate point here: the suggestion that having multiple very similar Pokémon is not a bad thing.  I believe that it’s lazy and shows an inability to prioritise, but it can be said, fairly, that the real world works like this too – there are many different kinds of mice, and many different kinds of rabbits, and many different kinds of squirrels, and so on and so forth for any other animal you care to name.  The electric rodents possess a unique ability to draw my vitriol because they are unsatisfied with simply being based on similar animals and must also have the same elemental powers, the same distinguishing design feature (the cheek pouches), the same general battle strengths, and even similar colour schemes (with the notable exception of Pachirisu).  That, quite simply, is recycling an idea because it worked so well the first time.  It is, in fact, entirely possible to do Pokémon based on the same animal in very different ways.  Take, for instance, Blastoise and Torterra: both tortoises, one a Water-type with literal cannons on his back, the other a Grass-type who draws on the mythological ‘world tortoise’ motif.  Try Politoed and Toxicroak: both frogs, one an indolent Water-type with sonic powers related to a frog’s croaking, the other a Fighting-type with poisonous skin like an Amazonian poison arrow frog.  Or perhaps Tentacruel and Jellicent?  Both jellyfish, both dangerous Water-types, one a vicious marauder, the other a cold, enigmatic stealer of souls.  Hopefully I may be excused for thinking that “that’s just how electric rodents work” is an extraordinarily uninspired line of thinking.

Electric rodents are hardly the only class I complain about, though – I also like to bitch about the Normal-type rodents, the generic birds, and really anything else that I see as derivative of an earlier design.  I’ll have more to say on this when I talk about Diggersby and Talonflame, but my general stance is this: why, when you already have multiple Pokémon which are based on small, common birds and have wind powers, would you add another Pokémon which is based on a small, common bird and has wind powers when you could instead add, say, a Pokémon based on a cassowary that has earth powers, or a Pokémon based on a hummingbird that has electric powers, or a Pokémon based on a quetzal that has plant powers, or any other permutation of the many very different and quirky kinds of bird out there that Pokémon has never covered?  The world has lots of animals that are similar, sure, but it also has lots of animals that are completely different, and one of Pokémon’s great strengths is in its capacity to capture that variety.  But hey, why spend time and effort playing to that strength when you can just rehash the same idea every generation?

Before we get to the author’s second worthwhile point, I need to talk about some of the nonsense in here first, as well as some things that (apparently unbeknownst to this person who, again, probably did not read the original article) I actually agree with.  The suggestion that Plusle and Minun have an interesting design focus in the theme of teamwork and co-operation, for instance, is entirely fair (most of my ideas for potential evolutions of Plusle and Minun are based heavily on this idea).  The comment that “I have never seen that theme anywhere, of interspecies teamwork” on the other hand, is astonishingly oblivious because interspecies teamwork is a central theme of the entire Pokémon franchise.  Furthermore, Plusle and Minun aren’t even a very good example of it, as it’s sort of questionable whether we are meant to understand them as being different species – personally, I wouldn’t, but then Pokémon has always been extremely hazy on what constitutes a “species” (I’m pretty sure in Pokémon a juvenile and an adult are considered different species, which is a little weird) so I suppose that one can slip by.  There also seems to be a very insistent belief in there that Plusle and Minun are unique in being ‘paired’ Pokémon designed to complement each other – in that respect they are, of course, not even unique within their own generation (Volbeat and Illumise, anyone?).  The similarly oblivious “the red and blue scheme they have is even more amazing. I’ve never seen that!” is even more bizarre, since red and blue are extremely common colours for ‘opposite’ characters, as we can in fact see in Throh and Sawk, and are even standard colours in science textbooks for illustrating the poles of magnets, which is precisely why they appear in Plusle and Minun’s colour scheme.  The irritation at people who try to add extra members to the Plusle/Minun family, like Dividi, Multiko and Equala, I can get behind (although notice I say “irritation,” and not “[b][i][size=150]^HATE SO MUCH!![/size][/i][/color][/b]” – after all, no internet argument is complete without a dash of hypocrisy), because it misinterprets the + and – signs in their designs as mathematical operators when they in fact represent electric charge (appropriately, for Electric-types) – although I wonder whether similar spleen would be justified against, say, Neutri here, who is based on charge neutrality.

The other really interesting idea in here (there are two lines of argument, but I think they’re closely related), is that being weak doesn’t make a Pokémon bad, and that you can see in the anime how powerful Plusle and Minun really are.  Fair enough.  I agree completely.  That doesn’t excuse the fact that they’re terrible in the games.  Another central theme of Pokémon is that all Pokémon can be powerful, in their own way, if trained with love and care.  The fact that this isn’t actually true is a failure of the way the games work, not of the individual Pokémon themselves.  The set of weaknesses, resistances, attacks, abilities and stats a Pokémon has are an expression of what that Pokémon is about (something I want to talk about in more detail in another upcoming article), just like its art, its Pokédex entries, and its anime characterisation.  If a Pokémon like Bibarel were actually, say, a Ninjask-fast special attacker with electrical powers and access to Hi-Jump Kick, that would be a failure of the game mechanics to express what Bibarel is about (even if the result were actually very powerful!).  To take a real example, when Darmanitan is given an ability which expresses the unique nature of the powers described by his design but is ultimately inferior to his more standard options and actually detrimental in the vast majority of cases, that is a failure of the game mechanics to express what Darmanitan is about.  When a Pokémon like Plusle or Minun has appalling stats, a unique but incredibly situational ability and a narrow movepool, to the extent that it can’t actually do anything useful, that too is a failure of the game mechanics to express what Plusle and Minun are about – more specifically, they’re about teamwork, particularly in double battles, but there are dozens of Pokémon who do teamwork better in both double and single battle contexts (Pokémon with weather-influencing abilities, for example).  This is the whole reason I spent a chunk of every “Top Ten Worst Pokémon Ever” entry trying to come up with ways to make them mechanically better while still expressing what those Pokémon were supposed to be good at.  It’s not their fault they’re bad (they’re fictional beings who had no hand in their own creation); it’s the game’s fault – but where we locate the blame doesn’t stop it from being true, or from being a problem.

Was this strange individual just trying to troll me?  Perhaps.  I don’t think so; the flaws in the argumentation seem too bizarre, too random, too haphazard to be intentional and stylistic.  However, the internet has produced some trolls of remarkable proficiency in its lifespan, and at the highest levels of skill there is no sure way to tell.  Does it really matter though?  I feel like I got a lot out of it.  I had an odd but invigorating opportunity to talk about design philosophy and why I judge certain Pokémon the way I do, which is kind of important given the next big project looming on my horizons – and I feel pretty good about that.

I don’t feed the trolls.  The trolls feed me.

Epilogue: Empire Arisen

“Mmm… make the backrest reach a little higher on the left hand side.  And have a little bit of greenery growing from the right armrest.  Don’t forget to keep the seat nice and smooth!”  Xerneas and Ilex the Venusaur roll their eyes, continuing to fine-tune the wooden throne they are magically growing for me.  ‘The Elite Four all have thrones,’ had been my reasoning; ‘how would it look if I didn’t get one?’  All right; I will concede, in hindsight, that the gigantic living oak growing up through the heart of the cathedral of the Elite Four was a slight extravagance, but one has to look the part.  Nothing says ‘strong on environmental issues’ like a giant magic tree overflowing with the essence of Life itself, and nothing says ‘crazed despot’ like an outlandish throne.

Come to think of it, maybe I was sending some mixed signals there.

“See if you can get some fungus growing on there.  Maybe a little bit of mistletoe as well.  And some deadly nightshade.”  Ilex gives a low bellow in response.  “I know it’s not an epiphyte!  Just give it a shot, okay?”  A long, slow rumbling noise.  It’s understandable, really.  They’ve been nothing but patient and indulgent, but they think I’m ridiculous for spending so much time on these trappings – for their own ‘thrones’ on either side of mine, they chose cushions of soft, green moss.  As I muse on this, there is a loud thunk from below as the elevator to my chamber starts to rise.  I give an excited whoop and gesture rapidly to Xerneas and Ilex.  “That’ll be our guest!  Positions!  Positions, quickly!”  They move to settle down in their places on either side of my throne, as I leap into it and twist around into my prepared lounging pose, one foot on the floor, the other dangling over an armrest, one arm propping up my lazily cocked head, my other hand idly playing with my Digivice.  I immediately regret that I haven’t had time to practice the pose in the latest iteration of my throne – there’s an awkward knobbly bit of wood jutting into the small of my back.  We’ll have to work on that.  No time now, though.  The elevator platform has arrived, slotting into its place in the centre of the chamber with a neat clunk.  On the platform is a slouched, dishevelled man with a sack over his head and his hands cuffed behind his back, flanked by two ill-tempered Gurdurr.  I make a little waving motion with one hand, and the man is frog-marched off the platform by the Gurdurr, who delicately snap his handcuffs, then return to the elevator and descend.  All is silent for a moment.

“Diantha?  Diantha, is that you?  Why am I here?”  I grin and shoot a glance at Ilex, who reaches out with a Vine Whip to snatch the sack from the man’s head, revealing a shock of bright red hair.  Lysandre looks around wildly for a few seconds before his eyes alight on my throne.  “You!?”

“Mmm… me,” I answer indolently.  I turn my eyes back to my Digivice, continuing to twirl it in my fingers.  “You know, Sandy – may I call you Sandy?  No?  Well, I’m going to.  You know, Sandy, you weren’t at all easy to find.  For the longest time I was sure you’d died in Geosenge Town, when your headquarters collapsed… but you’re not that easily killed, are you?  Not anymore.”  I slip my Digivice back onto my wrist and snap my fingers.  In response, a sleek wooden dart flies from one of my armrests with a muted swish and sticks in Lysandre’s chest (okay, I know the poison darts will seem like overkill, but in my defence I was really bored).  He cries out in pain and staggers, almost falling backwards into the elevator well (I really should put in some railings…) before he rights himself, plucks the dart from his chest and tosses it aside.  I turn to watch him, and count to ten silently as he struggles to draw himself up to his full height, still breathing heavily.  I reach ten, and give an impressed whistle.  “Concentrated Stun Spore essence of a shiny elder Vileplume from the jungles of eastern Hoenn.  That, Sandy, is one of the more potent neurotoxins known to man or ‘mon.”

“You could have killed me,” he growls, his face darkening.

“No, I couldn’t.  I think we both know that.”  I smile at him.  “So, how does it feel?  The – how did you put it? – the pain of endlessly waiting for a beautiful world to finally be built?”  Lysandre doesn’t answer – just scowls at me, his eyes stormy.  “Well, I suppose it takes a few decades to really feel the difference.  It’s the second century that’s the hardest, you know.  Or so I imagine, anyway.  When it really hits you that everyone you ever loved is dead.  Say, did the ultimate weapon affect your Pokémon, inside their Pokéballs?  That sweet Gyarados of yours?  I wonder whether-”

“ENOUGH!” he roars.  I blink, startled.  “I may have failed in my duty, I may be broken, alone and lost, and I may be condemned, for my failure, to untold lifetimes of misery in a world that can only decay, fester and die, but I will NOT stand here and be belittled by you!  Tell me why I am here and be done with it!”

“…well, there’s no need to be like that,” I murmur.  “I was just making conversation.”  I shrug and hop out of my throne.  “All right, then.  First things first – Lysandre.  You are here because I want to offer you a job.”  I give him a winning smile and hold out both of my hands, palms turned up.

“And what makes you think I would work for you, ‘emperor’?” he sneers.  “You know how I feel about my royal ancestors.  You sit in this grand hall thanks only to the borrowed power of your Pokémon, your underlings, your tools.  Deep inside you are as weak and vile as Kalos’ monarchs ever were.  You are happy to take and take and take from the dwindling life of Kalos, but what will you give back?”  I shrug.

“Stability?” I suggest.  “Direction?  Efficiency?”  I begin counting on my fingers.  “Justice.  Enlightenment.  Pokémon rights – they’re not my ‘underlings,’ you know; Xerneas and I are in total accord on every matter – where was I?  Science.  Education.  Environmentalism.  Aqueducts.” Lysandre suddenly looks bewildered.

“Aqueducts?”

“Everyone needs aqueducts.  The point is, Lysandre, I may want to make sure I’m at the top of the heap, but that’s only because- well, mostly because… well, okay, partly because I’m simply the best person for the job.”  I raise my arms, gesturing to the walls around me, now thick with ivy.  “I’m Kalos’ Champion.  I saved this region from… well, from you!”  I walk back towards Xerneas, still standing by my throne, and place my hand tenderly on the back of his neck.  “I am partnered to Xerneas, the guardian and protector of all life!  Together we can make this region greater still!  Conquer all who oppose us, and build a new Kalosian Empire that will be the envy of the world!  Bring life from lifelessness!  And all I ask in return is the obedience and adoration of every man, woman and child in this land, a flat 80% tax rate, monuments to our greatness in every city, a magnificent palace – which as it happens, we now have – servants to cater to our every whim…”

“How generous of you,” Lysandre remarks drily.

“I know, right?”  I leave Xerneas’ side and approach Lysandre again.  “But politics aside, you asked why you would ever work for me.  It’s simple.  I can offer you what you want most.”

“And you think you know what I want most?  What is that?”  I lean in close, for a conspiratorial whisper.

“Redemption.”  He stiffens slightly.  “That is what all you oh-so-tragic anti-hero types want, isn’t it?  The chance to prove to the world that your heart was in the right place all along?  To reclaim your memory from the annals of history’s villains?  Perhaps – oh, the tragedy – to end your life in a valiant act of self-sacrifice (assuming, of course, your life can still end)?  Tell me I’m wrong.”  He wants to; I can see in his eyes the urge to throw my words back in my face… but he’s curious.  He speaks, carefully and deliberately.

“Tell me what you propose.”  I clap gleefully.

“I just knew I could win you over!”  I dash to collect a sheaf of papers from behind my throne.  “Now, as de facto head of the Kalos League I am not without a wide range of human and Pokémon agents to take care of all the mundane preliminaries of establishing my dominion over this region, but there are a variety of special tasks which I cannot trust to just anyone; I need someone who is an accomplished engineer, a skilled and charismatic Pokémon trainer, a scholar of Kalosian history, an adept of Mega Evolution, a-”

“Get to the point,” Lysandre interrupts, scowling again.  I rein in my excitement.

“All right, then.  I will.  As it happens you can complete your first task right now: to provide me with some information.  Where is the other?”  His scowl deepens.

“The other what?”

“Don’t play dumb.  The other legendary Pokémon.  Yveltal.  Where is it?”  He shakes his head.  “You must know, or at least have some suspicions.”

“I do not, nor would I tell you if I did.  It is bad enough that Xerneas has chosen to follow you.  What you would be capable of with Yveltal at your side, what you would be able to take from the people of Kalos then-”

“At my side!?  No, no no no no.   I have no intention of working with that… thing.”  Xerneas make a flat, disapproving whine.  I look Lysandre straight in the eyes.  “I want to kill it.”  He stares back, warily.

“To what purpose?  Yveltal never truly dies.  It drains the life of everything around it, unleashes Death to sustain itself so it can return to plague Kalos centuries later.”  I click my tongue.

“I never said it would be easy.  Obviously anyone wanting to kill that abomination permanently would have to find some way of circumventing its ability to steal life.  To tell you the truth, I have no idea how you’re going to do it.”

“I-?!”  Lysandre’s mouth hangs open, and Ilex laughs at his astonishment, a low booming sound that echoes around the chamber.

“Well, obviously.  You’re the perfect choice.  Fail, and maybe Yveltal will actually be able to kill you.  I can’t think of anything else that would do it at this point.  Succeed… well, just think of it.  Yveltal, the shadow of Death, banished from Kalos at last, never again to haunt the world of humans and Pokémon.  You’ll be a hero.  You’ll be redeemed.”  He frowns, furrowing his brow.

“With Yveltal gone from the world, beauty and goodness might live longer.  We might all have more time.”  Xerneas gives a trumpeting cry of agreement.  I smile.

“It’s worth a shot, right?”

“And if I were the one to do it… perhaps I could convince people… perhaps this time I could make them change their ways…”  I wave my hand.

“Yes, yes, whatever you want; we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.  There are some other tasks I need you to perform first, though.”  Lysandre narrows his eyes suspiciously.  “Don’t worry; it’s all important work.  Everything you do for me will lead up to our ultimate goal.  If you don’t know where Yveltal is, you’re going to need to find it for me first, obviously.  I don’t know where or how you found Xerneas, but I would start there.  You’re also going to need these.”  I hand him the sheaf of documents.  He gives me a quizzical look, then begins flipping through them.  A few moments later, he looks back up at me in surprise.

“These are Xerosic’s notes.”

“Mmm.  Perhaps you’ll have better luck reading them than I did.  I don’t have the technical skill to fill in the parts he doesn’t fully explain… and I’m not familiar enough with how he thinks.  I know you’re an inventor of some ability; you reverse-engineered a Digivice, for goodness’ sake.”  He looks up in confusion.

“Digi-?”

“Oh- uh, a Mega Ring, that is.  The point is, you clearly know what you’re doing, and you’ve worked with Xerosic yourself.”  Lysandre skims a few pages.

“I don’t recognise these plans.  He kept this work secret from me?”  I roll my eyes.

“Oh, probably.  He’s like that.  Look, can you understand the technology or not?”  Lysandre is silent for a while.  He continues to read, and examines a number of diagrams.

“I believe I can, yes.  Given time.”  I grin at him and applaud.

“Excellent!  Now, I’m going to need you to build one of those for each of us – ah, by the way, there should be designs in there for a transmitter unit, but mine won’t need that; it’s just so I can keep in contact with you in the field in case of emergency.  Incidentally, there’s a place in my Elite Four open, if you could use something to do with your down time – oh, this is so exciting!  I dance over to one of the windows.  I have kept Diantha’s Pokéball-patterned stained glass, but had the panes remounted with hinges, so they can swing open.  I start fiddling with the catches.  Ilex rumbles gently and gets up to help me, reaching for the higher ones with Vine Whips.

“I have not agreed to do anything,” Lysandre reminds me.

“Oh, but you will, you will!  So much is already underway!  Just come and see!”  I release the last catch and, with a great shove, swing the window wide.  Lysandre cautiously approaches to look out over the scene below with me.

On the slopes of the mountain below us, scores of Timburr and Gurdurr waddle back and forth, merrily singing out-of-tune as they shuttle bricks, mortar, beams and nails from place to place at the direction of Conkeldurr foremen.  Pan the Chesnaught lumbers around the site, alternating between barking orders and helping to shift blocks of stone.  Ruined walls and towers rise, slowly but surely, to their former heights.  Orion the Lucario and Pytho the Goodra stand nearby, negotiating with a group of wild Graveler to have them join the construction team.  Squadrons of Poliwhirl wade through the rivers, putting together water wheels to snatch the energy of the waterfalls as Odysseus the Clawitzer deftly slices planks of wood with his claw.  Druddigon tunnel into the side of the mountain, expanding and clearing out some stretches of the cave network while closing off others, or jealously claiming choice spots for their own lairs.  A dozen Hydreigon wheel through the sky in perfect formation, firing blasts of light at hovering targets with roars of triumph.  Everywhere, Grass Pokémon of every sort bask in the sunlight and coax plants from the earth, weaving thick walls of thorns and canopies of vines around hidden walkways, building huge berry orchards, and tenderly nurturing huge bulbs packed with toxic spores.  Lysandre surveys all of this, and turns to me.

“The Elite Four, you say?”  I grin, and clap him on the shoulder.

“Sandy, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”