What is your favorite non-starter Grass type?

My favourite Pokémon – period – is Vileplume. I admit it’s purely a matter of sentimentality; there’s nothing particularly wonderful about her design. I just like it. I suppose I’ve always considered Vileplume the archetypal Grass Pokémon – calm and gentle, but filled with some of the most horrid disabling attacks and support abilities you can think of. The choice of the Rafflesia arnoldii as a design base is quite appropriate – the flower is striking, even beautiful, but its stench is proverbial.

Ok, so leveling up is more or less just a mechanical way to describe a Pokemon’s effort and overall “readiness” to evolve (some restrictions and exceptions apply, obviously). Which makes IVs and EVs very easy to explain – in fact, they are the system we’re talking about. But….what’s Pokerus, then??

Well, I would like to note that IVs are permanent and unchanging, so I think they represent, rather, a Pokémon’s genetic makeup and any natural variance in aptitude. Otherwise, though, yes, that’s more or less where we seem to be at the moment.

So… Pokérus.

Well, they describe it as a virus, which seems very odd since we normally think of viruses as malicious parasites, not as symbiotes, which the Pokérus clearly is – it dramatically improves a Pokémon’s ability to learn and grow. What this makes me think of is an evolutionary process that seems to have happened (it’s a rather difficult hypothesis to prove, but a lot of biologists like the idea) billions of years ago when the first cells were getting their start. See, in most plant and animal cells, there are little organelles (cell structures) that we use for breaking down complex chemicals to produce energy; these are called mitochondria. Plant cells also have another kind called a chloroplast, which is responsible for photosynthesis (storing light energy in complex chemicals so the mitochondria can break them down later). Anyway, here’s the thing: these structures reproduce on their own, independently of the rest of the cell, using their own DNA (fun fact – although your nuclear DNA is a mixture of your parents’, your mitochondrial DNA is an exact copy of your mother’s, a fact which is extremely useful to evolutionary biologists – look up ‘mitochondrial Eve’ some time). What this seems to suggest is that they were once completely independent organisms which were somehow swallowed up by larger cells and, instead of being digested or whatever, assimilated themselves into the larger cells and started trading services – energy for shelter. I think the Pokérus is an example of the same thing in progress. Give it another fifty million years, and all Pokémon will be born with it. For now, though, it’s an independent organism, barely capable of surviving on its own, that can insert itself into a Pokémon’s cells and, in exchange for a place to live, can streamline certain aspects of the way a Pokémon’s body functions. Pokérus can produce exotic hormones that enhance a Pokémon’s awareness and ability to process information and commit it to memory, enhancing its capacity to learn from the battles it fights (hence the doubling of received Effort points). Perhaps they even enhance a Pokémon’s connection with whatever weird sources of power they drawn on for their attacks.

Hmm… which might mean… hmm.

Are there any pokemon from the original Unova project that you would now change rescind your final verdict on, whether pass or fail?

Probably several… there are quite a few that I was indecisive about the first time, you see. For most of them, there are good points and bad points – I believe I even had one or two positive things to say about Emolga. I think you can probably tell by reading the entries which ones I was sure about and which ones I could have gone either way on, but… hmm…

I may have been too soft on Liepard, Haxorus, Cinccino, Stoutland and maybe Emboar.

Conversely, I may have been too hard on Druddigon, Krookodile, Musharna, Stunfisk and the Musketeer quartet.

And then there’s Garbodor, whom I still haven’t changed my mind about, though I grudgingly concede that he may not have deserved quite the level of vitriol I hurled at him in ‘11 (dear gods, I can’t say ‘last year’ anymore when talking about my Unova reviews…).

I almost think it may have been a mistake to use the ‘final verdict’ structure, since it detracts attention a little from the fact that, again, there are good points and bad points (well, for most of them anyway). Heatmor, for instance, has a wonderfully mad design, but happens to be terrible at fighting. Conversely, I’m not going to deny that Conkeldurr is strong, but I still don’t think we needed Conkeldurr and Machamp, and I remain convinced that the clown nose thing is appallingly stupid. It also fails to highlight just how much worse, say, Maractus is than Klinklang or Cryogonal. If I review every Pokémon in X and Y (do I have a choice?) I might choose a somewhat different format.

I’ve recently came up with a theory regarding the capture of pokemon. One of pokemon’s greatest questions is why you can’t capture a wild pokemon once it has “fainted”. What I’m thinking, though, is that it’s not that you can’t catch them, but that capturing a fainted pokemon is considered unethical in the pokemon universe. Probably because they’re in no condition to resist capture in that state which robs them of whatever rights people give pokemon. How solid would you say this theory is?

I think it’s so solid I wrote about it in October.

http://pokemaniacal.tumblr.com/post/34093585438/the-ethics-of-pokemon-training

I like Mawile’s design a lot but it also equally confuses me… I’m assuming the feminine side with the yellow… fur? Is that where her head is… or is the brain in the plant-trap looking thing? And why Steel Type when it looks plant-like? Anyway, my point is to ask what do you think about her history/biology? (is it biology when its a Steel Type?)

I actually really like Mawile as well. She’s one of the Pokémon I lump with Farfetch’d, Dunsparce and the like, where they’ve taken a really clever design, made it awful at everything, and then forgotten about it. Poor Mawile…

Anyway. I am led to understand that Mawile is probably based on an obscure Japanese monster – a woman with a second mouth growing out of the back of her head. Game Freak seem to have adapted the idea by combining it with the concept of an animal which uses markings or unusual appendages to appear larger or more threatening than it really is (unlike, say, Girafarig, Mawile doesn’t actually have two mouths; according to the Pokédex the extra ‘jaws’ are really horns). It’s a very fun, creative design, and I think it’s a shame Mawile had to… y’know… suck so much. In answer to your question, then, just ignore the big jaws – that’s what she wants you to focus on.

As for why they decided to make her a Steel-type… you know, I honestly have no idea. Her origins seem to fit with her being a Dark-type, and she’s portrayed consistently as a deceiver. The Pokédex very insistently describes her jaws/horns as being made of steel, but that seems like it was a later choice to justify the typing, not the reason for it. Quite aside from that, she has few typical Steel-type powers. I guess you could interpret it as Mawile deliberately cultivating the appearance of one type when she actually belongs to another, thus continuing the theme of deception and making it more difficult for her enemies to attack her.

When you speak of team types? What are some useful strategics?

When did I…?

Look, honestly, if you want strategic advice, the best suggestion I can give you is DON’T ASK ME. There are, like, a zillion people on the internet who are much better at that sort of thing than I am.

( my grammar might suck sorry ) what do you think of qwilfish? i know this is rota odd but do you think he is at all horrible i think he is one of the most boring pokemon ever i ask this because….well just because

What do I think of who?

Heh. Sorry, couldn’t resist.

Qwilfish is, quite honestly, one of the few Pokémon I have ever just forgotten about completely. Jim and I were looking through my Pokédex on Diamond a couple of years back and we found this empty spot and just stared at for about ten minutes before admitting we had no idea what the hell was supposed to go there. I don’t know that this is entirely Qwilfish’s fault. I think it’s largely because Game Freak have a tendency to hide him. He doesn’t evolve, he’s too strong to be available early, and too weak to be useful later on, so he kinda winds up being one of those random Easter Egg Pokémon that most people only go looking for because they notice an empty space in the Pokédex and can’t figure out why.

I mean, I know he’s, like, supposedly a really good (if somewhat bizarre) Spiker/Toxic Spiker on a rain team or whatever, but is there really anyone, anyone in the world, who has an empty spot on their team and their very first thought is “Qwilfish would be awesome here”?

The sad thing is that he’s actually based on a comparatively interesting fish; it’s just that Game Freak have fallen into the typical Water-type trap of simply translating a real animal into Pokémon game mechanics and then going no further with it. I don’t think he’s actually a Pokémon based on a porcupine fish at all; I think he’s legitimately just a porcupine fish. So I suppose he wins badass points for being usable at all, right?

Do you think that the X and Y legendaries could be based off on Norse Mythology? Look at the deer lookalike, the eagle lookalike, for the two realms. The third realm the underworld is a snake. MAybe Z = serpentine?

I feel I should make a general statement that my answer to any question of this kind about X and Y is going to be along the lines of “eh, whatever.”

I guess Yveltal, with the initial vocalic Y, does kinda sound like it could be Germanic or Nordic, but Xerneas doesn’t – I mean, I don’t really know anything about that language family but I’m not sure they even have an X sound, let alone words with an initial X. Honestly it feels like a Greek name to me. Also I just don’t think Yveltal looks like an eagle. Something in the shape of the head, and the feathery collar, just screams ‘vulture’ to me.

EDIT: Another reader adds the following:

“There aren’t two realms in Norse mythology what? There is an eagle on the world tree, but there were actually four deer and also a dragon and a raven. It’s likely not Norse-related just because there’s a deer and an eagle.”

I think the first person was referring to the old division of the universe into heaven, earth and the underworld, which is common across many cultures, although from what I recall of Norse mythology, they actually had *several* realms, including two heavens, at least two underworlds, and possibly more than one earth… although I’m very much a Greco-Roman fellow and it has been a long time since I read anything on the subject.

Also I’m sure I remember something about a squirrel that used to carry insults up and down the World Tree between the eagle and Nidhogg…

Do you think there’s some sort of in-joke with Froakie in X and Y? What I’m getting at is, Froakie is a frog, and the new region seems to be mostly based around Paris, France. And there’s a certain delicacy in France that Froakie just happens to be related to. You see where I’m getting with this? |3 So yeah, do you think that was intentional? (It’d be especially hilarious if Froakie’s later evolutions just happened to be chef themed. XD)

Well, not really, no.

I mean, don’t get me wrong; it’s far from impossible. I just think that the announcement of a new generation of Pokémon is invariably accompanied by an absurd amount of speculation based on remarkably little evidence, and I prefer to stay out of it. I suppose it would certainly be amusing. I think the French themselves find being called ‘frogs’ offensive (understandably enough) so they might have to be careful how they spin something like that. Also we don’t want to be tempting kids to eat their starters because that’s just bad for business.

What other pokemon items do you think about? I mean to list EVERY item you can give to a pokemon and how it actually works might be signing your death wish, but are any that you have a good idea for, or some that you hate to think about? My favorite is how the silk scarf apparently makes normal attack stronger

Eh. I think about Pokéballs because they’re so unmissably integral to how the setting works. How Pokéballs function has massive implications for the way Pokémon interact with humans, so I can’t really avoid the damn things. Other items, not so much.

I think a lot of those type-boosting items are probably viewed as either confidence boosters of some sort (the scarf, the Hard Stone, maybe the Charcoal), as directly increasing the potency of attacks in some way (the Poison Barb, possibly the Magnet) or as being actually magical – it’s a common belief, for instance, that the body parts of magical creatures are magical as well, and Dragon Pokémon are ridiculously magical, so one of their fangs could very well have some sort of talismanic properties; we’re probably supposed to imagine something similar regarding the Mystic Water pendant.

I suppose some of the others might have special properties because they’re made of materials unavailable in the real world, for instance, the glass in Choice Specs is made from the ground-up core of a Starmie and bends the light in such a way as to reveal the points of a Pokémon’s body most vulnerable to magical attacks, or a Choice Scarf is made from… I don’t know, like, an Alakazam’s moustache hair or something.

The sixteen Plates, which determine Arceus’ nature and powers, are probably important, but goodness knows how they work. In… *ahem*… that movie… Arceus is able to use all of the Plates he possesses at once, changing his type at will in order to block incoming attacks. I think the way we’re supposed to see it is that Arceus, in his natural state, belongs to all types, but is in a weakened and diminished form without the Plates, which contain a portion of his ‘essence’ and can be used as a source of power either by him or by any other Pokémon.

So, yeah. The answer is that for most items I don’t have a clue; don’t even ask about evolution stones (and don’t say ‘radiation’ because that isn’t an answer; that’s just more questions).