Anonymous asks:

How do you get the inspiration for the Nuzlocke character’s personalities?

I had a procedure, actually. I have ceased to follow it, because it got restrictive and I pulled better ideas out of the aether, but I used to have one. What I used to do was every time I caught a Pokémon I would use a random number generator to roll a D&D-style alignment for them (Lawful/Neutral/Chaotic + Good/Neutral/Evil) and that combined with their nature was their personality. Like, Ruby is Bold and Lawful Evil, which hopefully makes sense, and Spruce is Rash and Chaotic Good. Melissa was Jolly and I had no idea what to do with her until I rolled Lawful Neutral for her and thought “well, okay, obviously she needs to be in fanatical service to a terrifying amoral entity.” It made sense at the time. Luna was Impish and Chaotic Evil and come on that writes itself. Now though I mostly just do whatever works in the context of the story, because there’s enough already there that it’s a better source of inspiration than a random number generator. Usually I pester Jim the Editor about it and we talk about it and eventually I come up with something that’s at right angles to whatever either of us originally had in mind.

Oh, you’ve been in America for a while now, right? How do you like it? Is it as weird as television implies?

Eh. It’s fine. Everything is cheap. Including gin and tonic. But then, in Auckland everything is expensive so I don’t exactly have a good baseline. The thing about Americans is that they take everything very seriously and are extremely bad at sarcasm and irony, so you have to be careful what you say to them. Which is also a good thing sometimes, because you can actually make Americans care about things, bless them, where New Zealanders are just like “she’ll be right mate” and remain stunningly apathetic.

If you could go back in time to try to save the Moa, Haast’s eagle, Megalania or any of the other megafauna from extinction, how would you do it? Would you actually even want to?

YES obviously I would, because do you even know how disappointing it is to have to explain to Americans that New Zealand used to have giant eagles just like in Lord of the Rings but they’ve been extinct for hundreds of years? There was, like, an article in the news a while back, here it is http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11360081 because one of our politicians made an offhand remark about “the moa being a goer” or something, and everyone laughed at him because no one is used to the idea of this actually being possible, but maybe in ten or twenty years or so it really will be? Anyway I love this article because its assessment of Haast’s Eagle is “not an ideal candidate, as its prey was large bipedal ground-dwelling animals.” Which is obviously chickening out. Pffffft.

I don’t know how I’d do it; you’re the one with the time machine or whatever; that’s your job.

Verrrry tipsy

Okay, Tumblr, I’ve had three gin and tonics and I have an incredibly low alcohol tolerance because I don’t drink very often, so LET’S SEE IF I CAN MAKE POKÈMON SUDDENLY MAKE SENSE NOW; SEND ME YOUR QUESTIONS (also I apologise to the three people who’ve sent me questions in the last week expecting a sober answer; YOU’LL TAKE WHAT YOU’RE GIVEN)

In light of this ‘waifu’ question, I was just wondering, what do you think is the strangest question you’ve been asked?

Oh, believe me, once I understood what it meant, the waifu question wasn’t even in the running.

Q: What are my orders supreme overlord.
A: The moon is dark, my brother. Ptolemy has failed us, and the swallow has taken flight. You must find the hidden bishop and take the last of the salt flowers. Our eyes are closed against the north wind, so do not tempt the serpent until daybreak. Remember – the white goat stalks the plains in summer.

Q: What’s a Nintendo?
A: A little-known and extremely rare Electric/Steel evolution of male Nidoran.

Q: you sick fuck how could you do this pokemon
A: Honoured reader, you stir my curiosity; the extent of my crimes is boundless, but my comprehension of them is not, and I believe this is the first time I’ve had a reaction so… visceral. In short… you’re going to need to be much more specific.

Which was followed immediately by…

Q: dont pretend you dont know you bitch
A: No, seriously, like, I’m sure I’ve done loads of things to legit piss you off but I have no idea which one(s) you’re talking about. I eagerly await a list of your specific grievances.

I’m still waiting for that list, incidentally.

Q: Are you a hamster?
A: <_<
>_>
…no…

Q: Do you enjoy the taste of the flesh of human children?
A: Eurgh! That, anonymous grey sphere, is disgusting, and quite frankly I am appalled at your tastelessness.
Everyone knows that teenagers have much more complex and mature flavours, without the sinewy texture of the elderly.

Q: would you?
A: Good lord, no.
For one thing, I don’t own a candyfloss machine, and there are no snakes in New Zealand anyway.

The first question I ever received on Tumblr…

Q: Fuck you Totodile is awesome your opinion is wrong
A: I have seen the light. Your piercing insight has convinced me that Totodile is, in fact, the best-designed Pokémon of all time.

And perhaps the all-time winner…

Q: why the hell did you eat all the pancakes you bloody fool why i have a right mind to smack across the face!
A: Those were MY PANCAKES and I had EVERY RIGHT TO EAT THEM, as well you know, and you can tell Jim that he will get his maple syrup back when he apologises for getting my Nidorina drunk last Christmas and pays that poor family for their ham and tree!

I do rather enjoy receiving and answering questions, even if I sometimes take a week or longer to get around to it. I’d like to take a moment to thank everyone who’s sent them in over these three and a bit years – they always help to reassure me that someone out there is actually listening to me when I shout at the internet, which is what makes it all worthwhile for a small-time blogger like me. Keep sending ‘em in – yes, even the weird ones!

I love your X nuzlock, pray tell, is golett’s mannerisms based on the HK units from KOTOR? And is Martial based on the wookie’s life debt? If so, then these decisions shall herald an even grander story to come…

Yes and no. I wanted to make Pygmalion sound ‘robotic;’ the similarity to the way HK-47 speaks only occurred to me as I was partway through writing the scene. I considered playing up the resemblance, but decided against it, since the character isn’t really supposed to be similar at all (besides, it is impossible to faithfully imitate HK-47, and any attempt to do so would be sacrilege). Likewise, the phrase “life debt” comes from Star Wars (or at least I don’t think it’s used anywhere else that’s terribly well-known), but is mostly just a convenient way of expressing a concept that exists elsewhere in literature – Martial literally owes Spruce his life.

Since you were talking about Ransei earlier I thought I’d mention that, due to the presence of Mewtwo and a rather… eclectic technology level, my brother and I have come to the conclusion that Ransei is a modern region just like any other in the Pokemon world that has, through either choice or geography, stayed isolated from the outside world and kept their own way of doing things (ie Links instead of Pokeballs, Kingdoms instead of Gyms.) (Also 100% recommend Conquest, it is quite addictive.)

Well, I suppose that degree of isolationism certainly wouldn’t be out of place. The various spin-off games do present regions with rather different cultures to what the core games give us, like Orre and Almia. On the other hand, the use of characters based on figures from Japanese history, like Oda Nobunaga, makes me feel that we’re ‘supposed’ to think of it as being set in the past. Hmm. Dunno. Maybe one of these days I’ll have time to play it.

X Nuzlocke, episode 6: Between a Rock and a Holy Place

Route 8

Ruby: Look, human, just give me the Holo-Caster and- good. Thank you. Now leave me the hell alone; I have a call to make. Let’s see… ah; here we are…
Lavoisier: Ruby! You look… different.
Ruby: As do you. Evolution is treating you well, I hope?
Lavoisier: Weeeell, I’ve lost some of my boyish good looks, but I got some really sweet dragon powers, and I can reach the textbooks on the third shelf now, so I’m not gonna complain! Anyway… what do you need?
Ruby: What do I need? Can’t a girl place a holo-call just to chat with her little brother?
Lavoisier: …sure, but you wouldn’t.
Ruby: Mmm. Point taken. All right; I need more leads. I tracked down the second Mega Stone you pointed me to, and the results were quite interesting.
Lavoisier: Interesting, as in…? [sigh] How many people died, Ruby?
Ruby: To my knowledge, the net deaths resulting from the experiment were zero.
Lavoisier: That’s… that’s a concerningly specific answer, sis.
Ruby: Would I lie?
Lavoisier: Yes.
Ruby: To you?
Lavoisier: Possibly.
Ruby: …again, point taken. Anyway, where can I find more stones?
Lavoisier: Ruby, I have no idea. We’ve just barely finished repairing the lab, and we’ve been having… other problems. Disappearances, and… Look, hunting for references to the location of Mega Stones is just not something I have time for right now.
Ruby: Hmm. That’s unfortunate. You haven’t heard rumours about any other sorcerous artefacts, have you? I could always return to Lumiose City and take a look at your library myself, I suppose…
Lavoisier: [alarmed] No! Uh… I mean… no, there’s no need for that. I, uh… if you want to pursue information on the Mega Stones yourself, you… could go to Geosenge Town. I guess.
Ruby: The hick town up north? Why?
Lavoisier: Well, I used to sort of know a couple of Pokémon who are there at the moment and… could help you. Maybe. Experts on the Mega Stones, who know a lot more than me about what they’re actually for.
Ruby: We know what they’re for. They’re incredible sources of arcane power.
Lavoisier: Okay, but you know you’re supposed to use them together with your human, right?
Ruby: What, that idiot? [points at Chris] If that primate gets his hands on anything remotely resembling a magical artefact, he’ll vaporise himself in seconds. I wouldn’t terribly mind that, of course, except that there’s a good chance he would take me with him.
Lavoisier: I… see. Well, you could at least try Geosenge Town. Look for two Lucario. Their names are Amaldos and Lelanthion.
Ruby: I suppose that will have to do. It’s better than nothing, anyway.
Lavoisier: You’re welcome, Ruby.

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I’m the dude responsible for the “waifu” question. Sorry for not offering an explanation of the term; it had certainly occurred to me that you might be unfamiliar with it, but honestly, was it too much trouble to simply Google “waifu?” Anyways, the gist of what I was asking was, “what [human] Pokémon character (female OR male, of course) do you find most attractive?” And if you happen to be asexual and/or aromantic, then which one would you like to at least be acquainted with in real life?

I… did Google “waifu.” It… it didn’t really help.

But yeah, um. I’m normally into dudes but honestly it never really occurred to me to rate any Pokémon characters in terms of their attractiveness. Since you bring it up I guess anime Cilan would be kinda chill to hang out with. I would eventually smack him over the head with a frying pan when I got sick of his constant goddamn food puns but until then we would bake together which would be nice.

Having said that I do unashamedly ship Ash and Richie in defiance of all logic and common sense.

As an academic-in-training, what pokemon do you think you would benefit most from befriending in real life and why?

Well, I’ve been asked a couple of times which Pokémon I would most like to have in real life, and my usual answer – Claydol – was chosen at least partially because I think it’d be really handy to have on an archaeological dig. I think Claydol would still be my first choice, but since you asked, and that’s a bit of a cop-out, let’s pick another one. Hmm. How about Xatu? I pick Xatu solely for her ability to see into the past. This would almost certainly not work as advertised, and would be far more complicated and fallible than one might hope, even assuming Xatu is able to communicate her visions effectively to humans. On the other hand, she can see into the past. It almost doesn’t even matter what conditions there are on that ability; it’s still a totally new perspective from which to derive information about past people and cultures. As far as I’m concerned, that’s a win, even if it takes decades to figure out a way to ensure the information’s reliability.