Anonymous asks:

I’ve got a challenge for you, if you have the time! Your hatred for Nosepass and Probopass is legendary around these parts of Tumblr (by which I mean your blog). How then would you ‘fix’ them to make them more interesting to you? So a challenge along the lines of your suggested improvements for the Top Ten Worst Pokémon! (don’t worry, we’ll do good ol’ Garbodor another day)

ohhhhhhhhhh goddddddddd


Okay, well… part of the problem is, the most interesting thing about Nosepass and Probopass is probably their link to the cardinal directions, but that link goes through the dumbest thing about Nosepass and Probopass – their giant red magnetic noses.  Also, it’s just bizarre to have a Pokémon that can only ever face directly north (how do they even fight like that?), and I kind of want some excuse to give them multiple faces, so that they “face” both north and south, or in all four cardinal directions, but then doing that would force us to abandon the cool moai inspiration.  I suppose that’s what they were trying to get at with Probopass’s “mini-noses,” but a) that doesn’t really make it any less ridiculous for Probopass’s main nose to be locked in a north-facing position, and b) now we have f&%#ing mini-noses.  Of course, it’s not like the compass theme and the moai theme work together particularly well anyway, since real moai conspicuously don’t face north; most of them just face away from the ocean and towards the interior of Rapa Nui, regardless of which geographical direction that is.



Look, there’s… pieces of two potentially quite good designs in here, both of which could be Polynesian-inspired, but they don’t necessarily fit very well together, and neither of them is a good enough excuse for Probopass’ moustache.  You can have your moai statue, but give it earth and volcanic powers, make it into some kind of highly specialised organism that draws in soil nutrients to the area around itself in order to make plants grow strong, then sustains itself off the plants’ own excess life force (you get the theme of volcanic soil that was so critical to the agricultural economies of many ancient Polynesian civilisations, and you get one possible interpretation of real moai, that they have something to do with fertility magic).  And you can have your compass Pokémon, in some way that pays homage to the fantastic navigation skills of the ancient Polynesians.  Maybe have a (Water/Steel?) shark- or ray-like Pokémon, with markings designed after traditional Polynesian tattoos, that swims at the water’s surface.  It has a kappa-esque water bowl in its head that holds a spinning piece of metal, like those home-made compasses you can make with a magnetised needle.  Make it one of the first Pokémon ever trained by humans in oceanic regions, with an important role in teaching humans to navigate and colonise remote islands.  Give it Cosmic Power and some other moon/star-related powers to reflect the importance of celestial navigation to traditional wayfinding.

I’m spitballing but you get the idea.

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