There are only two male Grass-type gym leaders, did you know that? Is that weird or is it just me? Anyway, FMK: Cilan, Ramos, and Gardenia’s mirror universe double who is exactly the same except a guy.
also only two female ones, Gardenia and Erika, unless you count Mallow who
isn’t really a Gym Leader, and frankly Flying and Poison have even less
representation than Grass, so-
fµ¢&’s sake it’s one of these things
is the one I’d have the best foundation for a relationship with, because we’d
bake stuff together, so I’ve gotta marry him
but then it’s
between fuck and kill for Ramos, and… like…
…I mean, I know
this is gonna sound shallow but he’s SO OLD, guys
like, if there
were ever an option where “fuck” and “kill” could wind up accidentally being
synonymous, he’s it
…on the other
hand Gardenia is super athletic, and
I guess I can imagine her being pretty hot as a trans guy, so… maybe this works
out after all…
I miss those FMKs!! So here’s another one… Cyrus, Cheren or Hugh?
marry Cheren because honestly both of the other two kind of scare me and he seems like the sort of guy who’d grow up to get a steady well-paying job as an accountant or something
kill Cyrus because… I mean… he’s basically some kind of death cultist and he tried to unmake the universe so he could become a god, so…
so I guess that leaves fuck Hugh, which… I mean… yaaaaay?
My turn for an FMK question! Lance, Steven Stone, Wallace!
oh Christ more of these
Okay, Lance and Wallace both wear capes so both of them are clearly trying way too hard, but only Lance actually goes out of his way to act like a superhero, which is a major warning sign, so let’s kill him
As for Steven, I am on the record as saying a number of disparaging things about geology (many of them including the phrases “not real science” or “really just applied physical chemistry”) but at least he’s also interested in archaeology and mythology, which is probably the closest thing I’ve got here to a solid foundation for a relationship, so let’s marry him
So I guess fuck Wallace? I mean… sure???
Screw it I love these FMKs how about Guzma, Professor Kakui, Plumeria
well… Plumeria scares me… and she might kill me back… so I’m going to go with fuck Plumeria to theoretically mimimise the risk to my own life…
Gotta kill Guzma because he’s a jerk
And that leaves me with Kukui to marry, which is fine by me
Since the last FMK question was so interesing… Heres another: Blue, Burgh and Volkner??
Well, let’s see… I mean, you gotta kill Burgh ‘cause he’s incompetent, pretentious and annoying… but then again, Blue is a huge jerk… eh, I suppose he gets better as he matures though. Volkner has this kinda hot brooding quality to him but seems like he’d be a super high-maintenance partner. So… let’s go with fuck Volkner, marry Blue, kill Burgh.
F*ck, Marry, Kill: James from Team Rocket in the anime, Silver, Grunt B from Team Skull.
gotta marry B because let’s be honest I’ve invested way too much quality writing into that relationship for it to end in a one-night stand
James has old money and shows kindness to Pokémon and all, but he’s also really annoying and would probably be the most fun to kill, maybe by lowering into a pit of snakes or something
Silver’s daddy issues might make things a little uncomfortable but he also seems like he’d be into really rough sex which, let’s be real here, is worth experimentation, and I do kinda have a thing for redheaded guys, so…