The Dag asks:

Who would win in a dance-off? Ludicolo, Oricorio, Bellossom, Sudowoodo, Maractus, Jynx, or you?

Okay, so, the easy part first: I cannot dance, and I come dead last.  I will, however, sabotage all the other contestants by spiking their drinks.  I’m not trying to tip the competition towards anyone in particular; I just think it would be hilarious.

Now, what are the dance skills of all these Pokémon like?

Continue reading “The Dag asks:”


Some days I get to talk about Pokémon that are just really awesome.  Whether by design, or mechanics, or the way the mechanics fit the design, or some other little twist – because Game Freak do still make Pokémon like this.  That’s the real reason for this blog, actually; I realise I probably give the impression that I’m here primarily to bitch about Pokémon that aren’t up to standard, but remember that I do still play these games and love them.  That’s right, Game Freak, I’m on your side.  I’m here to answer the people who complain that Pokémon has been going downhill since Gold and Silver (or since Ruby and Sapphire, or whatever, there’s a batch of ‘em for every generation).  And some days, I get to do just that.

Other days I get Maractus.

9e338-maractusMaractus is a dancing cactus.  It could be worse; in much the same way that destitution could be worse, because at least you don’t have the plague yet.  We’ve had “dancing plant” before, and we’ve had “cactus” before, but Maractus is so different from the last cactus that I’m sort of willing to let her off on that one.  Cacturne, her predecessor, was a sinister nocturnal hunter whose purpose in existence is to remind you what a scary place the desert is – and in my opinion, he did that pretty well.  Maractus is a bright, happy diurnal performer, and on some level I can’t help but be annoyed by making a desert Pokémon so unrelentingly cheerful.  Continue reading “Maractus”