Route 2

Ruby: You there!  You, Pidgey!
Pidgey: Me?
Ruby: Do you see another Pidgey around here?  Yes, you!  My human and I require directions to the Santalune Forest.  Quickly now!
Pidgey: Oh- the entrance to the main trail is right over that way; you just turn left at the rock that looks like a dead Zigzagoon and you can’t miss it.
Ruby: Mmm.  Adequate.  Thank you for your time, commoner.  Come, human.
Pidgey: Um!  Wait a minute!  Excuse me!
Ruby: Yes, what is it?
Pidgey: Um, excuse me, but – human, are you- are you a trainer?
Ruby: He is; what of it?
Pidgey: You’re not, um… you’re not looking for Pokémon for your team at all, are you?
Ruby: He… might be.
Pidgey: Oh, wow; this is so amazing!  I- I can help you!  I can!  I-
Ruby: No, look, ignore the human.  The human is an idiot.  He can’t even understand us.  Get down here.  I said down here!  Stop fluttering about like that!
Pidgey: Sorry, sorry.  This is all just so exciting!
Ruby: Yes, well, I suppose it’s not every day that one meets such an exquisite specimen of Pokémonhood as myself.  You are forgiven, commoner.  Tell me your name.
Pidgey: My name is Spruce!  I’m a Pidgey and I live right here on the edges of Santalune Forest and I’ve always wanted to go with a human trainer and grow big and strong and maybe even evolve one day so I can travel and do good things and help people and it’d be so cool if I could go with you and your trainer and do all of those things!
Ruby: Really.  How quaint.
Spruce: What about you?  What’s your name?
Ruby: I?  I am Ruby the Fennekin, fiery jewel among Pokémon, sorceress supreme!  Perhaps you’ve heard of me.
Spruce: Er… yes.  Oh, yes; I recognise you now!  Of course I have!
Ruby: Ah; then you know of my battle against the dread Raticate King?
Spruce: Well, yeah!
Ruby: And you have heard the story of my dramatic victory in the Tournament of Sapphires?
Spruce: Who hasn’t?
Ruby: And perhaps you are even familiar with how I liberated the Pokémon of Kanto from the oppression of Team Rocket?
Spruce: That’s my favourite one of the lot!
Ruby: [narrowing her eyes] I’ve never done any of those things.
Spruce: …oh.
Ruby: You’ve never actually heard of me, have you?
Spruce: Well… well, not- not exactly, no.  But they do say that flattery is the sincerest form of- um… something!
Ruby: [sighs] Quite.
Spruce: And- and I still really do want to join you!  And help others and do good things!
Ruby: Look, when you say ‘others,’ are you prepared for those ‘others’ to be me?  And when you say ‘good things’ are you prepared for that to mean things that are good for me?
Spruce: Sure!  We all have to help each other in the world, right?  That way we can all make the world a better place together and-
Ruby: Yeah, yeah, whatever; look, just remember, you work for me, not the human, is that clear?
Spruce: Sure thing!  You can count on me, Ruby!
Ruby: Then so it shall be!  Human!  DEPLOY YOUR SORCEROUS ORB!

Continue reading “X Nuzlocke, episode 1: Fiery Jewel Among Pokémon, Sorceress Supreme” →