oh, right, I was doing this whole thing
Well, there’s only four characters left, so here they are: the Ashen Wolves. They’re the “secret fourth house” that live in the basement and never talk to anyone. There’s apparently an entire hidden town called “Abyss” hidden underneath the school/monastery/fortress where you and all the other characters live, filled with outlaws, refugees, dispossessed nobles and assorted other fugitives who collectively decided that the best place to hide from the law was literally in the Pope’s basement. These four kooky kids can join you no matter which of the other “houses” you’re aligned with, as long as you’ve bought the “Cindered Shadows” DLC and completed an extra chapter of the story focused on them. And here they are:
- Commoner adopted by a minor noble family, grew up to become some kind of mob boss
- Basically runs Abyss in the absence of any more reasonable authority figure
- Could probably arrange for you to be murdered in your sleep
- Has definitely thought about it
- Is too gay to put up with your bull$#!t
- Kind to children; will shank you if you find out about it
- Difficult to be friends with, but extremely worth it
- He is perfect and I love him
Favoured types: Flying, Dark, Normal
Yuri’s mob nickname is “the savage mockingbird,” and if you teach him magic (which you probably will, since his “default” class is a hybrid caster) he mainly learns wind spells. He was born a commoner and is still devoted to helping ordinary people, hence Normal, but regularly does so through… less than ethical means, hence Dark.
Disfavoured types: Fairy, Ground, Bug
Yuri’s biggest mob rival is a gang that identifies its members with scorpion tattoos. He’s not good with Fairy-types since he’s so cynical, and doesn’t like the bulky, solid nature of Ground-types.
Honchkrow is a bird who is a mob boss, which is basically Yuri’s entire aesthetic; they’re made for each other.
Other Pokémon: Toucannon, Dodrio, Crobat, Raticate (Alolan), Liepard
Yuri likes Flying Pokémon with great speed, manoeuvrability and physical power. Raticate is another mobster Pokémon to help him run his gang, and Liepard is just very good at shanking people.
- Commoner from a mysterious isolated village
- Possesses some kind of magical(?) ability(??) that causes her to involuntarily summon huge, hostile monsters whenever she sighs
- Enjoys this about as much as you might expect
- Is extremely tired of everyone’s $#!t, so not sighing is kind of a struggle
- Likes coming up with nicknames for people
- Silent protagonist Byleth is “Chatterbox”
- Militant atheist
- which makes it a tiny bit difficult to work for the Pope
- Knows a lot about astronomy for some reason
- She is perfect and I love her
Favoured types: Ghost, Rock, Psychic
Hapi was hard to pick for, but I went with Ghost for her dark magic, Rock for her strange affinity with huge, powerful monsters and Psychic for her intelligence and interest in the stars (Psychic being connected with space and celestial phenomena in Pokémon).
Disfavoured types: Dragon, Fairy, Fighting
Hapi strongly dislikes the church, religion, idealism and knights, all of which she sees as hypocritical and deceptive.
Partner: Lycanroc (Midnight)
Lycanroc is the sort of thing Hapi summons with her sighs, a vicious, monstrous beast that indiscriminately tears her enemies asunder – and, if she’s not careful, her friends.
Other Pokémon: Lunatone, Stonjourner, Grumpig, Mismagius, Cofagrigus
Hapi uses magical Pokémon with links to curses (Cofagrigus), dark or sinister magic (Grumpig and Mismagius), the night sky (Lunatone) and special or magical locations (Stonjourner).
Balthus von Albrecht
- Son of a commoner who married into a noble house but later returned to her home village
- Is technically heir to that house but gives zero fµ¢£s
- Loves punching things – the self-styled “King of Grappling”
- Gambling debts exceed the entire annual operating budget of the Fantasy Holy Roman Empire
- Super tight with Hilda’s older brother
- Kinda full of himself, but helpful and basically a good dude
- Technically a hybrid White Mage, but is really bad at it and should probably stick to punching things
- He is perfect and I love him
Favoured types: Fighting, Dark, Rock
Balthus punches things. That is his entire deal. Compared to most of the other warrior characters, though, he’s much more willing to be a little underhanded in achieving victory.
Disfavoured types: Flying, Poison, Steel
Steel because Balthus mainly fights unarmed, eschewing weapons in favour of his fists. Poison because he’s not especially subtle, and Flying because he’s slow, not particularly agile and can’t easily advance to a flying class.
Pangoro has this blend of heroism and dirt-baggery that really epitomises Balthus, it has a fighting style that matches his, and frankly it seems like it’d be up for some occasional heavy drinking and gambling.
Other Pokémon: Kommo-o, Scrafty, Barbaracle, Obstagoon, Rhyperior
Balthus is into Pokémon who are not just good at fighting, but ostentatious about it, like Kommo-o and Obstagoon, and Pokémon with attitude like Scrafty. Barbaracle is made of hands, which fits his “King of Grappling” thing, and Rhyperior is just very big and made of pain.
Constance von Nuvelle
- Last surviving member of an extinct noble house in the Fantasy Holy Roman Empire
- Aims to restore her house by becoming a mighty sorceress, discovering terrifying new spells and amassing a vast fortune
- Suffers from… some kind of bizarre fantasy mashup of bipolar disorder, seasonal affective disorder and multiple personalities
- When exposed to direct sunlight, she’s meek, self-effacing, pessimistic and deferent
- At night, or indoors, or even if it’s just cloudy, she’s confident, lively, arrogant, frankly bordering on megalomaniacal
- She is, at any given moment, roughly three overcast days away from becoming a comic book supervillain and taking over the world
- Likes inventing really weird and borderline-useless spells just to show off
- She is perfect and I love her
Favoured types: Electric, Flying, Ice
Constance is a magical powerhouse with strong ice and lightning spells, and her “default” class makes her a flying caster.
Disfavoured types: Bug, Fire, Normal
Constance dislikes the sun because of her mysterious condition, and is very disdainful of those she perceives as insignificant or beneath her station.
Morpeko has a similar dual-personality thing to Constance, is just as volatile and has electrical powers like hers, while being a cute Pokémon who wouldn’t be out of place in a noble court setting.
Other Pokémon: Arctozolt, Minior, Lapras, Noctowl, Heliolisk
Arctozolt and Minior are more Pokémon with dual natures (lightning bird/ice dinosaur and rocky shell/starry core). Heliolisk is an Electric Pokémon who compensates a little for Constance’s peculiar issues with sunlight. Lapras is a powerful but graceful and noble Ice Pokémon who can serve as a mount. Noctowl is a mystical Flying Pokémon who comes out at night.
aaaaaaand… that’s a wrap!
Let me know if hearing my strange opinions about games other than Pokémon is something that interests you. I have some ideas, but most of them don’t really have Pokémon crossover potential like I managed to work out for this one, so for now they’re going to be verrrrrry much long-term back burner projects, but I’m always happy to talk about what exactly I should be doing and why, so bring that up in the comments if you have thoughts.
And of course, thanks as always to the mysterious dark Patrons of my work, especially to the Dark Council: Name (Required), Miame Irohara and Intonyeon!