The Babadook asks:

In celebration of Pride what’s your ideal queer-themed team? Include nature’s, movesets, abilities and held items?

It’s still June in the US; I’m not too late!


I feel like… movesets and abilities and held items would mostly have to be really specific jokes that I just don’t think I can do well, being only the G of LGBT and not having all that much insight into the other letters.  We can pick six Pokémon, though, and I think we should probably start with Pokémon who have gender properties that are in some way interesting…

That being the case, we probably want Azumarill, in honour of Azurill’s status (in generations III through V) as the only transgender Pokémon, who will sometimes change from female to male upon evolving into Marill (it’s also nice that Water and Fairy, Azumarill’s types, are associated with the blue and pink of the trans pride flag.)

Next I want Mandibuzz to be in here, almost entirely for the Sun version Pokédex entry, which reads as follows: “They adorn themselves beautifully with bones. This is supposedly an effort to attract males, but no male Mandibuzz have ever been found.”  This is, in my opinion, deserves acknowledgement as the single most “Harold, they’re lesbians” thing the Pokédex has ever said.

Male Gardevoir are majestic drag queens who fight to protect all the baby gays of the world and will not put up with any of your your $#!t, and we need one for this team.  Sassy nature, obviously.

We probably need to have Ditto, who famously will love anyone of any gender, or none at all.  This one’s pretty self-explanatory.

We’ve gotta get Cosplay Pikachu from Alpha Sapphire/Omega Ruby in there, because Cosplay Pikachu gives no fµ¢£s about gender presentation, and wants you to know that girls don’t have to be “beautiful” or “cute” – they can be “cool,” “clever” and “tough” too (and frankly she would like the world to know that guys can have whichever of those five they want too; it’s just unfortunate that the games only let us have a female Cosplay Pikachu).  I also propose we let Cosplay Pikachu have the upgraded stats of the partner Pikachu from Let’s Go.

And finally, I think we need to put Mimikyu on the team, in honour of all those still closeted, and forced to hide who they are in order to fit in – but don’t worry, when you’re ready, revealing your true self won’t make people recoil in horror.  Well, unless that’s what you’re actually aiming for, in which case I’m sure your monstrous visage will strike fear into the hearts of the filthy heteros for miles around, and/or turn them to stone.

Honourable mention goes to Cryogonal, the only genderless Pokémon with Attract, who is clearly an asexual biromantic, just trying to make it in a world that doesn’t understand.

3 thoughts on “The Babadook asks:

  1. Amusingly, we’ve ended up with exactly one Mega Evolution and exactly one species-specific Z-Move. I’m pretty sure you would have brought them both up if it had been intentional, but it’s still pretty funny.

    Also, since we’re clearly going for flavor over power, we can’t use Impostor. That’d be a terrible message to send in a team like this, especially for the sole carrier of the letter most likely to get its existence denied even by those who otherwise support the Pride initiative.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The first time I’ve seen anyone else write out my orientation, and it’s in reference to Cryogonal! Clearly this is my spirit Pokemon

    Liked by 4 people

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