One lunatic's love-hate relationship with the Pokémon franchise, and his addled musings on its rights, wrongs, ins and outs. Come one, come all, and indulge my delusions of grandeur as I inflict my opinions on anyone within shouting distance.
again, “Team Rocket is gay now” is pretty compelling
(what am I
saying, “now”? look at Jessie and James; they were always gay)
let’s try for a shorter one
aftermath of the resolution of the main plot in Ultra Sun and Moon, Team
Rocket appears out of nowhere and takes over first Festival Plaza and then the
entire Aether Paradise, renovating Lusamine’s mansion with a new menacing
black-and-red colour scheme. Only they
aren’t Team Rocket anymore – they’ve rebranded, are now Team Rainbow Rocket,
and are accompanied by a rogue’s gallery of villains from all the previous
Pokémon games. And they’ve got plans. Apparently.
I know a lot of my readers haven’t actually played Ultra SMoon
(which… well, fair enough; they’re not a big step up over Sun and Moon)
so let’s begin with a summary of what exactly happens.
This piece is in principle about the Aether Foundation, and we’ll start by talking a little about them. In practise, though, as I hinted last time in my review of Team Skull, it’s actually more a character study of Lusamine, since a lot of the real “villainy” happening in Sun and Moon is a result of her personal actions, either independently of the Foundation itself or abusing her position within it. The interesting thing about Sun and Moon is that, although Team Skull clearly aren’t the villains by the end of the game, the Aether Foundation aren’t really the villains either. In fact, I’m not even sure Lusamine is. Let’s talk about that.
The teleport pad leads to what seems to be Lusamine’s private laboratory – a cavernous space at the heart of Aether Paradise. We’re standing on a massive white platform made of the same synthetic material as the rest of the Paradise’s superstructure, and we must be in some closed-off part of the docking level, since there’s sea water all around the platform’s base – perhaps we’re directly below Lusamine’s mansion. At the centre of the platform, Lusamine has several consoles displaying similar information on spatial anomalies to the instruments in Professor Burnet’s lab back in Heahea City. At her side is a black metal box, glowing from within with a strange blue light and floating just off the floor. And all around her instruments… Continue reading “Pokémon Moon, Episode 14: In Which Literally All Hell Breaks Loose”→
I had just returned to Aether House in what I thought was triumph, only
to find Gladion there, screaming at everyone in the vicinity.
Something tells me this is not going to be the low point of my day.
After a rage-fuelled battle in which my
Raichu and Toucannon narrowly manage to overcome Gladion’s powerful Golbat,
Sneasel, and whatever the hell “Type: Null” is, Gladion calms down enough for
me to figure out what the hell is going on.
In perhaps the single cleverest feint ever executed by a Pokémon villain
in the history of time, it turns out that Plumeria’s abduction of Yungoos was a
ruse, intended mostly to draw me and Acerola away to Po Town. In our absence, Lillie and her adorable little
cosmic nuke were left with no one to protect them but Hau. Now, Hau is admittedly not without his
strengths. Indeed, if anyone ever finds
a way to convert optimism and doughnuts into a sort of tactical high explosive,
Hau will overnight become the foremost military power in the known
universe. However, given the way reality
has currently chosen to manifest itself, he couldn’t win a battle against the
Rotomdex, much less Plumeria, and she was able to double back as soon as no one
was watching and kidnap Lillie and Nebby.
Gladion is decidedly unimpressed, both at the fact that Cosmog was with
Lillie all along (he apparently knows her), and at Hau’s failure to protect
both of them. If nothing else, his
desire to keep Nebby out of the hands of his own employers seems to have been
sincere. Luckily, he not only seems to
know where they’ve gone, but actually has a way to get there: he has a boat
waiting in Malie City, and orders me and Hau to meet him there posthaste. I momentarily consider the possibility that
this is all some kind of complex bluff on his part – perhaps Gladion has been
working with Lillie all along and is now luring me into a trap? By this point I’m about 90% sure they’re
brother and sister, so he could well be involved in her treacherous plot to
rule Alola… but I also don’t really have a better plan than “spring the trap
and use Hau as a human shield,” so I agree to go along.
I got this sparkly bracelet thing, I got a
bunch of weird voodoo crystals with a variety of dubiously magic powers, I got
a bunch of… arguably cool Pokémon that I’d never seen before. Some of those things’d have to fetch a decent
price if I just left Alola and never looked back, right?
And if you’re with the police, no, obviously I’m not talking about the
Pokémon; they would stay with me back in Kanto and I would do my best to give
them all a good life.
(If you’re not with the police, look, I
know a guy who knows a guy, okay? Just