The Dag asks:

Who would win in a dance-off? Ludicolo, Oricorio, Bellossom, Sudowoodo, Maractus, Jynx, or you?

Okay, so, the easy part first: I cannot dance, and I come dead last.  I will, however, sabotage all the other contestants by spiking their drinks.  I’m not trying to tip the competition towards anyone in particular; I just think it would be hilarious.

Now, what are the dance skills of all these Pokémon like?

Ludicolo:

• Empowered by festive music, dances compulsively
• Excellent taste in accessories – could use more fruit
• Naturally learns Teeter Dance and Rain Dance
• TCG cards have a wide range of powerful dance-related moves and abilities, including Swing Dance, Mad Dance and Captivating Rhythm

Oricorio:

• Versed in four different dance styles from around the world
• Dances invoke a range of emotions and magical effects
• Naturally learns Feather Dance and Teeter Dance
• Has Revelation Dance as its signature move
• Can “steal” dances from other Pokémon with the Dancer ability
• TCG cards all use dances like Vital Dance, Supernatural Dance and Captivating Salsa to create powerful and varied effects

Bellossom:

• Performs beautiful musical dances to praise the sun
• Excellent group choreography
• Naturally learns Quiver Dance and Petal Dance, with Teeter Dance as an egg move
• Some TCG cards have dance-related attacks or support abilities, including Heal Dance, Green Dance and Dance ‘til Dawn

Sudowoodo:

• Clearly enjoys dancing but has no mechanical abilities to back it up
• Doesn’t seem to be known for dancing
• Can copy others’ dances with moves like Mimic and Copycat
• Learns Flail, I guess???

Maractus:

• Dances to keep bird Pokémon from eating it
• It’s a living, I guess
• Naturally learns Petal Dance
• One TCG card has an okay-ish move called Dazzle Dance

Jynx:

• Communicates using a sign language based on dance
• Can compel others to dance along with it
• Does not naturally learn any dance moves but, like Sudowoodo, can use Copycat
• Two TCG cards carry decent moves called Mysterious Dance and Strange Dance

I think Oricorio is the clear winner, with its highly varied repertoire and ability to copy additional styles of dance from others.  Ludicolo and Bellossom are just about neck-and-neck for second place, and I think it largely depends on whether this is a solo or group performance.  Sudowoodo is second-to-last, in front of me, but receives a special award for having the most fun.  Maractus gets nothing because Maractus will always be bad at everything (I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them).  Jynx gives a decent performance but is disqualified after all the judges are mystically compelled to join the dance, then wake up the next morning in a ditch outside town clutching an empty bottle of absinthe and wearing nothing but a leopardskin thong.