Route 3

Melissa: Here it is; here it is!  This is the end of the forest!
Spruce: Santalune City should be right over this next ridge.
Ruby: About time.  Human, let- put me- let go of me, idiot!  Ah!  Finally.
Melissa: Come on, come on!  We need to hurry!
Ruby: What’s the rush?  You two have all day tomorrow to do your… quest thing or whatever and indulge your delusions of adequacy.
Melissa: Oh, I know, but it’s so important and so exciting!
Spruce: Maybe you should just tell us more about who we’re fighting?
Ruby: Yes, please do; what you’ve told us so far has been so excruciatingly riveting.
Melissa: She’s an evil, evil witch with a Vivillon who lures Bug Pokémon away from the forest by promising to make them stronger and takes them away from the hive!  They just want to make all the Bug Pokémon in the Santalune Forest into their slaves!
Spruce: Why would anyone do something like that?
Melissa: I don’t know, but we have to stop them!  If the hive gets weaker none of us will know what to do anymore!  The hive is our whole life!
Fletchling: ‘scuse me, mates, couldn’t ‘elp but over’ear…
Melissa: Who said that?
Fletchling: I did.  Up ‘ere.  And if you don’t mind my say so, sounds like you might be in need of some muscle for ‘ire.
Ruby: Hmm… come down here where I can see you properly, bird.
Fletchling: No problem at all.  Bodkin’s the name.  You need air support, I’m your bloke – long as you got the dough for it.  Looks like you already got yourself a bird on your team though.  Doin’ all right there, mate?
Spruce: Uh… fine, thanks.
Bodkin: ‘oo’s in charge ‘ere, then?  You got a trainer, looks like.
Ruby: Oh, for- Ignore the ape!  Really, why would anyone pay the slightest attention to him with such a vision of incandescent power as myself in view?
Bodkin: And ‘oo are you then, guv’nor?
Ruby: I am Ruby the Fennekin, fiery jewel among Pokémon, sorceress supreme!  Perhaps you’ve heard of me?
Bodkin: [staring] …you what?
Ruby: [sighs] It was worth a try.
Bodkin: ‘ey, I’m sure you’re a great celebrity in other parts, but I’m only an ‘umble mercenary.  I dunno nothin’ about sorceresses and the like.  Like I said, though, sounds to me like you’re lookin’ to challenge the Santalune Gym.  Ain’t nothin’ better than a quick Flying-type to ‘elp you clean that place out.
Ruby: What’s the catch?
Bodkin: Well, like I said, I’m a bit of a materialist, luv.  I’ll fight wherever, whenever and ‘ooever you want, but you gotta meet my fee.  Two evolutionary stones and a nugget, all in advance.
Spruce: That’s a bit steep!
Bodkin: Heh.  What’s she payin’ you, mate?
Spruce: I- she’s not paying me anything!  I’m here to go on adventures, help people, and do good things!
Bodkin: Hah!  Seriously?  Well, aren’t you adorable?  And what about the crispy little luncheon roll ‘ere?
Melissa: [giggles] I might be a meal for you, but whole flocks of you would be just a snack for the hive.
Bodkin: …uh… h’okay, then.  Um. [to Ruby] Well, luv?  What’s it to be?
Ruby: Two evolutionary stones and a nugget.  Hmm.  Would you accept, say… a frosted Poké Puff and this Pidgey?
Spruce: Wait, what?
Bodkin: Hah!  That’s a good one, luv!  Mind you… [glances at Spruce] Mmm… tempting… but no, no can do.
Spruce: Wait, what?
Bodkin: Tell you what; you made me laugh, so forget the stones.  I ain’t got the contacts to sell ‘em at the moment anyway.  That’s my best price, that is.
Ruby: Regrettably I… find myself a little short on nuggets at the moment.  Along with most of the other trappings of power… like competent inferiors…
Bodkin: That’s a right bleedin’ shame, that is.  Well, if we ain’t got no business, I’d best be off, then – but you remember my name.  Might be useful if you come into a bit o’ cash, eh?
Ruby: Mmm.  Quite.
Bodkin: Until next time!
Spruce: It was nice meeting you!
Bodkin: And yourself, mate.  You look me up if you’re ever around ‘ere and fancy a bit o’ fun, yeah? [winks]
Spruce: …I am so confused.