At last permitted to leave Aspertia City and Floccesy Town behind us, Jim and I head for Virbank City. Outside Floccesy Town, Cheren accosts us briefly to explain the significance of dark grass, something we remember perfectly well from Black and White, thank you very much. I decide to muck around in the area for a while to see if any new Pokémon will appear here that we haven’t seen elsewhere on the route, and I am rewarded with a Venipede. I add the spiky little bastard to my party, naming him Tyrion, and hang around to train him up a little. Jim, meanwhile, heads east into Virbank City, and fields a call from our Dear Mother. One of the other contacts available on our XTranceivers, Mother possesses an encyclopaedic knowledge of the Unova region and can tell us anything we might need to know about any area we visit. We prefer to avoid Mother because she is a controlling bitch queen, but she has decided to call us this time, since we simply must know about the Virbank Complex, an industrial sector in the south of the city which is, for no goodly reason, infested with wild Pokémon. The words ‘infested with wild Pokémon’ pique Jim’s interest, and he veers south to check the place out. On the way, he takes a moment to eavesdrop on a domestic disturbance between two of the locals. The captain who runs the ferry service to Castelia City is no longer fulfilling his duties, because he… has decided he would rather be a movie star. Yes. Well. Fair enough, I suppose, but it leaves us trapped in Virbank City. Well, we have Pokémon; we should be able to hijack a ship easily enough. Of course, there are other, far less important, people who are also trapped in Virbank City, and it is on their behalf that the captain’s loud, angry daughter is taking him to task. His daughter’s name is Roxie, and he has apparently been inspired by her – after all, she’s always managed to balance her passion for rock music with her responsibilities as a Gym Leader, so-
Wait, what?
Okay, all right. The punk chick is the Gym Leader. We can work with this.
I catch up with Jim as he tails Roxie to a small, dingy building in the middle of Virbank City. I open the door, revealing a dilapidated, poorly lit stairwell, and immediately stagger as I am hit by the stench of dried vomit. The faint sound of music wafts up from the basement. We have apparently followed Roxie to a seedy nightclub. Jim points out the Unova League insignia in flickering pink neon over the entrance, and the sign by the door which reads ‘Virbank City Pokémon Gym. Leader: Roxie. Poison days, poison on the stage!’ Poison in the air too, I think to myself, peering at the unidentifiable stains on the concrete floor. I shake my head firmly and hold up both of my palms in protest. Jim looks at me accusingly and points down the stairs. I hold my nose and continue shaking my head. Jim rolls his eyes, grabs me by the collar and drags me off to the Virbank Complex for some training.
The Virbank Complex seems to be an oil refinery, filled with tanks, distillation towers, and smokestacks. Naturally the game puts on its ‘educational’ hat at this point by introducing a scientist who wanders around the complex muttering explanations to himself about how all the different pieces of equipment work, and running away if anyone overhears him. As profoundly strange as this man is, I have to applaud the effort. I really do like it when Pokémon tries to do this sort of thing, just because I like entertainment to be educational on principle (if you’re clever, you can trick the kids into learning stuff without even realising it) but it’s not exactly subtle; it feels rather ‘pasted on.’ The Slateport Oceanic Museum in Ruby and Sapphire made a bit more sense, if only because oceanography is actually relevant to the plot of those games, and the Oreburgh coal mine in Diamond and Pearl was at least trying to integrate things into the game by using Pokémon workers. Anyway, in blatant defiance of any pollution the place might be pumping out, the Virbank Complex is overgrown with tall grass and teeming with many different species of wild Pokémon – offering us a perfect opportunity to beat some Pokémon up for their sweet, precious XPs. Most of our Pokémon evolve as we train here; first Sansa and Elisif become a pair of adorable Flaafy, then Jaime evolves into a feisty Dewott and Ulfric into a cunning Servine. Finally, almost unthinkably, Jim’s Riolu, Dovahkiin, evolves at a shockingly low level into a noble Lucario. We both decide to pick up Fire Pokémon while we’re here – Jim catches a Magby and names him Falk, while I find a Growlithe. Ruminating on names, I briefly consider Tywin, but reflect that my party is fast turning into Team Lannister, and settle instead on Barristan (I receive immediate confirmation that I chose correctly when my Growlithe’s nature turns out to be Bold). Suitably prepared for battle, we return to the filthy dive in which Roxie has chosen to make her Gym.
I stagger down the stairs holding my nose as Jim walks ahead trying to pretend he doesn’t know me. We come to the basement and enter what appears to be a studio owned by Roxie’s band. Roxie herself is up on the stage, eyes screwed shut, caressing her electric guitar, accompanied by a second guitarist and a drummer. I am forced to take my hand away from my nose to plug my ears as Jim clambers onto the stage to challenge Roxie, who is totally oblivious to the world outside her guitar. Jim looks down at me, shrugs, and goes to talk to her marginally more aware backup musicians. While he tries to get their attention, I haul myself onto the stage and, unable to take any more, push aside Roxie’s long white hair and scream in her ear, as loud as I can manage,
“YOUR MUSIC SUCKS!”
That gets her attention.
Tyrion, luckily, is quite as annoyed as I am. With the classic Defence Curl/Rollout combo, he manages within a few turns to build up enough force to smash Roxie’s Koffing. Now several turns into his Rollout, there’s no question of Roxie being able to do anything about him, and her poor Whirlipede is made to suffer the indignity of a one-shot knock-out from one of its own lesser cousins. Roxie indignantly throws a Toxic Badge at me and tells me to get the hell out of her Gym, before healing her Pokémon for the next challenger. Of course, with Dovahkiin now a Steel-type and therefore immune to all of Roxie’s most powerful Poison techniques, Jim’s challenge is quite as much a walkover as mine was, and we leave Roxie a broken wreck, sobbing over her guitar as her backup musicians give us dirty looks.
A man with brilliant yellow hair tails us as we leave, apparently anxious to speak to us. He is somewhat taken aback when I collapse, gasping for breath, on the street the moment we leave the noxious Gym, but to his credit presses on, telling us about the exciting new opportunity he wants to offer us at Pokéstar Studios in the north of Virbank City…
Pokémaniacal 