One lunatic's love-hate relationship with the Pokémon franchise, and his addled musings on its rights, wrongs, ins and outs. Come one, come all, and indulge my delusions of grandeur as I inflict my opinions on anyone within shouting distance.
I read an interesting Twitter conversation this morning between two major figures of the Pokémon community: Joe Merrick, who runs serebii.net, one of the most important (if not the most important) English-language Pokémon fan reference sites, and Pokémon YouTuber Tama Hero. The topic at issue: what exactly is a “main series” Pokémon game? Because I firmly believe that no human of Earth should use Twitter, I reproduce the conversation here in full:
apparently there’s a thing we should talk about
I am of course infuriated at being awoken from my deathless slumber to talk about whatever the hell this is, and moreover I am, as always, personally offended that this broadcast was not scheduled with my specific time zone in mind (it was at 2 am NZT). Naturally, I will be seeking spiritual retribution against Nintendo, the Pokémon Company and Game Freak by The Usual Channels in due course. In the meantime… let’s see what secret intelligence has just landed on our doorsteps.
Continue reading “okay let’s talk about the- fµ¢£- what are we talking about”By the way, what’s your opinion of Eusine?
Eusine and Morty have this… “the magic has gone out of the world, and I can bring it back” vibe. Generation II was still kinda working through exactly what legendary Pokémon were and meant, and how they were going to fit into the world, because the original games didn’t really lock that down very clearly. A lot of that work happens with Suicune, Entei, Raikou and the way their story is tied into the history and atmosphere of Johto. Something was lost, the towers burned, a miracle was witnessed, but the Pokémon vanished and were never seen again, and the world is a little less magical for their absence. But they still have these… well, for lack of a better word, these prophecies, and Morty’s visions, that tell them someone will bring the legendary Pokémon back. Eusine’s attitude varies a bit between portrayals – original games, remakes, anime, his Generations short – sometimes he’s arguably just chasing personal glory, other times it seems like he has more of a “mission” in mind, something he wants to do for the world. I think the common thread is that he’s thrilled by the idea of finding and experiencing something that exists on the outermost edge of human knowledge… which, ultimately, is what legendary Pokémon are, I think.
I dunno if that constitutes an “opinion of Eusine” but that’s what you’re getting.
So, do you have any thoughts on some of the more “loose” interpretations of moves in the new Pokemon Unite? For example Defense Curl, Hex and the three different Surfs?
I haven’t actually looked at Unite. I don’t really enjoy MOBAs as a genre; I kinda find the design of character abilities interesting from an abstract perspective and I can see why people like them, but the fast-paced team combat just doesn’t play to the things I enjoy about games or have any aptitude with. So, yeah, I haven’t looked at it. I was thinking maybe I should, specifically so I can talk about this kind of thing with reference to the portrayals of specific Pokémon across different media, but I doubt I’m going to get really into it.
The other thing on my mind at the moment is that I’m hearing Pokémon Unite is extremely microtransaction-heavy, even more so than Pokémon Go or anything else in the franchise. Which… well, given that Pokémon (even though it now has a lot of adult fans) has always consciously marketed itself as being for preteen children and still makes a lot of major decisions from that perspective… seems a little bit on the evil side, and maybe represents something that I shouldn’t be giving oxygen to? I dunno; I am willing to be guided by my readers on this.
Since Gen 7, the Pokedex has been getting more liberal in talking about predator/prey relationships between Pokemon. However, they’ve stopped making sure these relationships are reflected in type effectiveness. Before, you had Heatmor being 4x effective against Durant, and Zangoose with its two poison-related abilities. But now, we’ve got Talonflame preying on Wingull, both Gabite and Sableye chasing wild Carbink, and the Poison-type Mareanie devouring the Rock-type Corsola. Idk, how do you explain that?
I’d imagine that – much like predators in the real world – predatory Pokémon go out of their way to make sure that any fights they get into with prey are deeply unfair. Just like Pokémon with a type disadvantage against their prey, a lot of real predators are genuinely kinda fµ¢£ed if their target manages to fight back. Think of, for example, big cats, who go for the throat at the first opportunity, preferably from ambush, and usually back down pretty quickly if that fails because they can’t afford to expend the energy, or sharks, who famously tend to retreat if you give them a good punch in the snout or gills, because they’re just so stunned at the concept of food that tries to hurt them. You want to stack the deck.
Continue reading “Seronimo asks:”Let’s make the most cursed concept design for a Fire starter ever! A bipedal bovine that:
– fights by getting enraged and charging at its opponents (shamelessly ripping off Tauros and Bouffalant, because we’re being as unoriginal as possible),
– is a fast physical attacker with Anger Point as its Hidden Ability, just to drive home the Tauros comparisons,
– has Fire/Fighting as its type in reference to the practice of bullfighting (a morally-questionable blood sport, and also calling back to Blaziken & cockfighting, because we’re being as unoriginal as possible),
– draws visual cues from oxen just to further reinforce the idea of Fire starters being based on the Chinese zodiac.So, how cursed is this whole idea? Can we make it even more cursed?
oh no
so, this is a good effort, but I don’t think it’s cursed enough yet
We need to spit on the game balance somehow – make it either heinously overpowered, like Speed Boost-Blaziken overpowered, or find a way to make it really bad. Fire/Fighting is so strong offensively that, I think, in order for a Fire/Fighting starter to be bad, it almost has to be really slow with one garbage defence stat and a signature move that does something pointless (maybe it scores more critical hits against burned targets). Even then, though, starters have such high stats that it’s hard to make them truly awful without doing something totally obtuse, like mismatching their attack and special attack stats with their movepools. If you want to go in the other direction, just make its hidden ability Huge Power and give it access to Agility.
On the zodiac angle… well, for me personally, to make it as cursed as possible, you have to make it like Cyndaquil or Fennekin, where it’s not actually based on an animal from the Chinese zodiac, but it’s close enough to make people keep repeating the theory anyway. Not sure what the best direction for that is – maybe a bison?
The trouble with the cockfighting/bullfighting analogy is that it feels almost clever. I think if you want to make it as cursed as possible you should just make it an angry wrestler. With tights, except that the Pokédex makes it clear that they’re only skin/fur markings that look like tights for no obvious reason.
Oh, and… obviously it has to learn Curse.
I’ve just made some updates to two pages where I keep ongoing projects that accumulate gradually over time on other platforms – my dinosaur reviews https://pokemaniacal.com/2018/12/03/dinosaur-reviews/, which I write on my private Facebook page for the amusement of my IRL friends, and the growing list of Pokémon I have cooked and eaten https://pokemaniacal.com/2020/08/05/pokemon-i-have-cooked-and-eaten/, which I write on Twitter as tithes to the podcast I Chews You. If you’ve seen either of these before and want more of the same, those pages now have it!
[Catch up on the story so far here!]
Last time, on A Pokémon Trainer Is You:
You’re not going to pay any attention to the warnings, are you?
yeah I figured, Larry said the same thing just before The Tangela Incident. God, he was a piece of $#!t (rest in peace, man).
Opting for a stealthy approach, you turn off the light on your Pokédex and put your trust in Jane’s impeccable night vision. Reaching down to touch her shoulder with one hand so she can lead you, you creep slowly forward, hearing the giggling grow incrementally louder. You think you can see a pinkish light source around another couple of bends. With any luck, you can peek around a corner and get a look at whoever – whatever – is hiding here without revealing your own presence. These caves are full of weird rock formations formed by the slow dripping of water and accretion of limestone; with Jane’s help, you move from one to the next as the light slowly gets better and you find yourself able to see properly. Finally, you crouch behind a big stalagmite right next to a bend in the tunnel, the strange pink light around the corner now almost as bright as torchlight. You slowly crane your head around the bend, and see… just a floating ball of soft pink light, hovering in a dead end. Puzzled, you stand and walk up to the light. There’s no heat coming off it, it’s just… light. Reminds you of the light that Pokémon glow with when they evolve, or when they channel energy for some of their more powerful techniques. You vaguely recall that some Psychic, Ghost and Fairy Pokémon can create spiritual light sources, a minor application of their abilities that doesn’t even rise to the level of a real battle technique like Flash.
And then you hear, somewhere behind you-
Continue reading “A Pokémon Trainer is You! XL: Fey Realms”We all know that if you were in pokemon, you would be a grass and psychic trainer with an ace Vileplume, but what would be your digimon partner if you were a digidestined? Keep in mind even neglectful or neutral tamers have bonds on par with ash and Pikachu, so add in the digimon’s personality to compliment your own if you can.
so… I know this is a bit of a cop-out, but there is a Digimon that is a literal kiwi, and it’s in a line of plant-type Digimon, and I always thought as a kid “yes, that one.” I dunno if any of those Digimon have ever had enough screentime to have an established personality. In the games Kiwimon is usually the champion-level form of Floramon (Digimon evolution is a lot less fixed than Pokémon evolution and most Digimon have multiple documented paths across various games – I think Kiwimon’s ultimate form can be either Blossommon or Deramon, both of which I like), but from what I can remember, when both of those Digimon appear in the anime they’re two different individuals and have radically different personalities. Floramon is kinda ditzy and fun-loving, whereas Kiwimon is very taciturn and stoic. So honestly I think there is room to just say that individual Digimon of the same species can have totally different personalities, and mine would be something that drives me up the wall in exactly the right way to make me improve myself somehow.
Do you think the people of the pokemon universe consider Yveltal and other destructive pokemon evil? Affection for legendary pokemon works the same way it does for others, should we have to earn their trust in a different way? And they still do things like play minigames with you and make cute faces when you pet them. Why?
I don’t get the impression they do. They might be scared of certain Pokémon that have dangerous powers or that humans don’t know much about, but I’m trying my hardest to think of anyone who says a Pokémon is “evil” and I’m really not coming up with much (not counting phenomena like the Shadow Pokémon from Gale of Darkness and Pokémon Go, who have been transformed by an external force and can be “purified” to return them to their peaceful natural state). Individual Pokémon can certainly be evil, like the Malamar from the X and Y anime or Meowth from Team Rocket (maybe Meowth is debateable as he has several redeeming qualities, but he certainly self-identifies as “evil”), but species of Pokémon aren’t inherently evil. When Yveltal appears in the games, it’s a pawn of Lysandre, and in the Diancie movie, it’s treated as extremely dangerous but not really malevolent, more like a living natural disaster than a villain. Tyranitar and Hydreigon are much the same, destructive forces of nature more than evil beings. Mewtwo is, I think, intended to be more complex than just outright “evil”; Necrozma is destructive because it’s diminished and broken; most Dark Pokémon that are mischievous or violent are treated as being dangerous in an animalistic way.
The only ones I can come up with, the only Pokémon that I think are ever implied to be by nature actively and deliberately malicious, are a few of the Ghost Pokémon that literally represent “evil spirits” – Banette and Spiritomb and the like. And even then, the inspirations behind Spiritomb’s design imply the possibility of redemption: the 108 demons of Water Margin become heroes; the 108 temptations that lie between mortals and Nirvana can be overcome. For Spiritomb, the same has to be possible. We’re told by the Ultra Moon Pokédex that Banette’s curse can be broken by treating it with kindness. And I suspect that this should be the default assumption – that even when Pokémon are violent or destructive or malevolent in nature, there is a way in. And that way in commonly involves macarons, doughnuts and/or curry.
I think fundamentally, Pokémon are animals, and Pokémon the series takes the view that humans have a responsibility to be the enlightened stewards of the natural world. We’re supposed to show them the difference between right and wrong (or, in some cases, accept that they are beyond our understanding of right and wrong). What we’re not in a position to do – what I don’t believe the series ever endorses us in doing – is judge them.
Except for Drapion; Drapion’s a piece of $#!t
Pokémaniacal 