uh… nothing is on fire… none of the Pokémon are dead… the horrors of the space between the stars are quiet… I need to buy milk tomorrow but I can probably remember to do that… things are good! I think!
Y’know, there is something weirdly addictive about the WordPress stats page. Day by day, hour by hour, the figures go up, and some number of people are paying attention to my deranged claptrap, fuelling my long, slow and inevitable descent into crippling narcissism.
Numbers are down from March, but March was sort of an anomaly because it started with the announcement of generation VIII and simultaneously I got a bunch of extra visitors because of that ridiculous cake I made (now that was a hell of a week), and we’re definitely up from February by… like… some amount. I tried to estimate the size of my regular audience, which is a hard thing to do because my understanding of statistics basically extends to knowing what a factorial is, how to make graphs in Excel, and something about the distribution of fish. I reckon, though, that my numbers are… let’s say consistent with a core audience of 200-300 people. That’s not big time internet celebrity numbers, I admit, but honestly it’s like 190 more people than it would take for me to think this is worth doing. There’s this line of Seneca that I think is apropos (or Seneca quoting a lost work of Epicurus, so I’m quoting a quotation of a literal lost ancient scroll of forgotten wisdom here), haec ego non multis sed tibi, satis enim magnum alter alteri theatrum sumus, which is Latin for “fµ¢£ your subscriber count; my readers are the best.”
The other thing that’s cool is I can see where in the world everyone is from. The US is about 60%, which is not terribly surprising because the US is about 60% of the internet, and Canada, the UK and Australia make up most of the rest, which is not really a shock because I write in English (FOR NOW; 日本語も勉強します). New Zealand… look, New Zealand, fair’s fair; I know I was exiled for a good reason but it’s been over five years and those astrologers would probably have been dead by now anyway, so you could give me a little more support. Who else is going to represent us on the world stage, if not a slightly unhinged and terminally gay classicist/video game haruspex?
(…don’t answer that)
The other countries that consistently show up in the stats are the Netherlands, Germany, Brazil and Czechia (this is the most surprising one; I definitely have a handful of really dedicated Czech readers, and I’m certain they’re wonderful, but I have no idea who they are or how they found me). Post where you’re from in the comments! (And if you’re from the US, tell me which state, because WordPress doesn’t record that and I’m curious)
This month I look forward to knocking out the last few Ultra Beasts and finally entering the home stretch of generation VII Pokémon reviews! Upcoming question topics include a design for a hypothetical Togedemaru evolution, Nuzlockes and other challenge playthroughs, the hypothetical culture shock of moving from the Pokémon world to the real world, and the Battle Bond ability.
Special thanks, as always, to my wonderful Patreon supporters (five of them now!) Bradley, James Crooks, hugh_donnetono, Esserise and Hamish Fyfe. Their support covers the cost of living here on WordPress, and I’m getting enough now that I think I can justify moving to WordPress Premium in the near future, unlocking some actual meaningful customisation for the site that isn’t just picking from a list of predefined themes. Slowly but surely, this will become the most powerful blog in the world, and togETHER WE SHALL CONQUER THE INTERWEBS