The Pokémaniacal New Year’s Speed-Nuzlocke-stravaganza VI

4:37

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Thanks to the secret chemical compounds obtained/stolen from Team Rocket by Evil Steve, Dr. Chrim’s experiments on Specimen X have been successful.  Soon his true power shall be unleashed!

4:44

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Side effects may include dry mouth, nausea, sore throat, vomiting, psychosis, and transformation into a gigantic sea dragon.

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The Pokémaniacal New Year’s Speed-Nuzlocke-stravaganza V

New Year’s Day

1:16

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A haggling dispute with Slippery Sue’s contact at the other end of Rock Tunnel has led to bloodshed.  She and Evil Steve will need to find somewhere else to offload our stolen goods.  Meanwhile, Detective Doug thinks this was all a clever sting operation.

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The Pokémaniacal New Year’s Speed-Nuzlocke-stravaganza IV

1:08

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Though Slippery Sue’s numerous contacts, an independent contractor has been hired to deal with the trees in our path – paid in cash and onions.

1:21

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Hmm…

We could go fight a difficult battle against a master of Electric Pokémon to win a shiny bit of plastic and permission to fly in Kanto…

…or we could take a lucrative contract smuggling goods through Rock Tunnel.

Laters!

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The Pokémaniacal New Year’s Speed-Nuzlocke-stravaganza

Okay peeps; it’s New Year’s Eve, I’m in Jim the Editor’s flat in sunny and tropical St. Andrews, Scotland, it’s fμ¢&ing miserable outside (because Scotland), and I am going to speed-Nuzlocke the $#!t out of Pokémon: Fire Red version, because WHAT ELSE ARE WE GOING TO DO?  This post will be updated throughout the night with progress reports, screenshots and commentary, and we will either conquer the Elite Four or die trying.

LET’S DO THIS

5:02:

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SHUT UP OAK WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS $#!T
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Pokémon Moon, Epilogue: Responsibility

Beneath the crystal dome at the summit of Mount Lanakila, all is serene; all is peaceful.  The dome sparkles in the midday sun, the air is still, pure white clouds drift softly past the mountain below, and the inlaid Pokéball design on my throne pulses gently with a warm azure light.
“…sweet Arceus, I’m SO BORED!”

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Pokémon Moon, Episode 18: In Which I Reluctantly Embrace My Alleged Destiny

Four islands, seven trials, four Kahunas, all behind me.  In the old days, I’m told, that would have basically been it.  I mean, there’s supposed to be a rematch against all four Kahunas up on Mount Lanakila.  As far as I can tell, though, that’s traditionally less about the battles themselves and more about getting absolutely plastered on the beach afterwards.  The after-party for Professor Kukui’s Final Trial is said to have been the stuff of legends, and saw the genesis of three new cocktails, twenty-four herbal hangover remedies, the Alolan form of Grimer, the character of the Masked Royal, and a devastating new Rock-type move that was instantly banned by sixteen different Pokémon Leagues. Continue reading “Pokémon Moon, Episode 18: In Which I Reluctantly Embrace My Alleged Destiny”