One lunatic's love-hate relationship with the Pokémon franchise, and his addled musings on its rights, wrongs, ins and outs. Come one, come all, and indulge my delusions of grandeur as I inflict my opinions on anyone within shouting distance.
did you notice that in gen 7 mega evolution was quietly retconned from an emotional bond-based transformation to being more of an energy-fueled mutation and generally a cruel thing to do to a pokemon? the SM and USUM pokedex entries for mega evos are pretty much all about how much pain the pokemon is in, how it’s been mutated into a grotesque form that distresses it, how it hates being in that form, etc. and none of them are positive or mention the pokemon’s bond with the trainer
Well… I’m looking through the Pokédex entries and I think
it’s a bit more ambiguous than that.
There are several Pokémon for whom this seems like a fair description of
the Pokédex text on their Mega Evolved forms, but they’re certainly not a
majority, and there are also two Mega Evolved Pokémon who explicitlylike
their new forms: Mega Slowbro is said to be “pretty comfortable” ensconced
inside Shellder, while Mega Pinsir supposedly never touches the ground because
it’s overcome with happiness at being able to fly. There are two more that explicitly cite the
importance of the Pokémon’s bond with its trainer (Mega Charizard Y and Mega
Gyarados). I think that pretty well
rules out any general statement about what Mega Evolution is like for all
Pokémon; it affects each of them differently (which, well, makes sense). But there are also those more
disturbing entries referencing things like “sharp pain and suffering” or body
parts becoming “misshapen.” I think in most
of these cases it’s relevant that the Pokémon involved are… well, let’s just
say they’re not necessarily Pokémon you’d want at a child’s birthday
party. Mega Evolution is – in my opinion
– an exaggeration of everything distinctive about a Pokémon. Whatever a Pokémon already does, Mega
Evolution turns it up to eleven. I don’t
think they were designed with the intention that they should be proper viable
organisms in their own right; they’re ridiculous overpowered battle modes that
are supposed to be assumed for minutes at a time, at the very most. It sort of makes sense that they should often
be quite stressful. Furthermore, if you
have a Pokémon already known for viciousness or destructiveness… well, let’s
see what happens, starting from the ones that aren’t particularly objectionable.
Ruby: I was supposed to be ruling the world by now. Daku: [bored] We know… Ruby: I was supposed to have achieved ultimate arcane power by shamelessly exploiting magic items with unclear abilities and vague limitations. Daku: We know… Ruby: And instead I’m sitting here, freezing my tail off in the middle of some me-forsaken cluster of ramshackle louse-ridden bivouacs clinging to the edge of the world, waiting for a recon report from a Golduck who worships a fossilised mollusc and the world’s stupidest Pidgeot! Daku: Are you done? Ruby: And where the hell is the Shelmet? Daku: That… that is actually a very good question; where the hell is the Shelmet? Martial: She mentioned meeting with a contact outside the human settlement. Something about being promised information by a couple of Karrablast. Ruby: A couple of-? PffffffBAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Martial: I fail to see what is so funny. Ruby: HAHAHAHAHA oh, you will, trust me, just as soon as she gets back, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaha ha ha ha… ha… ha… ah, we’re still here. Why. Martial: Your brother still languishes in prison, witch. Have you already forgotten your promise to him? Ruby: What? No! No, I mean- just- I mean, of course not! But this place is a pointless backwater; we should just return to Lumiose City and burn anything that gets in our way. Martial: We cannot risk the civilian casualties that would ensue if we attacked the city without more information about Team Flare’s activities and plans. Daku: And we could hardly stay in Laverre City either, after the… spat… that you two had with the Cabal sorcerers. Ruby: Fine, but we need to take real, serious action, and soon. Spruce: Hey! Ruby! Fisher: We bring news, my lady! Ruby: …oh good; my day is about to get even more pointless and dreary. Spruce: You’ll never guess what we just found! Ruby: [sigh] Let me guess. A quest. Spruce: No, A QUE- oh. Oh, okay, you, uh… you guessed it. Ruby: Incredible. Duck. Explain. Fisher: Well, my lady, while scouting the entrance to the Frost Cavern north of this settlement, we encountered a Jynx with an interesting proposition… Ruby: Uh-huh. And this is her, I take it? All right; let’s hear it… Jynx: I grëët yoü, sørceress, in the nåme of öur Møthër Wïnter. I äm called Brynhildr, ånd I am the læder øf thë rëbel Pøkémon fightïng tø freë the Frost Cavern frøm the tÿrånnical rule of the Abomasnow whöse låir lies in the icÿ hært of our cåve høme. Ruby: Why- why are you talking like that. Why do you have a Swedish accent. You’re not Swedish. None of us are Swedish. We’re in France. Spruce: What’s France? Jynx: I døn’t knöw whät yoü’re talking abœt; I spæk with a Jynx äccent. Ruby: [deep breath] Fine. Whatever. Spruce: Brynhildr wants us to help free her people from oppression! Ruby: Uh huh. What’s in it for us? Spruce: That’s the best part! Tell her, Brynhildr! Brynhildr: The ëvil Abomasnow I åm fightïng to øverthrœw hølds a mægical jëwël of græt pøwer – an Abomasite. Nöne of mÿ pœple cån use it, but yöür Pidgeot tells më that yoü can. If yöu’ll ønly joïn thë mercenåry grœüps helpïng üs to fight, it’s yoürs. Ruby: [stunned] Wha- that- but this is incredible! It’s beyond my wildest dreams! I- Daku: What, because we’ve found another of your sorcerous baubles? Ruby: No, because Spruce did something useful! Spruce: I’m helping! Umbriel: [somewhere in the distance] EEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHH!
Glückwunsch! Dein Umbriel wurde zu einem Hydragil!
Merneith: [squinting] So this is the place? Ruby: Seems to be. Why else would anyone put a bunch of those giant mushroom domes out here in the middle of nowhere? This shouldn’t take long; we just need to take care of things here for Lavoisier and then we’ll be on our way back to Lumiose City by tomorrow morning. Merneith: Typical of humans to inflict a blight like that on the landscape. It’s probably putting out mind-altering energy waves or mutating radiation or something. I’d tear down every last one in Kalos if I had the chance. Ruby: Mmm; well, it’s not exactly easy on the eyes, but we won’t have to look at it for long; let’s get on with it. Martial: I for one am glad to be engaged in a task of righteousness again – even if only briefly. This group spends too much time as it is pursuing your self-aggrandising fantasies of power. Ruby: Hey, pursuing my self-aggrandising fantasies of power is just about the only damn thing this lot will ever amount to; don’t knock it. Now, there must be an entrance around here somewhere… Spruce: Over there! See that little building on the other side of that outcrop? Ruby: …no, Spruce, because the outcrop is in the way and the rest of us are on the ground. Spruce: …oh. Right. Hey, I think there’s a fight going on over there! We should get over there and see if someone needs our help! Ruby: Oh, for goodness’ sake, Spruce; you don’t- …and he’s already gone. Nidoking, you with the life-debt or whatever; go and make sure he doesn’t get himself killed or something. Martial: Hmph. I need none of your instruction, witch. Merneith: Come on; let’s go already! We have a job to do!