One lunatic's love-hate relationship with the Pokémon franchise, and his addled musings on its rights, wrongs, ins and outs. Come one, come all, and indulge my delusions of grandeur as I inflict my opinions on anyone within shouting distance.
What do you want to do tomorrow? – Explore the deep forest.
Part of you wants to focus on getting to Pewter City so you can get that whole gym challenge thing back on track after your frustrating false start in Viridian City. On the other hand, though… this forest is fascinating to you. People in Viridian City called it a “natural maze” because of the way the vegetation swallows any artificial path that isn’t constantly maintained, leaving a tangled mess of Pokémon migration paths, treefall clearings and hill crests as the only real landmarks. No one alive really knows Viridian Forest, and even your new friends who’ve spent time here before are only truly familiar with a small part of the southern reaches. Still, with your scientific knowledge, their wilderness skills and a bit of luck, you’re confident you can map out a sector of the forest and gain some valuable data about the ecosystem – maybe even find a cool new Pokémon or some kind of, like, lost treasure or whatever. You all pack up your gear and set off northward, most of your Pokémon out of their balls and playing together as you move.
How do you approach your first battle? – Play it safe and wear them out with Leech Seed
pretty confident you know all the angles here.
You and whatshisname are both using Pokémon you just met, and won’t be
able to try any funny business. Squirtle
is tougher than Bulbasaur thanks to its shell that it can hide inside at will,
so if they have any sense they’ll try to outlast your Grass attacks and then
counterattack with a shell slam or something.
But there’s an easy way to keep that from working…
order, the bulb on your Pokémon’s back pulses and fires a single glowing yellow
seed that arcs through the air towards Squirtle. The turtle Pokémon reacts instantly by
dropping to the floor and pulling its head and all its limbs into its shell,
quick as you can blink, but that won’t stop a Leech Seed. It hits Squirtle’s shell, sticks, and
immediately sprouts a web of green that grows with supernatural speed, climbing
around and into the shell. The other guy
is pretty shaken; you don’t think he’s actually seen this attack before. He manages to call counterattacks, and
Squirtle is able to fire Bubbles that knock your Bulbasaur off its feet, but
it’s no good. Water attacks deal only
superficial damage to Grass-types, the Leech Seed is gradually sapping
Squirtle’s strength, and all Bulbasaur has to do is use its vines to parry
attacks and occasionally lash out whenever Squirtle emerges from its shell for
too long. Eventually, Squirtle sinks to
its knees, too weak to go on attacking, and Professor Oak calls an end to the
The day has finally come! Having reached at last the ripe old age of [data not found], you are ready to leave Pallet Town all on your own and quest for glory! A Pokémon trainer is you! Your Pokémon legend is about to unfold! Y’know, unless you get lost in the woods and starve to death. That can happen. I knew a guy once who that happened to. Poor Larry. Rest in peace, man.
Whatever, whatever. You’ve gotta be at Professor Oak’s lab, kid! You don’t want that other jerk to get a head start on you!
Remember, kid: this journey’s gonna be all about choices. It’s a crazy world and it’s easy to run out of time, so you won’t always have a chance to go back and try everything, and you gotta make your decisions carefully. Sometimes, especially if you get in a fight, you can try something that won’t be guaranteed to work, and you’ll have to use your head to decide what the best choice is. But remember: trying new things and being creative probably won’t get you killed! Larry… Larry was a special case; he was pretty dumb.
Oh, right; I was supposed to read the script. Uh, something something, dreams and adventures, blah blah, let’s get going!
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