Author: pokemaniacchris

White 2 Playthrough Journal, episode 22: Naval warfare

With only a bare handful of grunts on deck, my Pokémon and I manage to force our way onto the Team Plasma frigate without much trouble.  Jim and Hugh arrive just as my Ampharos is tossing the minions overboard.  Together, the three of us march into the ship’s forecastle, our Pokémon swarming around us.  Tragically, our dramatic entrance is stymied by a Team Plasma security device: a crackling blue force field.

Oh, okay, I remember how to handle these things; we have to find the ‘off’ switches in the rubbish bins, and- wait, there are no rubbish bins.  Damnit; what kind of power-crazed madman designed this place!?

Inspection reveals that the force field is controlled by a keypad.  We need to input the correct passphrase if we want to get inside and confront Team Plasma’s leaders.  I momentarily regret ordering Sansa to throw the first batch of grunts off the ship without first torturing them for information.  I instruct Hugh to guard the force field while Jim and I find someone to interrogate, but Hugh is having none of that.  He still has rage to unleash today.  He tears off towards the rear of the ship, looking for a way down below the deck.  I follow him, glancing back at Jim with a helpless shrug.  I catch up with Hugh as he barrels down the stairs only two steps behind his Emboar, who lands with a sickening crunch on top of an unfortunate Team Plasma grunt waiting at the bottom.  Hugh is beginning some kind of rage-related threat when the grunt splutters a plea for mercy.  He is, he claims, a spy for Rood’s splinter group, keeping watch on the movements of Ghetsis’ loyalists in order to help thwart their mischief.  Huh.  Way to go, Rood.  I didn’t think espionage was really his style, but I guess it must have been easy enough, since the loyalists are still actively trying to recruit from his group.  Unfortunately, Hugh and I very quickly learn that this spy has discovered absolutely nothing of any value.  He knows that there is a force field protecting the ship’s command centre, and he knows that there is a password.  He has no idea what that password is.  Nor, when Hugh questions him, does he know anything about a stolen Purrloin.  Hugh snorts derisively, muttering that he expected no better from a former member of Team Plasma, then tells Emboar to get off the poor guy and stalks off into the bowels of the ship.  The spy apologises to me for not being helpful, but suggests that some of the real Team Plasma members might know something.

While the exterior of the Team Plasma frigate is quite imposing, and has a certain old-fashioned charm to it, the interior is really rather depressing.  All the furnishings are in dull grey metal, and the grunts sleep in crowded dormitories and take their meals – bread and water, according to their cook – in a run-down mess hall.  Frankly, the place reminds me of a prison.  When I question one of the grunts about their living conditions, she remarks defensively that some of them have nowhere else to go.  Well.  That’s depressing.  I suppose when the alternative is the revilement faced by Rood’s group, maybe this doesn’t seem so bad.  I feel a momentary spasm of guilt at invading their home, and decide to take my mind off it by having Jaime the Samurott dangle one of them out a porthole.  We quickly establish that none of them actually know the password, they just have a couple of letters or clues each.  All this guy knows is that it begins with R.  Well, surely, I point out as Jaime shakes him up and down, they must have compared notes once or twice.  He protests, his voice slightly muffled as it comes in through the porthole, that the kind of people Ghetsis liked to recruit are not exactly experts in cooperative thinking.  I shrug in assent, and dismiss him.  Jaime drops the grunt into the sea, and we turn to the next fellow in line.  He holds up his palms and explains quickly that he knows the password is the name of a Fire-type Pokémon, but nothing more.  I am about to have Jaime stuff him through the porthole anyway, when my brain starts to tick.  A Fire-type Pokémon whose name begins with R.  That’s actually reasonably specific.  Which Fire Pokémon have names that start with R?  There’s Rapidash… Rotom when he’s in the form of a toaster, if you can even count him… and…

No… surely not… surely Zinzolin wouldn’t be so brazen?

I call Jim on my X-Transceiver and tell him to try entering “Reshiram” as the passphrase.  It works.

Clearly Zinzolin never got the memo that your password should never be your name, your spouse, child or pet’s name, your date of birth, or the name of the ancient god who is the raison d’être of your entire organisation.

Jim marches through the deactivated force field with his Lucario, Dovahkiin, at his side.  Behind the field is a tiny room containing a warp panel, presumably leading to somewhere else on the ship that can’t be directly accessed from the outside.  They step onto the warp panel and, with a flash of light, find themselves standing on a balcony overlooking what appears to be the ship’s power core.  Zinzolin is waiting for him.  He applauds Jim for making it into the engine room, to which Jim modestly admits that all he did was keep watch while I found the password.  Zinzolin shrugs, and notes that Jim is still clearly a very powerful trainer – and worthy of seeing the secret of Team Plasma’s newfound success.  He gestures to the power core below, an enormous glass cylinder surrounded by an eerie blue glow that seems to feed the machines around it.  Inside the cylinder, apparently passive and docile, is Kyurem, the legendary dragon of ice.  This is the source of energy that powers their ship’s Nevermeltice cannon and, presumably, its other systems as well.  It takes a while to recharge the cannon after a volley, but apparently the ship is almost ready.  With Kyurem safe behind glass and all his ship’s systems powering up for battle, Zinzolin confidently challenges Jim, but the conclusion is forgone and hilarious.  All of Zinzolin’s Ice Pokémon, of course, are cripplingly weak to Dovahkiin’s powerful Fighting attacks, and have no effective means of damaging a Steel-type anyway.  Hugh, meanwhile, has arrived to deal with Zinzolin’s attendants.  Once their battles have run their course, Hugh approaches Zinzolin and demands to know what’s happened to his sister’s Purrloin.  Zinzolin frowns and gives Hugh a sceptical look.  He has no idea where Purrloin is, though he assumes it now belongs to a member of Team Plasma.  He suggests that Hugh should go and catch another one, to which Hugh objects that this Purrloin was caught for his sister by their grandfather, who has since died.  Zinzolin dismisses this, saying that “an individual’s feelings” are “a trifling matter indeed.”  He chides Hugh for wasting time on such sentimentality, then proclaims the ship ready to fly and summons the Shadow Triad.  Two of them appear by Jim and Hugh on the balcony, and the third appears next to me on the lower decks.  For an instant, everything goes black, and we find ourselves standing on the beach.

GOD DAMN IT, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS TELEPORTING NINJA BULLS#!T.

I run to get back onto the ship, but Zinzolin has already fired up the flight engines, so I start hurling abuse at them instead, beginning with ‘coward’ and working my way up through all the different possible levels of obscenity and anatomical detail.  For some reason, the ship does not descend, but instead flies off to the northwest.  As I slow down to take a breather, we here a familiar voice – “sorry I’m late.”  Cheren, useful as always, has just arrived to tell us that he thinks the ship is heading for the Giant Chasm.  We all hop on our respective Flying Pokémon and prepare to move out, but Cheren himself doesn’t move.  I give him an accusatory glare, and he just says something about looking for the heroes, since only Reshiram and Zekrom can stand up to Kyurem.  We’ll see about that, I mutter as I spur Daenerys into flight.  This is my damn story, and I’m standing up to whatever Pokémon I please, N or no N.  Daenerys the Flygon, Lydia the Swanna, and Hugh’s Unfezant soar off, past Humilau City and back towards route 22.

Let’s talk about legendary Pokémon

So this image was doing the rounds a little while ago.

It’s a bit compressed by the format of my blog, so here’s a link where you can see it full-sized: http://i.imgur.com/mbPDZ94.jpg

I vaguely recall promising someone I would talk about this at some point, since I agree with some of what it says, but think that other parts are a bit simplistic, and others based on faulty assumptions.

So, basically – obviously enough – this purports to be a ‘family tree’ of sorts, showing the connections between all known legendary Pokémon and the way they relate to each other.  The basic concept is more or less sound.  I think it’s debatable whether the content of the Pokémon world’s myths can be, or is intended to be, taken as fact – in some places, Game Freak seem to imply that Arceus isn’t actually the creator of the universe, just a very powerful Pokémon who was worshiped as the creator by the people of ancient Sinnoh, while in other places they seem to state quite unequivocally “yes Arceus is god shut up.”  I think it’s debatable.  Most of what we know about Arceus is in-universe information from the perspective of modern humans, who (as they freely admit) don’t know much about anything.  Still, setting that particular debate firmly aside for the moment, since it’s clearly beyond the scope of what this schema aims to deal with anyway… Some of the ideas are interesting, but I take issue with some of the specifics, which I shall discuss herein:

– I am mystified by the author’s choice to connect Latias and Latios with Dialga.  I can only assume that this stems from the twins’ species designation – the Eon Pokémon – since an eon is a period of time (an extremely long one).  However, they don’t actually have any time-related powers, or any obvious connection with time other than that name.  The only convincing explanation I’ve ever seen for the designation “Eon Pokémon” is that it’s a reference to the Gnostic concept of the Aeons, a series of divine beings understood as ’emanations’ of God (this is a… complicated idea that goes back to Neoplatonist movement of the third century AD, and ultimately has its routes in the doctrine of creation put forward by Plato’s Timaeus, where all reality is thought of as an expression of the mind of the creator, but let’s not go there).  The fact that they exist as a male/female pair (the defining characteristic of Gnostic Aeons, who are unable to fulfill their proper functions in the absence of their counterparts), along with their Psychic typing, are what makes this theory attractive to me.  In short, I don’t think time has anything to do with it, and I don’t think Latias and Latios are directly subordinate to Dialga.  In fact, I think it’s really very difficult to say anything about Latias and Latios other than that they are extremely powerful and intelligent Psychic Pokémon, since there are no stories about them.  They are explicitly said to be herd animals (even though we never actually see them in herds) and they are especially good at sensing emotion, but that’s about it.  I honestly suspect they have no part in the mythology at all.  If they do, and if they are intended to recall the Aeons of Gnosticism, they have some very strange implications for the nature of the Pokémon universe since Gnosticism is based around the idea that the creator (i.e. Arceus) is actually imperfect, and that the physical world is a result of the creator’s flawed nature and acts as a barrier to union with the true divine force.  The Aeons themselves, however, are above that, which would make Latias and Latios, theoretically, a more pure version of what Arceus is supposed to be.  Again, though, in the absence of any firm evidence, I’m hesitant even to give them a place in the cosmology.

– I likewise dispute associating Deoxys with Palkia, since I think this just relies on a fundamental misunderstanding of the word ‘space.’  We often use ‘space’ to refer to everything outside of our own planet, which I think is the sense being employed here – Deoxys is believed to be an alien life form, so must therefore fall under the domain of the ruler of ‘space.’  The trouble is that, when we say that Palkia controls ‘space,’ a very different sense of the word is meant – the three dimensions of space, the x, y and z axes, if you will, the kind of ‘space’ which is occupied by things that have volume.  This ‘space’ does not end at the earth’s atmosphere; everything on Earth exists and moves in these three dimensions, including us.  Deoxys does fall under Palkia’s domain, this is true – but so does every other Pokémon, just as everything that is, was, and will be is within Dialga’s sphere of influence.  There is absolutely no reason to suggest a particularly close link between Deoxys and Palkia, any more than there is to suggest a link between Palkia and Sentret.  What is interesting about Deoxys is that, since it doesn’t seem to be from earth, it’s clearly outside the traditional influence of most other legendary Pokémon.  Deoxys is clearly not descended from Mew, for instance (we know it grew from a virus).  It presumably has no connection with Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf.  Is it even part of the creation of Arceus at all?  I’m not sure.

– The association of Kyogre, Groudon and Rayquaza with Palkia, I can only assume, is to be taken as an assertion that Palkia created the physical world – since it exists in space?  This, again, seems like a faulty link – the earth, sea and sky exist in time as well, so why not connect them with Dialga?  For that matter, since Arceus supposedly created the world, doesn’t it make more sense to assume that those three primal forces were his creations as well?

– I am skeptical of giving Cobalion, Virizion, Terrakion and Keldeo a special role in the cosmology.  Their backstory very much seems to suggest that they were reacting to what they saw as human aggression and recklessness.  They weren’t set up as guardians by Arceus at the beginning of time or anything like that; they took on that role themselves.  Dispute Cobalion, Virizion and Terrakion if you must, but Keldeo is definitely a late addition to their group, and nothing suggests that he was anything special before deciding to join them.  The interesting implication here is that they were not born as legendary Pokémon, but achieved that status later in life.

– I am extremely skeptical of the notion that Regigigas was created by humans.  True, Regigigas and its subordinate creations do have a complicated relationship with humanity (to wit: Regice, Regirock and Registeel were sealed away by humans who feared their power, and Regigigas’ own eternal sleep is presumably – though not necessarily – a result of that same action against them) but the mere fact that Regigigas is supposed to have towed continents (an aetiology for continental drift) surely implies that it is far, far older than humanity.

– Although the belief that Giratina was banished by Arceus is clearly what is supported by the extant mythology, I can’t help but think that a more critical reading may be necessary here.  The events of Platinum version make it clear that Giratina and the Distortion World actually serve a vital purpose in maintaining the balance of forces in the real world.  The Distortion World stabilises our own reality – and, indeed, is so effective at doing so that Dialga and Palkia, the masters of time and space, working in tandem, are unable to destroy it as long as the Distortion World exists.  In fact, the way Cynthia describes it, the Distortion World almost seems like a kind of photo negative to the real world – a backup copy that can be used to repair any damage done to the fabric of existence.  Giratina, it is implied, guards and protects that universe.  Responsibility for an entire universe seems like an awfully important job to give to a being that was “banished for its violence.”  I think it’s more likely that Giratina gained that reputation later on, based on accounts by humans who encountered it for one reason or another and fell afoul of its territorial nature, and that its actual role in Arceus’ creation was originally quite different.

– Finally, I have my own interpretation of Mew, although I’m aware that this one is rather idiosyncratic and many will disagree.  See, I don’t believe that Mew is the ancestor of all Pokémon at all.  I believe that the scientists who originally came to that conclusion prior to the events of Red and Blue were using very faulty logic.  The evidence for this claim is that Mew appears to contain the DNA of all Pokémon, which is how she is able to Transform into any of them and use all of their powers – but that is simply not how evolution works.  The whole point of evolution is that organisms change; an ancestor wouldn’t have all of its descendants’ DNA.  The ‘canon’ explanation of what Mew is just doesn’t make sense.  You can read about what I think is really going on in this entry.

That’s just what jumps out at me.  I might come up with some other points to disagree with if I ever try to examine all of the legendary Pokémon in detail, as I have with Mew.  But that’s another rant entirely.

This question is about the one you recently answered about trying to fill out the Pokemon ecosystem to give variety cabon copy Pokemon. I ask because I agree with both you and the questioner, so I wonder if different forms would be a solution? Instead of Goldeen and Finneon, they could be treated as 1 Pokemon with the same stats abilities and movepools, but have their different names and appearances. They would be looked up in the same place in the Pokedex, under a name like Fin Swimmer or w/e.

Maybe?  I do feel that the idea of Pokémon forms is underused, and this would definitely be a good way of showing that kind of variety in future generations – instead of a new bird Pokémon that’s basically the same thing as Pidgey anyway, just call it what it is and create a regional variation of Pidgey (maybe with slightly different powers, a la Nidoran?).  Saves time and effort.  I don’t think I’d want to condense any existing Pokémon, though.  I mean, we have them now, so I think it makes more sense to try and create more points of difference for them, give them more uniqueness and individuality.  My real problem is that Game Freak just aren’t interested in doing that because continuing to add more new Pokémon is their top priority – excusable, I suppose, given that it’s been proven by experience to keep the franchise going, but it still bugs me.

Have you ever played any of the non-handheld Pokemon games or spinoffs? If you have a Gamecube or Wii available, Colosseum and Gale of Darkness definitely give some change to the typical Pokemon games. I loved how Instead of just using only 1 Type of Pokemon with no real synergy like Gym Leaders, bosses had various themes and strategies for the Double Battles, (Like Skill Swapping with a Slaking).

I don’t own any other consoles, nor have I ever really been able to justify the expense of buying them, so no, I’m afraid not.

Which rival is your favourite, and why?

Hmm.

I’m going to have to go with Silver.  Silver starts off just as amazingly dickish as Blue ever was, if not more so, but he has this wonderful arc of growth and development where he learns to care for his Pokémon and work with them in a beautiful union of friendship – and the thing that I find truly wonderful about all this is that, in the end, he’s still a dick.  Learning to love his Pokémon doesn’t magically change the fact that he is gruff, withdrawn, condescending and just all-around unlikable, which makes that positive shift feel so much more realistic, and emphasises that Silver, like everyone, has both good and bad in him.

Suppose you went over to the dark side because they had cookies. You have your choice to join whichever evil Team you like. Which would it be, and why?

Hmm.  Well, Team Plasma are kind of Ghetsis’ silly brainwashed minions, Teams Aqua and Magma are almost entirely built around a stunning failure to appreciate the basic principles of ecology, and Team Galactic go a little too far for my tastes with their plan to, y’know, destroy the universe, so I suppose I’m going to have to stick to the basics and go with Team Rocket.  They have a sensible goal (money and power, in whatever quantities are achievable), they have no deluded master scheme that would threaten to derail their other plans and/or wipe out modern civilisation, they have a sensible command structure and effective recruiting strategies, and although they lack Team Galactic’s technological supremacy, they’ve still shown they can pull out some fairly impressive scientific expertise when the need arises.  Besides, none of the other teams have an awesome motto.

CHRIS who did you kill for this url

The man who owned it before I did was a profoundly disturbed fellow who used to travel the world with a pointed stick, jabbing people without provocation (hence “poke maniacal”), and post images of his conquests.  He asked me for the time one day while I was in a hurry, so I slew him in single combat using his own pointed stick, stole his wallet, clothes, and identity, sold his children into slavery in a Vietnamese sweatshop, and gave him a Viking funeral.

One could argue that I overreacted but it is a very nice URL.

Why do you ignore Lilligants access to Own Tempo and Petal Dance? It’s one of the only Pokemon that can use a move like that with no consequence!

Because it’s still a bad idea.

The confusion isn’t even really the worst part of moves like Petal Dance, because you can always just switch out.  The trouble is being locked into those moves, and unable to switch out, while they continue.  Dragon-types can get away with using Outrage because so few Pokémon resist Dragon attacks, and even then it’s kind of a gamble.  If you’re using Petal Dance, your opponent basically has a free switch to any of the seven elements that resist Grass attacks (and if Petal Dance keeps going for a third turn and gives the switch-in a chance to set up, you might really be in trouble).

I mean, it’s not useless, but it’s not really good enough that it becomes a better option than Chlorophyll.