Reconciliation

Professor Sycamore has organised a parade.

I learn this from Diantha as she enters me and my Pokémon in the Hall of Fame. This must be the ‘surprise’ he mentioned preparing when we last met in Couriway Town. Well, what better way to announce my newfound supremacy to the peasants of Kalos? When we arrive in Lumiose City, vast crowds are lining the main boulevards, cheering for the ‘defenders of Kalos.’ A red carpet has been laid out for me and my rivals, leading to a shining white stage where Professor Sycamore is waiting. He delivers some saccharine bit of oratory about the wonder of our achievements in defeating Team Flare, for which the crowd goes wild, of course, and presents me (and only me, I note with approval) with a red, white and blue medal: the Honour of Kalos. Sycamore’s influence never ceases to amaze. As far as I can tell, he has closed down several major Lumiose City streets, convinced several thousand people to show up for the parade, and arranged for me to be awarded a prestigious national honour, pretty much on a whim. I remember why I’m here, and prepare to launch into a speech of my own, but the words freeze in my throat. There is someone else on the red carpet. AZ. “Battle me,” he requests. “I want to know what a ‘trainer’ is.” I respectfully submit to him that it’s really not that difficult a concept, but agree anyway. What’s the harm? I wasn’t aware AZ even had any Pokémon, having lost his partner so long ago, but apparently he’s actually quite powerful, with a high-level Torkoal, Golurk and Sigilyph (sensible choices, in his position – Torkoal are very long-lived, while Golurk and Sigilyph, I suspect, are biologically immortal). Of course, I just defeated the Champion, and although AZ has millennia of experience, he’s a little worse for wear. My Pokémon overcome his with little difficulty. He seems satisfied though, and smiles for the first time since I met him, saying that the delight of our battle has finally allowed him to overcome the sorrow of his terrible crimes. Well, fair enough. Three thousand years is an awfully long time to regret something. There is sudden a flash of light in the sky, above AZ’s head, and something floats down towards him. I squint against the sunlight, and the vague shape slowly resolves into a diminutive humanoid, holding an elaborate staff, or… a flower. AZ’s eyes widen as he recognises his Floette descending on the wind. She comes to rest in his outstretched hands and smiles at him, and before the eyes of the whole city, the ancient king begins to weep with joy. Professor Sycamore waxes lyrical about how returning AZ to his old self made his partner come back to him, and the crowd cheers. Well. So much for my parade. Upstaged by a hobo and a halfway-evolved Fairy Pokémon… sometimes I wonder whether this region deserves the glory of my conquest…

As the parade disperses, I wander around Lumiose City for a while. I am kicked out of a sushi restaurant for being a ‘greenhorn’ and told to come back when I’m a ‘high roller.’ I vow to destroy them and ban sushi in my empire. I instead exploit my newfound Champion status to have dinner at the acclaimed and highly exclusive Restaurant Le Wow, which reminds me why I have always found Kalosian cuisine utterly terrifying, even if it is considered a national treasure. I run into Professor Sycamore, who gives me a pass for the train to sunny Kiloude City, which is Lyon. Lyon houses the regional elite battle facility, the Battle Maison, which is run by four sisters known as the Battle Chateleines, responsible for single, double, triple and rotation battles, respectively. It works much like the Battle Tower or Subway, but streamlined – you earn battle points after every battle (thank the gods – earning enough points in the Battle Subway to do almost anything worthwhile had come to be such a chore), and can take a break at any time, rather than having to complete a series of seven matches. I note these little courtesies with approval, and spend an afternoon there, earning the notice of the youngest Chateleine, Nita, and defeating her in an introductory battle. The city is also home to a curious little area called the Friend Safari – given how late I am to the party, my readers are doubtless all familiar with the wonders of this attraction already, but an explanation cannot hurt. The Friend Safari is a checkerboard of paddocks where wild Pokémon can be battled and captured – one area for every friend you have registered, each with two or three different species of wild Pokémon, some of whom (if the locals are to be believed) may have their Dream World abilities. If you’ve bothered to read this much of my inane prattle, then you are surely a loyal minion, and worthy of my ‘friendship,’ if so it can be called, and so my code is as follows: 2036-6563-2537 (I have no idea what my Friend Safari area contains, but doubtless someone will tell us all in the comments).

Serena challenges me to a battle once again, promising me I’m in for a surprise – and I am! Not only does she now have six Pokémon, she’s been working hard, and their levels are even higher than mine! I have Orion use Calm Mind to boost up against her Meowstic and knock it out with a Shadow Ball, before coming face to face with a Clefable. Fighting back my instinct to whack it with an Aura Sphere, I use Shadow Ball again, but its almighty fatness is too much; it survives with more than half of its health remaining (albeit with a special defence penalty) and finishes Orion with Focus Blast. I have Xerneas wrap things up with a Moonblast, and then decide to go for a Geomancy against Serena’s Jolteon. Her second Thunder attack misses, and I find myself in a very happy position indeed. Even Serena’s mighty Delphox, with its resistance to most of Xerneas’ attacks, cannot stop his Moonblasts, and Altaria finds itself similarly imperilled. Finally, out comes Absol, and- what’s this? Serena has a Digivice! Her Absol explodes with light and sprouts angelic wings – before being blown away rather anticlimactically by another Moonblast. Evidently Mega Absol doesn’t gain anything that confers resistance to Fairy attacks. I sigh. It’s been a long time since I’ve seriously used a legendary Pokémon – I’d forgotten how dramatically they tip the balance of battles. For the first time, I feel a little bit unsporting about crushing Serena with every ounce of my power; she has clearly been training a great deal. She doesn’t let this get her down, though; in fact, she even hands over a spare Absolite she found. “Maybe it will help show Lysandre there’s something to be hopeful for.” Okay, so we’re definitely saying he’s alive, then? That’s definitely what’s going on here? She declines to expand on her statement, simply informing me that Professor Sycamore is in Anistar City and wants to talk to me about my Digivice. Well, much as Anistar City unsettles me, with its illusionary Gym and impossible sea, this is probably important… I stop by the Kiloude Pokémon Centre, retrieve Tereus, and fly there at once.

I find Sycamore waiting for me in front of the Anistar Sundial. He has some exposition for me: after further study, he has come to believe that the Mega Stones were created by the light of the Ultimate Weapon when it was first used, three thousand years ago, and may have been evolutionary stones originally, that have taken on their new powers by being irradiated with Xerneas’ energy. The mysterious sundial crystal has some relationship to the stones as well, but he doesn’t quite understand what yet. Due to my experiences in Geosenge Town and subsequent attunement to Xerneas, I should possess some of the same energy – which will do something interesting if I touch the sundial. Without hesitation, I reach out with the arm I wear my Digivice on. There is a flash of brilliant light, and Sycamore gives a satisfied smile. My Digivice has been upgraded, he tells me, and can now sense buried Mega Stones – but only for an hour each day, while the sundial is glowing with the light of the setting sun. I shrug. I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth – power is power, restricted or no. Professor Sycamore leaves me to my thoughts. A bit listless now, I fly back to Lumiose City for another look around… and immediately get a call on my holo-caster. Someone wants to meet me.

Ridiculous quote log:

“Meow, meow, I can haz battle, meow? (Ugh, I really sound like a fool, don’t I?)”
…are we really going there? Really? (And yes, yes you do.)

“We begin with a vintage 3000-year-old Rare Bone, boiled for 100 days in pristine snow melted from Kalos’s fine Frost Cavern.”
…uh… look, not to sound ungrateful, but I really don’t want to eat that… and… hey, where the hell did you even get a 3000-year-old Rare Bone? There is no way this is legal.

“…a pristinely prepared item in a light velouté sauce harvested from-”
Look, sorry, I’m going to cut you off right there – item? I am not taking one bite of this until you tell me what the hell you just served me!

The Liberator of Men

I get the call as I stand outside the Anistar Gym. It’s time for the main event.

Lysandre has sent out a broadcast to all the trainers of Kalos via their Holo-Casters: as leader of Team Flare (Gasp! Can it be true? He seemed so nice!), he is putting into motion their plan to create a beautiful new world at last. This plan involves the annihilation of Kalos’ entire population in a conflagration of epic proportions from which only Team Flare will be spared. Well, that… is a bit more extreme than I thought he would be aiming for, I admit; I was anticipating something of a more ambiguous John-Keats-Ode-on-a-Grecian-Urn-perfection-through-stasis kind of deal but hey, it wouldn’t be a Pokémon plot if we didn’t have to prevent the apocalypse, right? Okay; let’s get this show on the road, people! To Paris!

Luckily, Lysandre is the least subtle person in the world and is putting his plan into motion from the laboratory which shares his name, beneath the café in Lumiose City which also shares his name. The wait staff at the café are members of Team Flare, and try to stop me from entering, which goes about as well as might be expected.

“Oh no! He’ll find out the password to the hidden door in this café is ‘open sesame’!”

…okay, well, I was going to torture it out of you but I guess this works too. Y’know, as long as we’re all disappointing me today. I enter Lysandre Labs through the secret door, and Lysandre himself appears. That’s… refreshingly direct. Lysandre explains that he once wanted to save everyone, but is no longer concerned with that – the world has only so much in the way of resources and space, and too many people are too willing to squander it, so he’s just going to wipe out everyone who isn’t in his club. He still seems open to the possibility of my joining him, but I shake my head and sigh that he just doesn’t get what I’m all about. Lysandre challenges me, opening with a Mienfoo who loses to Odysseus, but not before delivering a pretty brutal Hi Jump Kick which leaves him wide open to Lysandre’s next and strongest Pokémon, a powerful Gyarados. Gyarados locks itself into Outrage while finishing my Clawitzer, giving me the opportunity to send in Orion to weather its attacks, take advantage of its confusion to grab a Calm Mind boost, Digivolve and blow away Lysandre’s remaining Pokémon – a Murkrow and a Pyroar (the first male Pyroar I’ve seen – and a very impressive one it is too; it matches his hair very nicely). Far from being upset, Lysandre is delighted at my skill and invites me to invade his lab, challenge his scientists for possession of an elevator key, and join him below in the basement to stop him if I can. If nothing else, he’s certainly one of the most polite villains I’ve ever met.

Lysandre Labs is a very traditional Team Rocket-esque warp panel maze. Here I meet all four of the Team Flare scientists. Aliana just seems excited to battle me again. Celosia and Bryony (are these two, like, a thing? I feel like these two are girlfriends or something) have apparently forgotten me but are nice enough to explain after being defeated that the menhirs of Geosenge Town are the graves of Pokémon whose life force fuelled the ultimate weapon the last time it was used, three thousand years ago (what did I tell you? Ritual!), and will fuel it again today. Mable, finally, claims that since both my Digivice and Lysandre’s ultimate weapon maximise a Pokémon’s power, we really want the same thing. Well, not exactly; I feel there are certain important differences, like how the ultimate weapon destroys all civilisation while my Digivice makes Pokémon go pink and sparkly… which makes me feel rather inferior, when you put it that way. I take out my frustrations on Mable, who coughs up the elevator key when defeated. I also run into Left and Right, doing their superhero thing, and apparently searching for a mysterious tall man, also sought by Team Flare for purposes unknown. They are doing this on the instructions of Professor Sycamore, who is trying to stop Lysandre using his “network of acquaintances.” Professor Sycamore… who is one of Lysandre’s closest friends. Ouch. I wonder how he’s taking all of this. As I muse on this, I stumble upon what appears to be Lysandre’s research library. Well, I am kinda busy… but on the other hand, books and backstory… The ultimate weapon, as we know, was created three thousand years ago by a Kalosian king. This king, I learn here, was named AZ (yes, with a capital Z), who was “both the beginning and the end,” and united Kalos with his futuristic technology. The famous war was between AZ and his brother (Lysandre’s ancestor, if memory serves), who wanted to conquer Kalos, and resulted in the death of AZ’s Pokémon partner, which sent him into a deep depression and caused him to use the ultimate weapon to end the war. AZ’s brother changed his mind about his conquest after seeing the devastation this caused, and buried the weapon, while AZ himself disappeared, taking the device’s key with him. The texts describing the weapon conclude: “that is something to be used by sophisticated powers, not by humans. Human beings must create a world where such a weapon is unnecessary…” Indeed, Lysandre’s own notes on the subject decide that “this is something best not left to man… I must use a tool of higher power.” He’s got quite an ego on him, acknowledging the significance of the powers he’s tampering with but doing it anyway. Do I detect just a hint of a messiah complex here?

Back at the elevator, I descend to the next floor, where I find Lysandre standing in front of a prison cell. Inside is… the old guy! The one from outside Lumiose City, who was looking for the ‘flower Pokémon’! I had totally forgotten about him! Only the… thing from around his neck is missing… the… thing that looked kind of like a… key…

…uh-oh.

Lysandre confirms that this is, indeed, AZ (well, Lysandre only says that he has the same name as the ancient king, but let’s face it, it would hardly be the weirdest thing that’s happened this week if it were really the same guy). He tells his story, accompanied by a series of colour images. Apparently the ultimate weapon wasn’t originally a weapon at all – it was a resurrection machine, created to bring back AZ’s partner, a shiny Floette like mine, but whose flower was a unique black tulip (ah… “the flower Pokémon that was given eternal life”…). It succeeded, at the cost of the lives of hundreds of other Pokémon, and AZ’s rage subsequently made him twist it into a weapon that slaughtered countless more. His partner, saddened by his actions, abandoned him – and he’s been looking for her ever since, the weapon’s power having rendered them both immortal. Well, there you go. Trying to cheat death does not end well; just ask Orpheus, or Gilgamesh. Lysandre doesn’t seem interested in taking AZ’s advice to leave the weapon buried, but has an intriguing suggestion: he’ll leave it up to me whether the weapon is used or not. My interest piqued, I follow him to the next floor of the building, where a fifth and final scientist, a rotund red-haired man in goggles named Xerosic, who seems to have wanted a mohawk but had difficulty committing, is waiting for us. Lysandre explains his terms: beat Xerosic, who wants a battle to test my skill, and I can decide what happens next. He then leaves me in the scientist’s capable hands. Xerosic is stronger than the other scientists, but his Crobat and Malamar still fail to defeat Odysseus and Pytho, so he gleefully explains the game: I can press either the red button or the blue button. One will activate the ultimate weapon, and the other will shut it down.

But this is so simple! All I have to do is divine from what I know of Xerosic – is he the sort of person who would have the ultimate weapon be triggered by the blue button or by the red one? Now, a clever man would have the blue button trigger the weapon, because he would know that only a great fool would press the big red button. I’m not a great fool, so I clearly cannot press the blue button. But after all I’ve done to thwart Team Flare he must have known I’m not a great fool – he would have counted on it, so I clearly cannot press the red button. But then again, blue is the colour of sadness and sorrow, the sorrow that would be brought by the activation of the weapon, so I clearly cannot choose the blue button – and he must have suspected I would have known this, so I clearly cannot press the red button either! I’ve defeated Team Flare’s minions and his own Pokémon, so Xerosic knows I am exceptionally powerful, and he could have set the red one to trigger the weapon, trusting in my overconfidence to make me push the big red button, so I clearly cannot press this one. But he is also a genius scientist, which means he must have studied, and in studying he must have learned that red is a colour of warning which my instincts would lead me to avoid, and connected the weapon instead to the blue button, so I clearly cannot press that one either! Xerosic just smiles serenely at me as I explain all of this, like he thinks he’s keeping his secrets, but he’s given everything away; I know which button activates the weapon! He’s fallen victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is “never get involved in a land war in Ransei,” but only slightly less well known is this: “never go in against a Pokémaniac when the fate of the world is on the line!” I stride confidently up to the blue button- and spin around suddenly, pointing towards the stairs behind Xerosic.
“Good lord!” I exclaim, “is that a shiny Chansey?” He turns and squints in the direction of the stairs, as I dash quickly to the other side of the room, smack the red button with the palm of my hand, and run back to the blue button before he can see me. Xerosic turns around again and smiles.
“You guessed wrong.” I throw back my head and cackle gleefully.
“You only think I guessed wrong! I ran across and pressed the other button while your back was turned, you fool!”
“No,” Xerosic says, “no, you actually did guess wrong. Just look. The poisonous flower has bloomed!” He points at a big monitor hanging on the wall, where the ultimate weapon, an enormous crystal flower, is emerging from the ground beneath Geosenge Town and beginning to gather its dread energies.

…whoops.

Slowly turning back to Xerosic, I smile sweetly at him and ask “Best of three?”

Ridiculous quote log:

“The warp panels transport both happiness and sadness in equal measure.”
I guess that’s true – happiness for me; sadness for you.

Cold Darkness of the Cosmos

Before entering Dendemille Town, I turn south for a look at the route leading back towards Lumiose City. This whole north-eastern area seems to be in a state of perpetual autumn, in contrast to the permanent summer of the rest of Kalos, and has inhabitants to match; in addition to several of the same Pokémon as I found on the last route, I find Foonguss and two new Ghost/Grass Pokémon: Phantump, a dark wisp inhabiting a tree stump, and Pumpkaboo, the floating pumpkin I encountered in Lumiose City. Seeing two new Pokémon with the same previously unseen type combination in the same area initially makes me think that they probably influence each other’s evolution in some way, like Shelmet and Accelgor, but I am informed that this is not the case – they just evolve when traded. Doing so results in Trevenant, an utterly terrifying undead tree with a single glowing red eye and six splayed insect-like legs, and Gourgeist, a jack-o’-lantern with some kind of vaguely-feminine looking eel-like head and a pair of pink things that could easily be hair, arms, tentacles, or all three. This adorably creepy little specimen “enwraps its prey in its hairlike arms [and] sings joyfully as it observes the suffering of its prey.” So… that’s fun. The route’s only other notable feature is a network of jetties built out over a lake to maximise the area available for fishing; here I am given a Super Rod, but come across nothing of particular interest in testing it out. Satisfied that this route has nothing more for me at the moment, I return north.

If Dendemille Town’s surroundings are trapped in autumn, the town itself is locked in an eternal winter. Snow falls on hardy evergreens as stubborn farmers try to coax life from frozen soil. The town’s most prominent feature is a huge windmill surrounded by some kind of massive fortification wall, so presumably they do manage to produce something here (not much point in a windmill without grain). Shortly after entering the town, I am met by Professor Sycamore, with Right in tow (Left, presumably, is off fighting crime). Sycamore rambles incoherently about journeys and cafés for a while, before slipping into a brief eulogy of Kalos’ amazing legendary Pokémon, Xerneas, who “resembles the letter X.” No-one knows anything concrete about Xerneas, but Right promises to do some research. They both leave, giving me the chance to check out more of Dendemille Town and find what is perhaps its most important feature from my perspective: the home of the move deleter and move relearner. At last, I can experience the true glory of Clawitzer’s movepool – Mega Launcher-boosted Dark Pulse, Dragon Pulse and Aura Sphere. I only have three Heart Scales and I want to teach Dragon Pulse to my Lucario as well, so I greedily snatch up Dark Pulse and Aura Sphere and move on. Dendemille Town doesn’t appear to have a Pokémon Gym, but the next route is impassable: nothing but huge drifts of snow all around. The inhabitants inform me that there is normally a Mamoswine who carries travellers through the snow, but this Mamoswine is currently “distracted by something” in the Frost Cavern north of Dendemille Town, so I suppose there’s nothing for it but to go and find the damn thing myself… and maybe pick up some nifty new Ice Pokémon in the process.

It doesn’t take long for me to find Mamoswine, in the company of a boy whom I assume is its trainer, in the stark snowbound mountains north of town. Apparently Mamoswine is worried about something going on in the cavern, but either can’t or won’t do anything about it. Trevor, who wants to investigate species distribution in the Frost Cavern, volunteers to look into it, but my confidence in Trevor’s abilities has never been high, so I head into the cave along with him to find out what’s wrong. The Frost Cavern is giving me flashbacks to the Ice Path of Gold and Silver, with all its ‘icy floor’ puzzles and, of course, its Ice-type fauna – Beartic, Cryogonal, Piloswine, Jynx, and a weird little pyramid-shaped Ice Pokémon called a Bergmite, a sort of physical tank whose main strength appears to be “being a block of ice.” The fact that X and Y allow diagonal movement becomes quite important here, because it means you can slide diagonally across the ice floors – I think there’s only one part of the area that actually requires this, but I must have stared at the screen for about ten minutes before I thought of trying it (so much for my vaunted lateral thinking skills…). In the depths of the cave, I locate the problem: surprise, surprise; it’s Team Flare. A pair of grunts and a blue-haired woman wearing a visor, presumably another scientist, are tormenting a huge Abomasnow, apparently to test the limits of its power before they capture it. Trevor arrives and orders them to stop, which they predictably ignore. The scientist, Mable, explains that they’re collecting Pokémon and energy for their dastardly plans, which apparently involve destroying everyone who isn’t part of their group. She has only one Pokémon, a powerful Houndoom, which I dispatch with my Clawitzer. Defeated, she and her grunts flee. Trevor departs in relief, and I turn to go as well – but feel a tap on my shoulder. Well, I say a ‘tap,’ it’s more of a heavy, blunt ‘thunk,’ but a tap seems to have been the intention. It’s Abomasnow, who wants to thank me with a gift: a green-and-white Abomasite orb. Mega Abomasnow, huh? Could this be what uplifts Hail to equal status with the other major weather effects? Eh, probably not, but we’ll see.

Mamoswine is now back on duty. According to his trainer, Mamoswine first came to Dendemille town when he was gravely injured and rescued by an Abomasnow. It was probably the same one, and Mamoswine was likely refusing to work because he was worried about his friend. D’aww… you know, there is something incredibly endearing about inter-species friendships. Anyway, with Mamoswine back, I have my ride through the snow to Anistar City. Mamoswine is capable of ploughing through drifts of snow that cover him almost completely, and even smashing submerged boulders. I feel a sudden pang of regret for never having trained one of these things. A few more Ice Pokémon – Delibird, Sneasel, and Snover (better evolve him later to check out Abomasnow’s mega form…) appear on the way, but I reach Anistar City without much more excitement, and receive a call from Serena challenging me to a battle by the Pokémon Gym. The bitter cold softens a little as I reach Anistar City and look around. Left shows up to inform me that Right has learned of a person in this city who is an expert in the lore of Kalos’ legendary Pokémon, and that it would be a good idea for me to find him. Of course, cities in the Pokémon world being what they are, this doesn’t take long. I learn that Xerneas appeared in Kalos 800 years ago, bringing energy and vitality to the entire region. Supposedly, it lives for a thousand years and releases all of its remaining power at the end of its life to enrich everything around it. Another story relates that 3000 years ago, another Pokémon which might have been Xerneas saved many people and Pokémon from a terrible war, before turning into a dried-up tree, which is still hidden somewhere in Kalos. Hmm. I’ve heard about this war; I think this is the same terrible war Lysandre’s ancestor was supposedly involved with – the one that still scars the history of Kalos even today…

Anistar City has one major attraction: the Anistar Sundial. Not really a ‘sundial’ at all in the traditional sense of the word, this is a massive and exquisitely cut translucent pink crystal which (I think) tells the time by refracting sunlight onto a series of concentric golden rings. According to the locals, no-one is sure how the thing was made, since it’s thousands of years old and even modern technology couldn’t cut such an enormous crystal so perfectly. The whole set-up is on a platform which juts out over… the… sea…

…wait…

I pull out my town map. Anistar City, which is surrounded on three sides by water, is nowhere near the ocean.

There’s something very strange about this city, and it makes me uneasy. I’m heading for the Gym. I deal quickly with Serena, who has added a Jolteon to her team and become much more powerful since our last fight, but is still lagging behind (and seems to be developing self-esteem issues), and enter the building. It’s… empty. It’s just a perfectly normal room, with a couple of sidetables, a fireplace, and two windows with long purple curtains. In the centre is a large rug with a design of stars and circles. No trainers. No Gym Leader. I slowly walk forward, looking around, and step onto the circular pattern on the rug… and the world explodes. I give a started yelp as the room around me dissolves into nothing, and I find myself in space. Walkways of light criss-cross in a three-layered sphere, with stars and comets flying past in the background. One of the Psychic Pokémon trainers here tells me “don’t be distracted by your surroundings.” “EASY FOR YOU TO SAY,” I screech back. Not a moment too soon, I come to the centre of the sphere, where the Gym Leader, Olympia, is waiting. Olympia is a strange, distant woman who wears a white cloak with a night sky pattern in its lining (or… it could be lined with the actual night sky, for all I know…), who speaks as though her mind is in a dream… but is perfectly wakeful while battling. Her Sigilyph, protecting itself with Reflect and scoring a few opportune flinches with Air Slash, deals pretty heavy damage to my Malamar, Photia, before going down, leaving Olympia’s second Pokémon, a powerful Slowking, to finish her off. I send in Orion the Lucario to start blasting away with Dragon Pulse, but Slowking boosts up with Calm Mind and blows away Orion’s mind with Psychic. Finally, I bring out the big guns: Odysseus the Clawitzer. Dark Pulse breaks through even Slowking’s boosted special defence. Olympia’s final Pokemon, disappointingly, is a Meowstic; a high-level one, to be sure, but not nearly as powerful as a Sigilyph or a Slowking, and Odysseus makes short work of it. Olympia rewards me with a Calm Mind TM, a golden badge in the shape of a curling wisp of smoke rising from a violet pearl (the Psychic Badge – awesome name there; really inventive, Olympia), and a prophecy: “Power that grants life awakens – voices of woe. That is your future." She then waves her hand and teleports me back to the entrance of the Gym. I find myself back in the plain room. I’m honestly not sure the Anistar Gym, its trainers, or Olympia even exist at all; my Pokémon and I may have hallucinated the entire experience… but the Psychic Badge is still in my hand, and that’s all I need.

Ridiculous quote log:

“Windmills rotate just like the wheels of destiny! So Rotation Battles are like windmills! Ah… I mean destiny!
You know what else rotates like the wheels of destiny? You, strapped to a windmill.

“I hope I still have Pokémon when I grow up. ‘Cause when I have kids, I want to trade Pokémon with them.”
That is some nice marketing there, Nintendo. Real subtle. There are now, of course, people who picked up Pokémon as children or teenagers and are now having kids of their own…