One lunatic's love-hate relationship with the Pokémon franchise, and his addled musings on its rights, wrongs, ins and outs. Come one, come all, and indulge my delusions of grandeur as I inflict my opinions on anyone within shouting distance.
And Game Freak said “let there be Klefki,” and old school Pokémon fans around the world cried out “the $#!t is this?” and “why is there a f@#%ing keyring Pokémon?” and “OMG Pokemans ruined 5evah.” And Game Freak said “YOLO,” for they felt that it was good.
Continue reading “Klefki”
Right; I’m going to leave Carbink for now and do her with Diancie at the end, by which time I’ll hopefully be clearer on how they work, so that leaves only one Pokémon in the Coastal Kalos subregion: Hawlucha, the… lucha libre Pokémon… which is another one stricken from the list of phrases I never thought I would live to say. Game Freak are responsible for a disconcerting number of those. Funnily enough, though, Hawlucha’s been making more and more sense the more time I spend on this entry, and may even be one of my favourites of this generation now, which I didn’t really expect. Let’s have a look.
Continue reading “Hawlucha”
Now that I think about it, it’s kind of strange that there aren’t really many Electric Pokémon based on real-world methods of electricity generation; for the most part they just conjure up electrical energy through – one presumes – a similar kind of biochemical process to that used by the electric eel, only turned up to eleven. Well, either that or magic. Let’s be honest; for at least some of them it’s probably magic.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Helioptile.
Continue reading “Helioptile and Heliolisk”
I’ll be honest here; I’m not wild about these things. My first impression of Skrelp during my X playthrough was ‘so, it’s a diseased Horsea?’ and I’ve not really moved past that in any major way (the fact that Dragalge is equally, at first glance, ‘a diseased Kingdra’ didn’t exactly help). Nothing about them really offends me in any sense, but they’re not particularly ones for the ‘favourite’ pile either. Still, may as well see what we can turn up. Here we go.
Continue reading “Skrelp and Dragalge”
Well, this one’s just weird. Don’t get me wrong, though – sometimes weird is really good, and this, I think, is the case with the latest additions to the stable of Rock/Water Pokémon, Binacle and Barbaracle. I have to admit, when I idly dreamed in the lead-up to X and Y about what kinds of animals or plants I would have liked to see Pokémon based on, barnacles were not exactly top of the list. But hey, whatever works.
Continue reading “Binacle and Barbaracle”
And another one from Skarmorysilver, who challenged me to come up with the damn thing in the first place!
RAIDENNE (Raiden [Thunder and lightning in Japanese]+Antenne [Antenna in French])
THIS IS A WIP. THE FULL POKEDEX WILL BE AVAILABLE LATER.
Thought I’d make a quick little something for pokemaniacal! The story here is that I challenged him to try and redeem one of his least favorite Pokemon from X and Y, Dedenne, into something genuinely creative. He came up with a Robin Hood-style folk hero with a tail like a bowstring, so I decided to go and put it on paper. There’s a bit of jerboa in the evolved form as well, just because it sounds like “gerbil”. The shiny colors are the same as Dedenne’s except with a darker shade of brown, cream instead of orange, and Robin Hood-style green instead of red.
I was actually going to look for some Japanese folk heroes to use as a source for the name, but the pun on characters named Raiden was too good to ignore. XD
I will it, and the internet makes it so! Many thanks to Z-Nogyrop for the creation of more awesomeness!
Oh no I did a thiiiiiiiing
Dendatic- Zap Arrow Pokemon
Stats-
HP- 87
Attack- 68
Defense- 77
Sp. Attack- 101
Sp. Def- 87
Speed- 121
New Moves- Flash Cannon, Zap Cannon, Pin Missile, Flamethrower, Nature Power, Focus Blast, Dazzling Gleam (remind me again why dedenne doesn’t already learn this), Signal Beam, Me First, Assist, Dark Pulse, Trick, Magic Arrow*
*Fairy, 90 power (because signature moves should always be better than their normal equivalents- I LOOK AT YOU, ZYGARDE), 100 accuracy, 10 PP, special, hits target’s physical defense
Same abilities, though I was kind of tempted to ditch Pickup for Mega Launcher.
Anyway this probably wasn’t exactly what you were looking for, but SCREW IT, I like it. Pin Missile is useless but flavourful, since, y’know, arrows. Zap Cannon was to have an Electric move that could be justified with the whole arrow-launching thing, Dark Pulse is in the same vein, Signal Beam because every other Electric-type (except Pachirisu, for some reason) learns it, Trick because I imagine this guy being pretty tricky, plus Dedenne already learns Thief and Covet. The name is up for changes, but I like it.
…
I’m going to close my eyes and count to three. When I open them, I will be reviewing a Pokémon who is not Dedenne.
One… two… three.
…
F@#%nuggets.
Continue reading “Dedenne”
DID SOMEONE SAY MORE DINOSAURS OH BY THE GODS I HOPE THEY DID
F#$% YES
*Ahem*
…where were we?
Continue reading “Tyrunt and Tyrantrum”
DINOSAURS
YES
I think everyone has a dinosaur phase, right? Mine was… longer and more educationally rigorous than most, put it that way (my parents claim to this day that my first words as a baby were not the traditional ‘mama’ and ‘papa’ but the often tongue-twisting names of dinosaur species). There actually aren’t all that many Pokémon who seem to be based primarily on dinosaurs, funnily enough, although several of the big superstar ones are represented: we have ceratopids (Shieldon and Bastiodon), pachycephalosaurs (Cranidos and Rampardos), sauropods (Bayleef and Meganium, Tropius), and of course the famous birdlike theropod Archaeopteryx (Archen and Archeops). There are also a bunch of Pokémon that are probably influenced by dinosaurs, like Tyranitar, who seems to be a tyrannosaur via Godzilla, Charmeleon, who has shades of a small theropod, Torterra, who owes as much to ankylosaurs as to tortoises, and Bulbasaur, who… well, to be honest I don’t think even Game Freak really know exactly what Bulbasaur is but the –saur suffix definitely strikes a particular note. X and Y give us two more fossils: the brutal tyrannosaurs Tyrunt and Tyrantrum, and these two loveable goofs. I probably wouldn’t have chosen another sauropod, myself – I kind of want to see a hadrosaur – but I’m not about to complain about more dinosaurs, so here we go.
Continue reading “Amaura and Aurorus”
Pokémaniacal 