If you were put in charge of the next pokémon game, but still had to stick with the same general archetypes and framework as the past games, what sort of concepts and themes would you want to include?

“If I were put in charge of the next Pokémon game” is set to be the topic of my next major project once I get the rest of this playthrough journal out of the way. In brief, though:

– I would really like to explore the possible variations on the relationship between humans and Pokémon a bit more, through a combination of subplots/side-quests and maybe expanded mechanics for the way players relate to individual Pokémon. This could possibly tie into the ‘Pokémon liberation’ philosophies put forward by N and Ghetsis in Black and White; I would like to make that a major theme, but that might feel less like a new game and more like my take on Black and White, so maybe keeping that to the side is best.

– I have always been convinced that Pokémon is about exploration and discovery. I would like to increase the direct relevance of the Pokédex quest (and, by extension, of learning more about individual species of Pokémon) to the way the story unfolds and the way we play the game.

– I think the responsibility that comes with power would be something Pokémon could do a lot with. Pokémon games always end with the player becoming Champion, but your position and its importance are rarely acknowledged in-game. Surely the most powerful trainer in the region has certain duties? Obligations? Or, if nothing else, personal goals which are furthered by this power?

Squiddy Tweaks

So, results on the tweaks proposed to our democratically-designed Pokémon are as follows:

Turbo Wave, Squiddy’s V-Create-style signature move, is reduced in power from 180 to 160.

Base stats are unchanged.

Dark Pulse, Earth Power, Thunderbolt, Thunder, Ice Beam, Blizzard and Icy Wind stay; Giga Drain, Energy Ball, Volt Switch, Baton Pass and Calm Mind go.

Scald replaces Muddy Water as a level-up move.

(Thatswhatbradsaid; if you feel like doing another stat sheet with these revisions that’d be helpful, but if not I don’t mind doing it myself)

Now we need to tidy up a few flavour aspects. There are three things I’d like to take submissions on now.

First is a name. I can’t keep calling him Squiddy (er… or can I?). Chewiana Jones, who initially created the steampunk squid concept, suggested Colosquiln, and another reader, Lucas, has suggested Boilossus, but I’d like to hear more ideas. Personally I’m not sure that either of those sounds quite right, but, well, it’s not up to me! There’ll be a vote on this just like everything else. The main restriction to be aware of here is that Pokémon names are never longer than 10 characters (ironically enough, they also never have accented characters like é – in English, at least; I don’t know about the other European languages). If you have an idea that’s in the 11-12 range, think about dropping one or two letters (as happened with the missing final vowel from Feraligatr, or what would have been a double-l in Victreebel).

The second thing is height and weight, which I actually want to fold in with the third thing: Pokédex entries, which should probably have some basis in Chewiana Jones’ original concept brief, although you don’t need to stick slavishly to it. I’m hoping to get a bit of variety in the submissions for these things. I’m going to say we need three (hypothetically, this would be one for Black, one for White, one for Black 2/White 2), and ideally you should submit a full set. Pokédex entries aren’t long; they need to give all the information they possibly can about a Pokémon in perhaps two medium-length sentences. Try to be concise. Take a look at some existing entries to see the kind of length you should be shooting for. You should also provide a ‘species classification’ – Pikachu is ‘the Mouse Pokémon,’ Bulbasaur is ‘the Seed Pokémon,’ and so on. Don’t worry if the name you want is already in use – quite a few Pokémon have duplicate classifications (Espeon and Sunflora, for instance, are both ‘Sun Pokémon’). Pokémon traditionally gives weight and height in pounds and feet, which is dumb, but, well, conventions are conventions, so that’s what your entries should do too. You can give metric figures as well if you want to. I think it’s kind of a given that Squiddy is pretty big, but how big? Do remember that very few Pokémon are truly enormous – the largest one in existence, Wailord, is less than half the size of a real blue whale.

There is a fourth thing, which is a collection of miscellaneous game data: the experience points and effort points it grants when defeated, which experience curve it uses, how long its eggs take to hatch, its base happiness, and how easy it is to capture. For most of these, I’ll just pick a couple of representative options myself and make a poll out of them; there’s not a whole lot to discuss (for example, base happiness is 70 for almost all non-legendary Pokémon, there are only six possible experience curves to choose from, and it’s something of a foregone conclusion that Squiddy will grant some combination of speed and special attack effort points).

Anyhow. Anyone who wants to try writing a set of three Pokédex entries (with height and weight data and a classification) or coming up with a name should now send their suggestions to pokemaniac.chris@gmail.com. Until next time!

White 2 Playthrough Journal, episode 16: Air show

Considering Mistralton City is the only destination for cargo planes headed into Unova, it’s kind of a hick town – honestly, more of a hamlet tacked onto the side of the (much larger) airport. How it gained itself the name of ‘City’ is beyond me; if the airport is discounted, the only settlement of comparable size in all Unova is Nuvema Town. ‘Mistralton Airfield and Passenger Accommodations’ might be more appropriate. I discuss all this quite loudly with Jim, who tells me in a low hiss to keep my voice down, as we walk through the alleged city. As tiny as Mistralton is, though, it is not long before my highly enlightening speech is interrupted by an encounter with a familiar face – or at least, what would be a familiar face if we had met her yet in this game: Professor Juniper. Juniper takes a moment to inquire after our health and enthuse about our meteoric progress through the ranks of Unova’s trainers. She has, she says with a manic grin, gifts for us. She tells us to close our eyes, and then presses two hard, smooth spheres into our outstretched hands. We open our eyes to see-

Good grief.

Master Balls? I stare at Professor Juniper with a mix of incredulity and swelling egomania. Does she know what she’s just given us? Can she possibly be aware what these things are capable of? She has literally just met us, and-! Why, a Master Ball is the kind of artefact that can bring down entire cities in the wrong hands… and these, I think to myself as my eyes flicker downwards, look very much like the wrong hands. I gently slip my Master Ball into my pocket and thank Professor Juniper gracefully for her generous gift – which, I am careful to explain, will surely be a great help to us in the course of our research work for her and Bianca. I speculate in strident tones about the rare Pokémon I might use it on: an Amoonguss, perhaps, or a Zweilous; maybe even a Golurk. Juniper nods approvingly. Jim glances at me, raises an eyebrow, and follows suit. Before I can continue my effusive facade, someone shouts a greeting to Professor Juniper – Skyla, the young Mistralton Gym Leader. Skyla, it seems, has been engaged to fly Juniper and Bianca across the central Unova basin to a place called Lentimas Town, and is eager to leave. Juniper, however, has yet to conclude her business in Mistralton City, and was actually just about to head north to finish up some investigations of the nearby Celestial Tower. She indicates that one or both of us would be welcome to join her there, and to come with her to Lentimas Town on Skyla’s plane once her work is finished. With that, she leaves for the tower, and Skyla for the Mistralton Gym. I couldn’t care less about whatever Professor Juniper is up to, but figure I might as well challenge Skyla as long as we’re here. Jim decides to follow the professor, more to get in some training than anything else.

When I enter Skyla’s Gym, I am immediately struck in the face by a blast of wind that turns my Princess Leia hairstyle into a pair of exploded hedgehogs. Struggling to move against the wind, I manage about three steps before the gale abruptly cuts out and I stumble forward to fall flat on my face. Taking a mirror from my pocket and surveying my desolated hairdo, I silently vow to make Skyla pay for this. Realising that Clyde the Guide and some of the Gym trainers seem to be watching me, I abandon silence and instead vow at the top of my voice to make Skyla pay for this. I gather my wits, stumble to my feet, and am immediately bowled over by another blast of air from the far wall. Once this one falters, I grudgingly examine my surroundings. The wind is coming from a wall of massive industrial fans stacked at the back of the Gym. I can make out Skyla in the distance, seemingly unfazed by the periodic windstorms that rock her home. Some lights flicker on at the back of the building and the fans begin to come to life again. Thinking quickly, I duck behind one of the statues at the entrance and crouch in its shadow. I still feel the wind, but it doesn’t knock me over this time. I peep out from behind the statue and scope out the Gym’s obstacle course. There seems to be enough cover for me to dash between sheltered spots while the fans are powered down. The moment the wind stops, I leap out from behind the statue and run quickly to the nearest hollow in the floor, where I crouch and wait for the next gust. Moving like this, stopping occasionally to smite any trainer fool enough to laugh at my hair, I manage to pick my way to the back of the Gym where Skyla awaits.

Skyla is tough. As her Swoobat shakes off Daenerys’ Crunch to come back with a devastating Acrobatics attack, I muse that Jim may have had the right idea by going north for some training first. Still, this is now a matter of pride. I bring out Jaime the Dewott to finish Swoobat, then switch to my Growlithe, Barristan, to melt Skyla’s Skarmory to slag. Finally, my ever-dependable Ampharos, Sansa, hammers her Swanna with a powerful Discharge to end the match. As Skyla begins her ‘gracious defeat’ speech and prepares to hand over my Jet Badge, I call Jaime again and have him hold a Razor Shell to her throat. Once I have Skyla’s attention, I demand to know her secret. How on earth does she spend all day in this building without getting her hair and clothes blown into total disarray? Skyla tells me, in a low rasp, to touch them. Her hair is frozen in place by what must be a litre of gel, and her clothes are stiff with starch. She looks perhaps a touch worse for wear, while I seem to have spent two months homeless in Kansas. She snickers and offers to give me the name of a cheap hairdresser.

Jim claims that he heard my howl of rage from as far away as the Celestial Tower.

Jim fell behind Professor Juniper battling trainers on the road to the Celestial Tower, but catches up to her before long. She is standing near the centre of the tower’s ground floor, looking about in silence. She murmurs something about the Pokémon that live there – Ghost-types and Psychic-types. Did they live here before the tower was built, or did they gather there afterwards? This, Jim surmises, must be the subject of her research here. A difficult question to answer, but important and fascinating; with the help of a powerful Pokémon trainer, surely it will be possible to-

Oh, no, wait, never mind. She’s all done here. She just wanted to stand there for a bit and think about how clever she is. She beams at Jim, gives him another rare and powerful item (this time a Lucky Egg) and then departs. Jim stays behind to clear out the tower and catch a few specimens for further research, but doesn’t linger for long. The Celestial Tower is a little creepy. It’s one of those places that don’t take kindly to intrusion.

Once everyone is back in Mistralton City, Jim challenges Skyla to a battle, which ends very quickly, thanks to the extra training his own Ampharos, Elisif, has had in the northern areas. Professor Juniper watches and gives a sagely nod, as if to say that our progress is satisfactory, and prompts Skyla to hurry up and get her plane ready so she and Bianca can leave for Lentimas Town. Skyla obliges, and turns to ask me and Jim whether we’re coming. I give an indifferent shrug. Juniper indicates that there are two more Pokémon Gyms in Unova that we won’t be able to reach easily without crossing the central Unova basin. Meh. We’ve got six each of these damn badges, what good are two more going to do us? She attempts to appeal to our sense of duty, noting that there are people in Lacunosa Town and Opelucid City who can help us figure out what Team Plasma is trying to do. I laugh in her face. Surely she has learnt by now that we have no sense of duty. Jim muses, though, that consulting with the Dragon masters of Opelucid City is probably the only way we’re ever going to learn more about the origins of Unova and the history of the legendary Pokémon. I wave my hand, inviting him to continue. This could, Jim speculates, be a potential path to world domination if exploited fully. We have Master Balls now – imagine what we could do if we found a Pokémon as powerful as Zekrom or Reshiram? I consider this. We can always Fly back if the whole experience becomes too banal to cope with, I suppose. The matter decided, we pile into Skyla’s plane and set a course for Lentimas Town.

White 2 Playthrough Journal, episode 15: The wind beneath my wings

As I hike back through the desert and across the great drawbridge to Driftveil City, I silently vow to evolve Daenerys into a Vibrava so I can show up Jim and his stupid Ducklett, Lydia. How does a Ducklett even carry a kid halfway across the country, anyway? The damn things barely come up to my knee! Muttering mutinously to myself, I storm right through Driftveil, casting black looks at the commoners who cross my path, and move on to the next road – the road to the Chargestone Cave and Mistralton City. With Daenerys at my side, I smite every wild Pokémon foolish enough to harass me, and eventually I am rewarded for my ill temper – Daenerys evolves at last. I immediately teach her Fly and celebrate by flying right back to Castelia, buying a bag of rainbow confetti, and then zipping around Unova in a convoluted zig-zag pattern, sprinkling cheer and joy over every town I pass. Some hours later, I grow bored and have Daenerys take me back to Driftveil City. Jim can’t be that far ahead, right? He’s probably waiting somewhere on the road to the Chargestone Cave, level grinding. Sure enough, I soon find both him and Cheren hanging out at the climate research lab on route 6. I strut in, my new Vibrava at my side, completely ignoring Cheren and the bewildered scientists, and approach Jim. I scratch Daenerys behind her nonexistent ears and proudly tell him of my accomplishments, mocking him for his sad little Ducklett and basking in the glory of my proper flying Pokémon. As I begin to wind down, Jim wordlessly takes Lydia’s Pokéball from his belt and cracks it open. Out pops…

…Lydia the Swanna.

God damn it.

Deprived so cruelly of my moment in the sun, I remember that Cheren is here and decide that questioning him is better than wallowing in my own inferiority. Why is he at the climate lab, anyway? Cheren has come to make use of the climate scientists’ sophisticated monitoring equipment to investigate a strange anomaly – the sharp temperature drop we felt when we boarded the Team Plasma ship. Apparently similar extreme temperature gradients have been detected all around Unova, vanishing as suddenly as they appear – in Virbank City, Castelia City, and far away Lacunosa Town. Hmm. Virbank City and Castelia City. We fought Team Plasma in both of those places, so presumably their ship was nearby. And Lacunosa… Lacunosa is near the Giant Chasm, Kyurem’s home. More confirmation, then – they have Kyurem. Kyurem is on the ship. But that’s game over, isn’t it? They control the legendary dragon, but this time there’s no goody two-shoes N figure standing in the way to mess up their plans by insisting that they re-enact some ancient epic and give another hero time to mount a challenge. That sounds to me like it’s time to pack up and let them have Unova. I’ve always wanted to go to Hoenn anyway. Jim points out that this isn’t necessarily so. Kyurem’s the crappy dragon, remember? The one who’s an empty shell, thought to be the ‘corpse’ left behind when Reshiram and Zekrom split in the first place. Unless the other two dragons come back and ‘restore’ him somehow, Kyurem’s not nearly as apocalyptically powerful as either of them. And Reshiram and Zekrom are both gone.

…right?

I grudgingly concede that our doom may not be at hand just yet. Meanwhile, some of the climate researchers in the background are heard to speculate on my dedication to upholding the virtues of the Pokémon Trainer, and on my general sanity. I punish them by confiscating one of the Serene Grace Deerling they use to study seasonal climate variation. This Deerling, under the name of Bran, becomes the sixth and final member of my party, and with a little training very quickly evolves into Sawsbuck. Thus appeased of my minor humiliation at Lydia’s hands (or… wings), I gather Jim and move on, wishing Cheren luck in his ongoing investigation. We again set our sights on the Chargestone Cave and Mistralton City. A few Foonguss bar our path, and we exterminate them for the insult. Soon, though, approaching a bridge over the Mistralton River, we encounter a far more significant challenge to our passage – none other than the legendary Pokémon Cobalion. It tosses its head and cries out, glaring in our direction. I march onto the bridge to negotiate with Cobalion for our passage.

“Right. Shove off, or we will beat you senseless and stuff you into a tiny ball.” Cobalion responds with a Sacred Sword attack that narrowly misses my head as I dodge to the left and tumble to the ground.

This is how haggling works; you start with an unacceptable offer and an equally absurd counteroffer, and then work your way towards the middle.

I get up, dust myself off, clear my throat, and prepare to launch into an impassioned harangue on the rights of Pokémon and the privileges of humans – a prelude to my revised offer of “shove off, or we will beat you senseless and not stuff you into a tiny ball." Jim knocks me to the ground as Cobalion pre-empts my speech with another Sacred Sword. Honestly, the rudeness of some people! I had everything under control; it was all part of the diplomatic process! Cobalion, evidently insulted by Jim’s interruption, roars again and springs away, disappearing into the hills. I shake my fist as he vanishes into the distance, swearing to finish our conversation some other time. Without warning, we hear Rood’s voice from behind us. The old sage, along with one of his similarly geriatric attendants, has apparently observed our encounter with Cobalion. They talk us through Cobalion’s backstory – how he, Virizion and Terrakion became the enemies of humankind because they realised how much harm human conflicts can cause to Pokémon. Rood speculates that Cobalion’s reappearance may have something to do with Team Plasma, and suggests that catching him would greatly increase our already formidable powers. Jim feels it would be a waste of our time, but I am intrigued. I’ve mentioned long ago that one of my difficulties with Cobalion’s quartet is the fact that, although their background and beliefs give them every reason to be directly involved in the ideological conflict with N, they spend Black and White hiding, taking no part unless the player chooses to drag them into things. Could they actually have something to do in this game? I am sufficiently curious to go and check out Cobalion’s home, the Mistralton Cave, while Jim presses on towards Mistralton City. The cave turns out to be a let-down. There is nothing of interest there, barring another old man who claims to be searching for Cobalion, but has no idea where to look. Disgruntled, I stomp out of the cave and run to catch up with Jim in the nearby Chargestone Cave, the seldom-used pathway to Mistralton City.

Jim, meanwhile, is following someone. Picking his way between the electrified stones that levitate above the cave’s floor, he heard a voice – a rapid, almost incomprehensible stream of consciousness, rambling about the formulas that express the power of electricity. At first Jim followed at a safe distance, expecting some garden-variety nut-job and wanting to approach with caution – but then the person he was following began to speak about something entirely different. Something about saving Pokémon, and protecting a friend. Wait. Hmm. Jim quietly recalls his Pokémon and creeps through the cave, trying to hear more of this suspiciously familiar fellow’s musings. At this point, I find him and startle him with a loud, echoing “HI, JIM!” There is a frantic scuffling sound in the distance, then nothing. Jim turns and mimes throttling me. As a gesture of reconciliation, I send Daenerys through the cave to see if she can find anything, but to our immeasurable displeasure she manages only to find and lead us to Bianca. Bianca is evidently researching the Pokémon of the Chargestone Cave for Professor Juniper, but is having trouble with one species in particular – the elusive Tynamo. We obligingly descend into the cave’s deepest level and capture a Tynamo for Science. When we make it back to Bianca and present the Tynamo to her, we discover that the ungrateful little ditz doesn’t want it, and indeed refuses even to look at the thing – she’s happy to stand around in the cave navel-gazing and wondering what Tynamo do with their lives. We leave in disgust, and soon find the north exit to the cave, emerging into the light of Mistralton City.

Stat Spread Adjustments

For our current state of progress on creating a new Pokémon, look here:
http://pokemaniacal.tumblr.com/post/44444376996/so-what-now
Study that post (and the comments) carefully before voting on the polls below.

I now want to see whether readers thing any adjustments to this thing’s stats and movepool (created by Thatswhatbradsaid) are called for. Each potential change has an individual poll, and I will not change something unless fewer than 33% of people are in favour of leaving it (if multiple possible changes are offered – as in the stats poll – the most popular change will be enacted, if “no change” gets less than 33% support). Anyway, here we go:

Turbo Wave

Squiddy has a signature move, Turbo Wave, which is effectively a special Water-type equivalent to V-Create: 180 power, 90% accuracy, reduces user’s defence, special defence and speed after use. Should this move be toned down?

Stats

The stats given to Squiddy by Thatswhatbradsaid are actually the lowest in total of all the submissions I received. In fact, I’ve actually seen suggestions that its defences could stand to be buffed. Here are some options. Obviously the number of possible permutations for this poll is enormous; I’ve tried to offer a few reasonable choices.

Movepool: various special attacks

This thing gets a lot of special attacks. Like, I think Normal, Fighting, Flying, Psychic and Rock are the only types he doesn’t have a good special attack from (and let us not forget that there are no good Rock-type special attacks). I don’t want to make a blanket statement on these, so I’m doing individual polls for everything questionable. Remember, I’ll only make a change if it has at least 67% support.

I’m making the executive decision that Zap Cannon is fine since using it is so risky. I would like to question Volt Switch separately from the other Electric attacks, however.

Movepool: Support moves

Questions have been raised about this thing’s support movepool, and since its primary role is clearly going to be sweeping anyway I’m not hugely concerned about that, but I have to wonder whether Baton Pass was totally necessary, and whether Calm Mind is thematically appropriate.

Movepool: Scald

Honestly, I think we can all agree that there’s no reason for this guy not to have Scald (I think Brad mentioned that it was an oversight?). Still, I want to make it official, so here’s a poll.

Y’know, I’m really beginning to feel the strain of the limitations placed on this kind of collaborative project by the format of this blog…

If you had the opportunity to retcon anything in the pokemon games (you know, things like slowpoke’s evolution not actually depending on shellder, and the ridiculous incense-dependent baby pokemon) what would it be?

Well, there are a lot of evolution methods I’d want to play with; not just things like linking Slowpoke and Shellder somehow, but just stuff like tweaking a bunch of evolutionary levels, throwing in stones or taking them out, adjusting the degree of happiness required for certain Pokémon to evolve, etc. Black and White, for instance, introduced a lot of Pokémon with really ridiculously high levels for evolution – apparently basing those levels on the points at which you first capture them in the game rather than on the relative power or rarity of the Pokémon in question, as previous games have. This gives you absurd things like Rufflet and Vullaby evolving at level 54, Mienfoo at 50, or Pawniard at 52, when comparable Pokémon in previous games would be more likely to evolve in their high twenties to mid thirties, anything as high as 50 being previously reserved for Pokémon like Salamence and Dragonite. I can understand the rationale for organising things this way – they don’t want you to catch these Pokémon and have them evolve almost immediately – but it results in them dragging their feet until the very end of the game, since other Pokémon have reached their final forms long ago. The reason I feel this is inappropriate is because it ties those Pokémon to specific stages of the game. What if, in future games, designers want Rufflet or Mienfoo to be available early (for whatever reason)? You’re faced with 30 or 40 levels of comparative uselessness on their part (it doesn’t help that they have no intermediate forms). At least Magikarp gets it over with fairly quickly. Slowpoke, Ponyta and Rhyhorn have to wait until 37, 40 and 42 respectively, and honestly I think anything more becomes unreasonable (and Rhyhorn, at least, is a lot stronger than most unevolved Pokémon).

Then there are a few Pokémon that are just weird – like Marill. For Azurill to become friendly enough to evolve into Marill can easily take until level 16 or so… and then Marill evolves almost immediately into Azumarill at level 18. I think that should really have been pushed up into the mid twenties when Azurill was released; thanks to Huge Power, Marill isn’t exactly a pushover anyway. Alternatively, Azurill could be tweaked to evolve earlier (along with most of the other ‘baby’ Pokémon – stuff like Pichu and Igglybuff really should be evolving sooner than stuff like Eevee and Riolu). I might also introduce a level requirement for the use of evolutionary stones (no level 2 Togekiss for you). Take the Sun Stone and Moon Stone requirements away from Sunflora and Delcatty, so there can be a possibility of evolving them again if future designers should will it so, and maybe paste them onto someone else instead (it seems like it would make a lot of thematic sense for Gothorita to evolve into Gothitelle by using a Moon stone, for instance). And for goodness’ sake, do something with Tyrogue’s ridiculous evolution method. Attack > Defense —> Hitmonlee – fine. Attack < Defense —> Hitmonchan – fine. Attack = Defense —> Hitmontop – much harder for no good reason, and also makes no sense since Hitmontop is easily the most defensively-oriented of the lot.

And yes, why not get rid of the incense while we’re at it? I understand the intent there; I get that they’re trying to maintain a degree of internal consistency between the games of different generations, but surely at some point we have to acknowledge that nobody actually cares? No-one is really going to go up to Game Freak and demand an explanation as to why you couldn’t breed a Mime Jr. in Gold and Silver. That’s what remakes are for!

Is there anything you would change about the gameplay mechanics if you could? Like would you want to add any other stats? Or maybe raise the amount of HP Pokemon get?

Well…

Can I just say “yes”?

I mean, not to either of those specifically, but just in general… yes. If you gave me control of those games I would rip out their guts and replace them with special stardust. To explain everything would take months. Luckily, this is exactly what I plan to do once I finish my Black 2/White 2 playthrough story.

White 2 Playthrough Journal, episode 14: Winter is coming

As Jim and I leave the Pokémon World Tournament, arguing about its relative merits, we nearly run straight into a Team Plasma grunt, who does a double take as he passes us, visibly panics, and bolts for the Driftveil docks – just as Hugh and Cheren emerge from the tournament building. Hugh sees the villain fleeing and is instantly ready to give chase, but his blood-curdling battle-cry is cut off when Colress appears right behind them and softly but firmly tells him to stop, warning him of the risk of tackling a powerful criminal organisation like Team Plasma and admonishing him for his recklessness. Hugh dismisses his concerns and proclaims that if there’s any chance of finding a lead on his sister’s Purrloin he is damn well going to go for it. Well, jeez, Hugh, that’s fine; go ahead and casually reveal, to a random scientist and a Gym Leader you don’t even like, the deep dark secret that you kept from your two closest friends for years; it’s all good. Cheren, who was a fairly militant opponent of Team Plasma himself back in the day, supports Hugh, and they both leave for the docks. Colress shakes his head with scorn at their overconfidence in their Pokémon. Surely they can’t believe that friendship and trust alone can protect them from hardened criminals with Pokémon of their own? Jim notes that a bunch of Team Plasma ruffians are unlikely to pose much of a problem for a Unova League Gym Leader; the fact that Hugh is a reasonably accomplished trainer in his own right is really just icing on the cake. In fact, you could almost say that they probably don’t need any help. There’s really no need for anyone else to go along at all. Colress gives him a reproachful frown, and I point out, with a sinking sense of foreboding, that as Hugh’s dearest friends we are responsible for both his safety and, to a lesser extent, the safety of those upon whom he chooses to inflict himself. We look at each other, sigh in unison, and reluctantly dash after Hugh and Cheren, leaving Colress quietly tutting to himself behind us.

The Team Plasma grunt seems to have disappeared into a large black sailing ship moored at a wharf near the Pokémon World Tournament – Team Plasma’s new base of operations? Cheren and Hugh are already rushing up the gangplank after him. We ask a nearby local whether she knows anything about the ship, and receive only the cryptic response “a ship’s not really a ship unless it’s crossing the ocean.” We stare at her in disbelief, respond “of course it is, you nitwit,” quietly shove her into the water, and board the ship. Hugh notes that there’s a strange coldness about this boat – and he’s right. It’s a pleasant Spring day in Driftveil City, but there’s a chill in the air that cuts right to the bone, and we can see our breath steaming in front of us. I glance nervously at Jim. Reshiram and Zekrom are gone, and there’s no telling where or for how long, but wasn’t there a third legendary dragon in Unova? One with the power to fill the air around it with a terrible supernatural cold? Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I point insistently at the gangplank. Jim shrugs helplessly and gestures to Hugh and Cheren, who have their backs to us and are looking around the deck. I glare at him, point at our allies, firmly draw a finger across my neck, and then point at the deck beneath me before throwing my hands in the air, miming an explosion. Jim stares incredulously, holds up four fingers, mimes sneaking, and jerks a thumb over his shoulder towards the gangplank. I stare back, roll my eyes and hold up three fingers instead. Jim cocks his head slightly, thinks about it and shrugs. We turn back in the direction of the gangplank.

There’s a Team Plasma grunt standing in the way.

Well, $#!t.

Pokéballs fly non-stop for the next ten minutes. At first, each of us has a single Team Plasma member to take care of, but this arrangement quickly proves far too simple for anyone’s taste; first I pair up with Jim and Hugh with Cheren for a pair of double battles, then we trade partners, and before long all of us become embroiled in a complex set of three intertwined rotation battles, at which point we collectively admit that the whole thing has basically become a free-for all. I’m pretty sure that, at one point, I was partnered with two Team Plasma grunts in a triple battle against Cheren, another grunt, and my own Scolipede. I see a Liepard, and the thought briefly flashes through my head that the Purrloin Hugh is searching for might have evolved, but I can’t get Hugh’s attention any more than I can tell whose Pokémon is whose at this point. Someone makes an unflattering comparison between Hugh’s hair and a Qwilfish, which… actually, yeah, okay; fair call. I am desperately trying to keep track of a quintuple rotating Contest battle when I suddenly realise that one of my opponents is, in fact, myself and frantically call for a time out, causing everyone present to collapse immediately from a combination of relief and exhaustion.

It is, I am later forced to admit, the most fun I’ve had in years.

An old man in a heavy purple robe emerges from below decks and demands to know what right we have to be snooping around on his ship. Cheren studies his face for a moment, names him as Zinzolin, one of Rood’s former colleagues in the Seven Sages, and tells him that we have every right to investigate the activity of a notorious criminal group. Zinzolin furiously proclaims that Team Plasma’s intent remains unchanged – to use a legendary Dragon Pokémon to rule Unova (well, that confirms it, then) – and summons the Shadow Triad to remove us. The Shadow Triad, Team Plasma’s three magical ninjas, appear before us in a puff of smoke and begin to tell Zinzolin, “by the way, we are not your-” but he cuts them off and insists that they do this for him anyway. Not his- underlings? Of course; the Shadow Triad never worked for Team Plasma, N, or the Seven Sages. They were personally loyal to Ghetsis alone – which means he’s back. Joy of joys. The Shadow Triad blink us off the ship, and when we regain awareness, the ship and everyone on it is gone.

Damnit; how the hell do they do that!?

Well, Hugh and Cheren are both alive, which means we’ve done our bit. Time to continue our journey and forget about Team Plasma completely! I’m sure everything will sort itself out in due course now that Cheren is on the case. Besides, if Unova expects us to be socially responsible then it deserves everything it gets. As Jim and I head back in the direction of Driftveil City proper, our eyes are drawn to a cave entrance near the Pokémon World Tournament grounds. We question a construction worker in the area and learn that this is the north entrance to the Relic Passage, the ancient tunnel network that connects to the Castelia sewers. The Relic Passage, Jim recalls, is inhabited by weirdoes of every conceivable shape and size, but the two of us together should be fine, and anyway it’s our duty as archaeologists to loot- er… I mean… to preserve everything we can find in the site. The worker guarding the entrance listens patiently to our spiel about the value of the past and the importance of knowledge, before waving us through and explaining that no-one really cares about the Relic Passage anyway; he’s just stationed there so it looks like things are under control. As we investigate the Relic Passage, we quickly develop a hypothesis about the place: the popular belief that it was built by ancient people is absolute rubbish. The degree of organisation required to build a tunnel like this would be immense – and no-one going to that sort of effort would waste time building the kind of pointless loops and dead ends that fill the place. Any human group capable of building something like this would be capable of building it according to a halfway sensible design. Besides, it has none of the hallmarks of human construction. It does seem to have been used by humans, though. The tunnel connects the sites of Driftveil City and Castelia City – major cities are almost always built on sites that have been used before, often for millennia. We also find an entrance to the lower levels of the Relic Castle, the site of another ancient city, though we are quickly chased away by the castle’s guardian Volcarona. We conclude, eventually, that the Relic Passage may have started life as a series of unconnected Onix nests which were later taken over by humans and joined together, probably using captured Onix, to create an unbroken path – hence the seemingly random design (construction almost undoubtedly went through several false starts). Resourceful, if nothing else, and seemingly indicative of extensive trade and travel between Driftveil, Castelia and the Desert Resort. We make plans to take a few months later in the year to write an article for an archaeological journal, and move on.

We complete our trip through the Relic Passage and emerge in the Castelia sewers. Refusing to touch the filthy ground, I command my largest Pokémon, Sansa the Ampharos, to carry me out of the sewer. Jim rolls his eyes and follows. When we emerge once more into the light, Jim immediately summons his Ducklett, Lydia, grabs her by the legs and holds her up in the air. I ask him what on earth he’s doing, and he replies that he’s flying back to Driftveil City. I protest that I don’t have a flying Pokémon yet, but he just shrugs and whistles at Lydia. As Jim soars into the sky, dangling from Lydia’s legs like a hang-glider, I pull Daenerys’ Pokéball from my belt and call her out. I lift my Trapinch into the air over my head and say, as imperiously as I can, “now, Fly!” Daenerys twists her head to look down at me, bemused, and makes a clicking sound. I sigh, recall her to her Pokéball, and begin the long walk back to Driftveil City.

If the games were more like the anime… in the sense that keeping a Pokemon from Evolving doesn’t hinder it statistically and that a Bulbasaur can actively compete against a full grown Venusaur and win as well as any other family, are there any Pokemon you’d choose to keep unevolved, or at least the first ones that come to mind? Also would you like it if the games gave you the option to not evolve your Pokemon but gain the stat growths of their evolutions instead?

Well, yes and no. What I would like is for evolving a Pokémon to be a choice, which is how the anime presents it – but I don’t want an unevolved Pokémon to have all the same strengths and skills as an evolved Pokémon, because then you turn evolution into a purely aesthetic change and the idea itself loses a lot of its power. Keeping a Pokémon unevolved when you could evolve it should have drawbacks, signficant ones – you’re giving up (or at least delaying the acquisition of) incredible abilities and, usually, greater physical strength – but it should also have benefits, I think. The introduction of the Eviolite (although intended, I believe, to help the many late-evolving Pokémon of Black and White survive and contribute until they reach their final forms) already moves us in this direction, and we actually can see now certain Pokémon capable of competing with their own evolved forms – Chansey, for example, has far fewer viable attack options but with an Eviolite actually becomes tougher than Blissey, even accounting for Blissey’s free item slot for Leftovers, while Eviolite Dusclops is arguably just a better Pokémon than Dusknoir. Porygon2 and Porygon-Z are harder to compare because they fill completely different roles anyway, but again, Porygon2 is arguably the stronger. Vigoroth is a weird case, because Slaking is such a weird Pokémon, but again, he’s arguably better than his own evolved form. The Eviolite allows defensive Pokémon to shine, but I think greater diversity is called for – new mechanisms to create unevolved Pokémon which are, perhaps, weaker than their evolved forms but more flexible, or alternatively less flexible but able to execute very specific strategies effectively (Light Ball Pikachu, Deep Sea Tooth Clamperl, and Eviolite Trapinch, anyone?) The difficulty, of course, is in devising these mechanisms such that they don’t break the Pokémon who are already effective without evolving completely, like Dusclops and Chansey. I haven’t gotten that far yet. Must start on ideas.

This kind of thing could become really interesting when you look at Pokémon who change dramatically when they evolve – the one who comes immediately to mind for me is Exeggcute. How might an Exeggcute be more effective in battle than an Exeggutor? Superior reaction times, perhaps? Tactical flexibility as a result of its multiple bodies? And how to represent that without necessitating a radical departure from present game mechanics? Tricky. Some others that might present interesting puzzles include Munchlax, Dragonair, Eevee, Teddiursa, Shelgon and Pupitar, Murkrow, and perhaps Karrablast and Shelmet.

Are there any other monster-collecting series besides pokemon you enjoy, such as Monster Rancher, Shin Megami Tensei, or even the incredibly obscure Jade Cocoon? If so, how would you say they compare to Pokemon, in terms of style, atmosphere, and gameplay? (Non-video game series are also welcome, in which case you could cross out the gameplay comparison) It’d be really fascinating to hear your take on them.

Well… not really, no. I hate to break it to you but I’m really just a Pokémon guy. I think I’ve heard of Shin Megami Tensei, but I always thought it was, like, a manga about magical girl superheroes or something.

Um. So yeah.

I used to watch Digimon as a kid. That $#!t was legit.