Not Me asks:

If you could pick an animal to base the next pika-clone on, what would it be?

can I pick something that doesn’t exist so it doesn’t get made

uggggghhhhh fine

obviously there is only one animal in all the infinite cosmos that is worthy of this… dubious honour

and that is its majestic lordship the capybara

Pros:

  • It’s a fat sack of $#!t, which I strongly empathise with
  • Can swim, which is an excellent excuse to have it be Water/Electric
  • Big enough to stack all the other Pikachu clones on top of it
  • I admit I’m not sure how that would be helpful, but it seems like a plus
  • Mysterious gland on its snout can be adapted for dispensing electric death
  • Often has a bird sitting on its head
  • Good excuse to do a Brazil/Amazon-inspired region
  • Despite being literally an obese guinea pig, can run as fast as a horse
  • Skin grease can be used in traditional medicine

Cons:

  • Literally none???

EDIT: I will it so, and it is done! Here’s reader voltorb1993’s take on “Zapybara”!

Togedemaru

*sigh*

250px-777Togedemaru.png
Togedemaru

So it has come to this.

Once more I am faced with my immortal enemy, the creeping darkness at the heart of Pokémon that threatens to bring down all that we hold dear…

…the Pikachu clones.

I don’t even think I’m allowed to just reflexively dislike these fµ¢&ing things anymore because of that damn Pachirisu that won a world championship; no, I’m actually supposed to have reasons now, whatever that means. Well… here goes nothing. Continue reading “Togedemaru”

Anonymous asks:

So I saw in one of your recent answers to a question, that you hated Dedenne, and I was just wondering why exactly you hate her? Mostly because I really like her design, and also that she is the only competitively viable Pika-Clone imo due to my Mono-Electric team, where she pulls her own weight pretty well.

Well… I didn’t use the word “hate” and I honestly don’t think I ever have with respect to Dedenne.  She is in some respects more deserving of respect than her predecessors.  Honestly, though, I’ve gotta say that your own endorsement of her as the only competitively viable Pikachu clone is a) not exactly saying much, and b) probably not true; if anyone’s earned that title it’s Pachirisu.  Ultimately, I would have thought that the rest of the post you’re referencing would have made my problem with Dedenne perfectly obvious: it’s not even her fault, really, I just get seriously rubbed up the wrong way by “template” Pokémon, when Game Freak decides to make the same damn Pokémon again and again because it worked so well the first time.  I’ve been done with the whole Pikachu clone thing as a basic idea for about three generations now, and Dedenne did nothing to change my mind.  If you particularly wish to know my thoughts on her in excruciating detail, you can find them here.

Anonymous asks:

If you had the power to mind control Gamefreak employees while they’re brainstorming Pokemon ideas, what would you have them come up with?

Okay, let’s be clear on one thing here; if I had the power to mind-control Game Freak employees at any time at all, I would use it to make them wire all of their company’s money into my US bank account, then high-tail it to Acapulco and never be seen again. Just so that’s clear.

But aside from that, I would probably start by temporarily blocking out all memory of Pikachu and Pikachu’s popularity, because that is the only way I’m ever going to get them to stop making more goddamn cookie-cutter electric rodents.  Then I would compel them to spend hours on end staring at Mediaeval European bestiaries.  Then again, it’s possible they do that already.  It would explain Murkrow startlingly well.