Today’s Pokémon is something of a dark horse contender for most adorable Pokémon of generation VII. Sure, it’s so ugly that it turns the old cliché “if looks could kill” into a grim reality, but it just wants to be loved, and the well-meaning adage “be yourself” has led it to one too many tragedies. Horrifying as it is at first glance, it’s hard not to sympathise with it once you learn the trials and tribulations that plague Mimikyu: the Disguise Pokémon.Continue reading “Mimikyu”
So the story, for the viewers at home, is as follows. This old woman and her Machamp are visiting the grave of her husband, Machamp’s trainer. He died in a car crash that likely would have claimed Machamp’s life as well, but he had the presence of mind to recall Machamp to its Pokéball at the last moment, protecting it. Machamp subsequently threw away its own Pokéball and refused to use one again. Continue reading “Anonymous asks:”
Why are Alolan Marowack, Sensu Oricorio,and Decidueye ghost types? They’re not dead!
Well, I don’t think being a Ghost-type necessarily means you are a literal ghost. Maybe half of them, tops, are said to be the spirits of the dead in legend and folklore (my rule here is “read the Pokédex because it’s really important, but for the love of Arceus, don’t trust it”), but most of the others have their type and abilities on the grounds of an affinity for death and the dead, or in some cases power over them. Pokémon like Dusknoir and Pumpkaboo, for instance, are known for leading spirits and people between the worlds of the living and the dead, while Chandelure and Jellicent are spiritual predators; I don’t think anyone ever claimed that any of them are the ghosts of dead people or Pokémon, but they can all interact with ghosts. Similarly, Decidueye is a sort of shaman with the ability to interact with souls as though they were physical things, and Alolan Marowak can summon the aid of spiritual powers through their ritual dances.
ARE YOU DEAD?
I recently chose to spend some time dead, for tax reasons
Accordingly, I booked a few weeks at a luxury resort in the inner ring of the seventh circle of hell, concealed my treasures within a hermetic vault beneath the Southern Alps, and arranged my own murder at the hands of an international cabal of mystic assassins
My remaining agents on the mortal plane have now established a psychic link to allow me to answer reader questions, as well as orchestrate terrible vengeance against all those who have abandoned my service or otherwise wronged me during my absence, in preparation for my inevitable resurrection
The ritual will commence shortly; please do not be alarmed if you are struck by falling frogs while outside, and if you have pets, try to keep a qualified translator of Old Babylonian on hand to record any instructions they may give you
If nothing happens, just assume I’ve died. It’s possible I’m dead already and just haven’t stopped writing yet. I may be becoming a sort of lich-like entity, in which case I look forward to the vast magical powers that will surely be mine when the transformation is complete.