N asks:

What pokémon do you think best represents each social media site (Facebook, Twitter, Tumbler)

uh

Well, Twitter is Chatot, right?  It’s a useless annoying bird that never shuts up and has appalling political opinions.

Facebook is Audino; it hears everything, and although it means well, it’s complicit in a vast system of oppression with horrifying global consequences that are beyond its ability to understand or control.

MySpace is clearly Lileep, because it’s an extinct vegetable with no personality.

Obviously Instagram is Smeargle; it’s obsessed with pictures and looks really interesting but is actually useless.

And Snapchat must be Minior, because it’s flashy and attention-grabbing but only lasts a few minutes.

Tinder… I think Tinder is Heatmor, because it seems like a good way to light a spark, but is actually clunky, mechanical and inexplicably covered in ants.

Now fµ¢£ing Grindr, Grindr is Morelull – it’s a Fairy-type mushroom that constantly flashes at you and really isn’t as big as it thinks it is.

4chan is Spiritomb; it has a hundred and eight distinct souls, but unfortunately all of them are awful.

Which means Tumblr has to be Garbodor.  It’s literal fµ¢£ing garbage from hell and really should have been set on fire a long time ago, but people love it anyway because it accepts them for who they are.

2 thoughts on “N asks:

    1. Hmm.

      LinkedIn is Probopass – it wants everyone to be drawn to it and revolve around it, but nobody ever asked for it and it’s incredibly dumb.

      Youtube… hmm. Tricky. I think YouTube is Sableye; it collects shiny things so it can be the centre of attention, and when you get close it steals your soul.

      Liked by 2 people

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