One lunatic's love-hate relationship with the Pokémon franchise, and his addled musings on its rights, wrongs, ins and outs. Come one, come all, and indulge my delusions of grandeur as I inflict my opinions on anyone within shouting distance.
You like old stuff, right? What are your thoughts on fossil pokemon?
archaeologists take pains to point out that we do not study fossils (it’s a surprisingly common mistake). Not all “old stuff” is similarly old (unless
you listen to certain ill-advised religious sects); I deal in the
hundreds/thousands of years range, not millions/tens of millions. Fossils are about as much my professional
area of expertise as the moons of Jupiter are an airline pilot’s.
…as it happens,
though, I am independently a layman dinosaur
nerd with a basic knowledge of evolutionary biology, and I was a sufficiently
weird kid that, when I started school, I wanted to be not a fireman or an
astronaut but a palaeontologist. So
LET’S TALK FOSSILS.
If you look at serebii’s latest episode pictures, Tyrunt is really really big. It’s like, six times larger than Dedenne.
That… sounds about right to me. Tyrunt’s height is listed in the Pokédex as about 80 cm, and if that’s height at the shoulder, which seems likely, he’s probably over a metre long. Dedenne is only 20 cm from head to toe.
Ruby: Look, human, just give me the Holo-Caster and- good. Thank you. Now leave me the hell alone; I have a call to make. Let’s see… ah; here we are… Lavoisier: Ruby! You look… different. Ruby: As do you. Evolution is treating you well, I hope? Lavoisier: Weeeell, I’ve lost some of my boyish good looks, but I got some really sweet dragon powers, and I can reach the textbooks on the third shelf now, so I’m not gonna complain! Anyway… what do you need? Ruby: What do I need? Can’t a girl place a holo-call just to chat with her little brother? Lavoisier: …sure, but you wouldn’t. Ruby: Mmm. Point taken. All right; I need more leads. I tracked down the second Mega Stone you pointed me to, and the results were quite interesting. Lavoisier: Interesting, as in…? [sigh] How many people died, Ruby? Ruby: To my knowledge, the net deaths resulting from the experiment were zero. Lavoisier: That’s… that’s a concerningly specific answer, sis. Ruby: Would I lie? Lavoisier: Yes. Ruby: To you? Lavoisier: Possibly. Ruby: …again, point taken. Anyway, where can I find more stones? Lavoisier: Ruby, I have no idea. We’ve just barely finished repairing the lab, and we’ve been having… other problems. Disappearances, and… Look, hunting for references to the location of Mega Stones is just not something I have time for right now. Ruby: Hmm. That’s unfortunate. You haven’t heard rumours about any other sorcerous artefacts, have you? I could always return to Lumiose City and take a look at your library myself, I suppose… Lavoisier: [alarmed] No! Uh… I mean… no, there’s no need for that. I, uh… if you want to pursue information on the Mega Stones yourself, you… could go to Geosenge Town. I guess. Ruby: The hick town up north? Why? Lavoisier: Well, I used to sort of know a couple of Pokémon who are there at the moment and… could help you. Maybe. Experts on the Mega Stones, who know a lot more than me about what they’re actually for. Ruby: We know what they’re for. They’re incredible sources of arcane power. Lavoisier: Okay, but you know you’re supposed to use them together with your human, right? Ruby: What, that idiot? [points at Chris] If that primate gets his hands on anything remotely resembling a magical artefact, he’ll vaporise himself in seconds. I wouldn’t terribly mind that, of course, except that there’s a good chance he would take me with him. Lavoisier: I… see. Well, you could at least try Geosenge Town. Look for two Lucario. Their names are Amaldos and Lelanthion. Ruby: I suppose that will have to do. It’s better than nothing, anyway. Lavoisier: You’re welcome, Ruby.
A deep, dark cave filled with beautiful blue and green crystal formations, the Glittering Cave is a treacherous place – you move through it in a first-person perspective, so you can only see what’s right in front of you, making it a lot more difficult to keep track of exactly where you are (luckily, the tunnel systems aren’t that complicated, but this could get tricky if a similar perspective is deployed for, say, Victory Road…).