Yes, no, no, hell yes.
Chansey and Blissey are those pokemon that everyone hates, but always avoid getting banned. If either or both of them got a mega evolution, how would you handle it (besides “don’t”)? For me it would be to crank up Blissey’s special attack and special defense with a little sliver of extra defense and make it Normal/Fairy, and I imagine that would be gamefreak’s mindset, which may be enough of a drastic powerup to push it into ubers, but you usually have different approaches to these things.
Funnily enough, I’m kind of okay with the idea of Mega Blissey being a thing, because at the moment we have this weird situation where Blissey is actually overshadowed by Eviolite Chansey, because Blissey’s main advantages over Chansey are greater special attack (who cares?) and Leftovers (meh, they have Softboiled). That… brings up an interesting point. Evolving into Blissey doesn’t actually make Chansey significantly better at her core role: her HP and defence only increase by minuscule amounts, and Chansey is already so good at special defence that Blissey’s extra points aren’t a huge deal (besides, Eviolite). The real difference is that Blissey can actually use attacks. So… if we’re doing a Mega Blissey, why not embrace that? Put most of her mega evolution bonus points into special attack and speed. Either leave her other stats as-is or only give token increases, maybe even cut her special defence a bit (there’s precedent for that; Mega Garchomp is slower than regular Garchomp). Looking at something like [255/15/15/135/120/100]. Do some kind of vaguely seraphic design, lots of feathers and too many wings. Add some gold to the colour scheme. Make Serene Grace her sole ability, or even make a jacked-up version that triples the odds of weird stuff happening, just for fun (Thunder with 90% paralysis chance FTW!) – if that sounds like too much, remember that Blissey has no good special STAB; even if we go Normal/Fairy she’s only got Dazzling Gleam, which doesn’t synergise with Serene Grace (EDIT: correction; Alpha Sapphire and Omega Ruby have a move tutor for Hyper Voice – still, that doesn’t work with Serene Grace either). If there is even a slight chance of a weird-ass [Gravity – Blizzard – Thunder – Fire Blast] set becoming a thing, I’ll be happy.
Rivals, part 4: Hugh

What kind of a name is Hugh, anyway?
…um… Germanic, maybe? It doesn’t sound like a Latin or Greek root. Google it?
Doing it now. Hmm; Old French, apparently.
Oh, right; that makes sense.
Ultimately from a Germanic root, though – ‘hug,’ meaning ‘mind’ or ‘spirit.’ And it gets into Mediaeval Latin from there. Declines as Hugo, Hugonis.
That’s disgusting.
What, ‘mind’ or ‘spirit’?
No, Mediaeval Latin.
Oh, that goes without saying. It’s an appropriate name at any rate; Hugh certainly isn’t lacking in spirit.
No indeed, burdened with something of an overabundance of it, I would think. What do you think of him?
I like that his storyline provides a link to the old games, as someone who was personally affected by what happened back then. He makes the whole thing seem more real, shows us the wider consequences of all that plot. And he sets up conflict with the ex-Team Plasma guys, Rood’s bunch, which would otherwise fall flat because the player just isn’t going to have the same emotional reaction to them and is going to listen to them with a bit of a more neutral perspective.
Mmm. I think it’s important to have someone like Hugh in the story, someone uncompromising, because one of the important themes of those games is the idea that recognising that the ideas of people who are opposed to you can be important and valuable – like, the problem with Team Plasma, the way the games present it-
Besides secretly wanting to take over the world.
–well, yes, besides that, their problem isn’t that they want to change the way people relate to Pokémon; their problem is that they’re uncompromising. They’re zealots. You see that most clearly in Castelia City, with Burgh, because he actually says explicitly that he wants to incorporate some of their ideas into his training philosophy; he thinks they have a point, and they absolutely do. They refuse to make that kind of concession to our side, though. And I think it’s important to have Hugh in the game as someone on the ‘good’ side who is equally uncompromising, just to stress that you can have that kind of problem from both sides of a conflict, because there isn’t really a ‘good’ character like that in the original games.
What about Cheren? He’s pretty black-and-white, if you’ll excuse the pun.

Oh, I think the pun is entirely appropriate; I think that’s very much a part of what the developers meant by choosing those titles. But go on.
Well, Cheren is fairly uncompromising in his attitude to Team Plasma; there’s never any question in his mind that they could be anything other than thugs. He’s still pretty hardline about them by the time Black and White 2 come around.
True, but Cheren in the original games sort of has surprisingly little involvement with the Team Plasma storyline. Looking back through it, it’s actually really weird how little he does. He helps you in the really short fight at Wellspring Cave, then again when you corner Zinzolin and a bunch of grunts in Driftveil City, where he actually seems totally dismissive of them – he talks about fighting them for Clay so that he can get stronger, like they’re just target practice for him. Then he… goes to the Dragonspiral Tower with Brycen, but they don’t show up until the party’s over, and he’s there when you fight Team Plasma in the Relic Castle but doesn’t say or do anything important; likewise at the final showdown with N at the palace of the Elite Four. I don’t think he ever says a single word to either N or Ghetsis again after you first meet them in Accumula Town.
Whereas Hugh gets involved pretty much every time you meet or fight Team Plasma in Black and White 2 and has lots of dialogue with them; I see your point. He has personal motivation that Cheren doesn’t, and his emotions ride a lot higher. Cheren’s much more distanced and logical about the whole thing. Still, Hugh and Cheren do have a lot in common, aside from Hugh being so much more hot-tempered. They sort of bond a little, don’t they?
Do they? As I recall, Hugh is rather prickly towards him. You remember that scene just after winning your first badge, outside the Gym, where Hugh is waiting to challenge Cheren? Cheren says he needs to go back inside and get ready, but Hugh get mad and calls him a coward or something because he wanted to have his challenge right then and there, in the street!
Oh, Hugh’s attitude improves later, after his Gym battle. “Cheren sure knows a lot, and he fought those Team Plasma thugs too;” that’s from the part where Cheren teaches you how dark grass works – Hugh comes to admire his skill and conviction very quickly. Which sort of makes sense, because Hugh’s a lot like Cheren was in the first games, in the kind of singleminded drive he has. Cheren doesn’t have any direction, though; he just wants to be stronger for the sake of strength itself, whereas Hugh has a very clearly defined goal; he wants to get his sister’s Purrloin back, or, failing that, avenge its loss. Actually, when you think of it that way, he sort of combines Cheren and Bianca’s most important personality traits into one character – he’s like Bianca in that he’s enthusiastic and energetic, and wants more out of strength than just being strong, and like Cheren in that he’s determined and focused.
Hmm. I hadn’t thought of it like that; that’s a neat way of looking at it, structurally. So, moving on… if you remember when we played Black and White 2 together http://pokemaniacal.tumblr.com/tagged/b2w2, we had this sort of running joke where we thought Hugh was a bit of a psychopath? A couple of people were actually a little upset by it, I think.
Ah, it was all in the spirit of fun. How much of what you write is ever 100% serious?
I kinda did mean it, though! Well, some of it, anyway. The stuff his own damn parents say about him in Aspertia City-
Wait, he has parents?
Yes! Hang on, I quoted them in the entry; let me just find it… here http://pokemaniacal.tumblr.com/post/39827151998/white-2-playthrough-journal-episode-1-where-the. Yeah, when you talk to his mother she says that she hopes you’ll keep Hugh on the right path and stop him from getting into trouble because he’s – and here I quote – “the sort of person who lets his rage build up inside him.” And his father starts to say “his goal is…” and then just trails off ominously. I mean, really, how the hell was I supposed to take that?
…well, after lines like that I think everything else you said was entirely justified. Doesn’t he kind of blow up at someone early on for being careless with their Pokémon?
Yeah, outside Floccesy Town when the farmer’s Herdier wanders off and he screams at them because it could be lost or dead or whatever. And there’s that whole obsession he has with his own rage…
Don’t forget his ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ attitude towards all Team Plasma, including Rood’s guys. Kid does have his ‘ticking time bomb’ moments from time to time.
In fairness, Hugh’s attitude does make a certain amount of sense eventually, once you get his backstory. Even his outburst against the farmer in Floccesy Town – I mean, I still don’t think that was reasonable, but coming from someone with his particular background, it’s understandable that he might feel that way. And, like, to be completely fair to him, there actually was a Team Plasma operative skulking around when that Herdier got lost! I mean… kind of a low percentage contingency there, but still…
And he gets better, too.
Mmm. That’s basically his whole character development right there – learning to take a more nuanced perspective on everything that’s happening in Unova while still retaining his core ideals. And that kind of culminates when he does his Inspiring Speech at the… y’know, the meteor crater, where Kyurem lives…
The Giant Chasm.
That’s the one. You know, when Rood shows up with a bunch of Team Plasma separatists to… I guess, like… stage a peaceful protest or something similarly useless, and Hugh encourages them to fight for their beliefs, recognising now that they’re fundamentally on the same side as him despite their past actions.
I remember. I think what I got from that mostly sounded like “you may be a vegetarian, but the time to eat meat is NOW!” They’re pacifists in the first place because their Pokémon are ones that they stole as part of Team Plasma and they think they have a duty to help and protect them now. The ideals that Hugh asks them to sacrifice are… literally what separates them from the people they’d be fighting.
Mmm.
And what good does it do, anyway? You and Hugh are both there, and who are you fighting anyway? A bunch of grunts? And Rood just has a bunch of his own grunts. Are they really going to be all that helpful?
Well, I think the idea is more that there are a lot of Ghetsis’ minions around, and it would take you a while to deal with all of them. Rood’s forces can help you to push through more quickly. And I would imagine that Rood himself is probably comparable in skill to Zinzolin, so he’s not exactly a pushover. Besides, however much we pick at the rhetoric, it does work.
Well, yeah, but Team Plasma grunts aren’t exactly hard to influence. He asks them “why do you have Pokémon by your sides?” and if actually you think about that for a minute, the answer is… well… because they stole the lot of them two years ago, haven’t been able to return them to their original trainers for one reason or another, and feel responsible for taking care of them. The idea is there, the spirit is there, the eloquence…
Is wanting.
It doesn’t really help that Hugh doesn’t quite seem to know what the word ‘ideals’ actually means.
Well, to be perfectly honest, I don’t think anyone in the entire fifth generation knows what the word ‘ideals’ means, not even Zekrom. Or ‘truth’ for that matter.
Oh, they definitely don’t know what ‘truth’ means. But back to Hugh. Is his head a durian?
A… durian?

Yeah, the fruit. His hair looks like a big blue durian.
I always placed him as more of a hedgehog, actually. Sorta reminds me of Sonic, now that I think of it. So, uh… does this mean we’re running out of things to say?
Well, I think that whether Hugh’s head is a durian is a very important question, but I suppose we could wrap it up.
I guess if I had to sum up Hugh in one phrase, really at any point in the story, it would be “the ends justify the means” – which, again, is interesting because it’s the same kind of attitude that typifies Team Plasma, and a lot of other Pokémon villains as well, actually, particularly Maxie and Archie.
He puts his own ideals ahead of those of others.
Exactly.
At the same time though, he’s one of the most ‘complete’ people at the end of the story. The games leave him in a place that makes sense; he’s learned a lot and he’s more of a whole and happy person. He even gets Purrloin back in the end – well, Liepard now, but still – and in the process he’s managed to find it in himself to forgive the ex-Team Plasma guys in Rood’s faction.
Yeah. I still think he’s a bit nuts, but I really like the perspective he adds to the game and how he shows us someone who was personally affected by Team Plasma’s past actions – and gives context to Rood and the separatists’ desire to atone for their crimes. I think people tend to regard Black and White as better games than the sequels, but the sequels do a lot of things right too, and Hugh is one of them, more or less!
Why do you think Pokemon only learn a maximum of four moves at once? And also, why do you think some Pokemon can’t learn specific moves but their pre-evolutions can? An example would be Lombre, it can learn Hydro Pump in level 59(?) but Ludicolo can’t.
1) Well, the obvious answer is for gameplay reasons, but that’s probably not what you’re asking. I think a good starting point would be thinking about what ‘knowing’ a move actually entails. Do they just get these powers, have them, and then never have to practice them? I’d think not. I mean, that’s not how martial arts or sports work in the real world. You have to practice your skills constantly in order to be any good, and it’s not like you can just, like, practice firing a Flamethrower straight forward on level ground and be done with it; you want to be accurate from as many different positions and under as many different conditions as possible. Maybe five moves is just too much for most Pokémon to keep up that kind of skill level?
2) I think Ludicolo is actually sort of a bad example, because Pokémon that evolve using stones normally lose the ability to learn most moves by leveling, and that’s probably to do with the same ‘old dog, new tricks’ mentality that’s behind most evolved Pokémon learning the same moves but more slowly – the older forms are more set in their ways; they might learn new applications for skills they already have, but completely new abilities are just more complicated than they want to deal with. A more interesting example would be the transition from Lotad to Lombre, because Lombre actually continues to learn new moves, just different ones – Fake Out instead of Mist, Water Sport instead of Mega Drain, and so on. Obviously nothing physically prevents Lombre from being able to use the moves Lotad could learn, but it won’t learn them if you try to teach it, and I think maybe that’s because, specifically for Pokémon that work like this, learning the move is somehow tied to the mindset that comes with being smaller and weaker. Once they’ve got the skill they can maintain it by remembering how they felt when they learned it, but if they never learned it in the first place they just can’t see themselves needing it in the same way – like “sure, little kids have to learn to do that to protect themselves (or something) but I’m grown up now; why would I need that?”
X Nuzlocke, episode 2: For the Swarm
Route 3
Melissa: Here it is; here it is! This is the end of the forest!
Spruce: Santalune City should be right over this next ridge.
Ruby: About time. Human, let- put me- let go of me, idiot! Ah! Finally.
Melissa: Come on, come on! We need to hurry!
Ruby: What’s the rush? You two have all day tomorrow to do your… quest thing or whatever and indulge your delusions of adequacy.
Melissa: Oh, I know, but it’s so important and so exciting!
Spruce: Maybe you should just tell us more about who we’re fighting?
Ruby: Yes, please do; what you’ve told us so far has been so excruciatingly riveting.
Melissa: She’s an evil, evil witch with a Vivillon who lures Bug Pokémon away from the forest by promising to make them stronger and takes them away from the hive! They just want to make all the Bug Pokémon in the Santalune Forest into their slaves!
Spruce: Why would anyone do something like that?
Melissa: I don’t know, but we have to stop them! If the hive gets weaker none of us will know what to do anymore! The hive is our whole life!
Fletchling: ‘scuse me, mates, couldn’t ‘elp but over’ear…
Melissa: Who said that?
Fletchling: I did. Up ‘ere. And if you don’t mind my say so, sounds like you might be in need of some muscle for ‘ire.
Ruby: Hmm… come down here where I can see you properly, bird.
Fletchling: No problem at all. Bodkin’s the name. You need air support, I’m your bloke – long as you got the dough for it. Looks like you already got yourself a bird on your team though. Doin’ all right there, mate?
Spruce: Uh… fine, thanks.
Bodkin: ‘oo’s in charge ‘ere, then? You got a trainer, looks like.
Ruby: Oh, for- Ignore the ape! Really, why would anyone pay the slightest attention to him with such a vision of incandescent power as myself in view?
Bodkin: And ‘oo are you then, guv’nor?
Ruby: I am Ruby the Fennekin, fiery jewel among Pokémon, sorceress supreme! Perhaps you’ve heard of me?
Bodkin: [staring] …you what?
Ruby: [sighs] It was worth a try.
Bodkin: ‘ey, I’m sure you’re a great celebrity in other parts, but I’m only an ‘umble mercenary. I dunno nothin’ about sorceresses and the like. Like I said, though, sounds to me like you’re lookin’ to challenge the Santalune Gym. Ain’t nothin’ better than a quick Flying-type to ‘elp you clean that place out.
Ruby: What’s the catch?
Bodkin: Well, like I said, I’m a bit of a materialist, luv. I’ll fight wherever, whenever and ‘ooever you want, but you gotta meet my fee. Two evolutionary stones and a nugget, all in advance.
Spruce: That’s a bit steep!
Bodkin: Heh. What’s she payin’ you, mate?
Spruce: I- she’s not paying me anything! I’m here to go on adventures, help people, and do good things!
Bodkin: Hah! Seriously? Well, aren’t you adorable? And what about the crispy little luncheon roll ‘ere?
Melissa: [giggles] I might be a meal for you, but whole flocks of you would be just a snack for the hive.
Bodkin: …uh… h’okay, then. Um. [to Ruby] Well, luv? What’s it to be?
Ruby: Two evolutionary stones and a nugget. Hmm. Would you accept, say… a frosted Poké Puff and this Pidgey?
Spruce: Wait, what?
Bodkin: Hah! That’s a good one, luv! Mind you… [glances at Spruce] Mmm… tempting… but no, no can do.
Spruce: Wait, what?
Bodkin: Tell you what; you made me laugh, so forget the stones. I ain’t got the contacts to sell ‘em at the moment anyway. That’s my best price, that is.
Ruby: Regrettably I… find myself a little short on nuggets at the moment. Along with most of the other trappings of power… like competent inferiors…
Bodkin: That’s a right bleedin’ shame, that is. Well, if we ain’t got no business, I’d best be off, then – but you remember my name. Might be useful if you come into a bit o’ cash, eh?
Ruby: Mmm. Quite.
Bodkin: Until next time!
Spruce: It was nice meeting you!
Bodkin: And yourself, mate. You look me up if you’re ever around ‘ere and fancy a bit o’ fun, yeah? [winks]
Spruce: …I am so confused.
How does electrode use rain dance?
Hmm. Interesting that you would single out Electrode. Why? Isn’t it a little bizarre that any Pokémon can use Rain Dance at all? Even for a Water-type, altering weather patterns is a fairly spectacular application of power that ought to have wide-reaching ecological impacts – let alone for the frankly ridiculous array of other Pokémon that somehow have access to this thing (pretty much “everything that isn’t a Grass- or Fire-type, and some things that are”).
I’m inclined to think that you’re asking about Electrode specifically because it’s so odd to imagine Electrode ‘dancing,’ but I really don’t think this is the right question. In Japanese, Rain Dance is called Amagoi, which Bulbapedia translates as “Rain Prayer” – as far as I can tell (bearing in mind that I cannot speak or read Japanese), it seems to be a generic term for any sort of rainmaking ceremony; “Rain Dance” is really the best equivalent we have in English because it gets across the sense of ritual, of the invocation of some kind of god or spirit – in that sense I actually think it’s quite an apt translation, although it’s unfortunate that it comes packaged with those connotations of lively physical activity. Most of the other European languages into which Pokémon is translated seem to do the same thing as English – Regentanz, Danse Pluie, Χορός Βροχής, Danza lluvia and Dança da Chuva all include the word for “dance” and all have a meaning that goes back well before Pokémon, probably as a direct result of influence from the English phrase (with the odd exception of Pioggiadanza, which has the same literal meaning but, as far as I can tell, is a brand of shampoo). It probably isn’t necessary, in fact, to imagine the Pokémon dancing as they use this move – we can, and some of them very well may if they find it appropriate, but it’s likely that others chant, or pray in silence, or some combination, or something completely different. The common thread with all of them, what they’re all doing the same, is the sense of appeal to a higher power of some description. The details of how the invocation works may not be terribly relevant.
In short, the answer to your question is “the same way as everyone else!”
I’m something of a newbie to Pokemon, but I am an absolute fan of worldbuilding and character building and GIVING POKEMON MORE AGENCY. So, what do you think of an idea of having Pokemon on your team give you sidequests? Not an AI sort of thing, just randomly get some from a large pool, based on type, level, and some individual ones. Boosting friendship, or dunking it when you botch the quest. Maybe some will want to be used against others or a certain type, while others (cont)
Question continues: “…would like to NOT face those. Some will maybe want to face certain Gym Leaders or Elite Four, while others would be afraid of them? I feel like this has the potential of being very annoying, but also it can be developed into a whole new game mechanic of managing Pokemon desires / convincing them of something. (For example, train a Pokemon against many Bug-types to make it less reluctant to face a Bug-type Gym Leader) What do you think?”
I very much think that this would be a good thing to have. I actually made a similar suggestion here and some other bits and pieces here, but in both cases it was sort of tangential to wider points I was making and I didn’t really talk about it from this angle. I sort of suspect that the reason Game Freak don’t try something like this is because of the sheer number of Pokémon that people often collect in the course of playing these games, and how utterly unmanageable it quickly becomes to try giving even a thin semblance of personality to each of them (that, and I can imagine it being very difficult to write this kind of content, given that Pokémon don’t talk). However, I think a kind of modular quest system along the lines you describe would have the potential to work quite smoothly – some quests that can be offered repeatedly by many Pokémon, others that can only happen once, some that are offered by Pokémon of a particular type, or species, or nature, maybe some that are triggered by things like using unusual items in battle or being knocked out under certain circumstances… and it doesn’t have to be all of your Pokémon doing this all the time in order to create at least a general impression that some of them, some of the time, might speak up with particular desires. Something similar worked for the Digimon World games, after all.
What’s your stance on pokeballs? Manga, anime, and games seems to treat them differently. I dissected Gladont’s response on chemical alteration and supposedly could work for the anime; except there are examples that opposes his statement of pokemon suddenly turning 180 too. His argument works better for games yet why hasn’t N said it? Real sad truth = there is nothing clear, it’s inconsistent evidence. This is why game theories typically ignore factors or else it fails (and also no fun allowed).
I’m just gonna copy-paste some stuff from the Disqus comments on that post to start this off:
GLaDONT: I believe pokeballs are the bad thing that happened in the past, at some point along the way we developed storage devices that maybe at the time had unintended side affects of affecting a pokemon’s nature. We have seen mutilpe times in the anime unwilling pokemn turning 180 after capture. I think the idea is pokeballs can make any pokemon your partner whether it wants it or not, making what may have once been a voluntary friendship into something darker.
Pokémaniac Chris: I don’t really want to devote all that much attention to poking holes in the ‘brainwashing’ thing, *or* to plugging those holes; mostly my problem with it is that it seems *too obvious*. Whatever’s going on, I think, has to have been more subtle in order to go unnoticed. At the moment, I think that Pokéballs are a problem because they symbolise the way industrialisation and modernity have changed Pokémon training. Without Pokéballs, it’s hard for one person to keep a large number of Pokémon, it’s hard for people to travel with Pokémon, it’s hard to create spaces in towns and cities where you can exclude Pokémon, and it’s hard to ignore your Pokémon even for a short time. None of these things are direct and necessary consequences of using Pokéballs, but they’re ways in which the relationship *can* change and develop because of them.
I don’t believe that Pokéballs ‘brainwash’ Pokémon in any absolute sense. I do wonder whether it’s possible they could alter Pokémon’s brain chemistry in a way that makes them more suggestible – not so they actually can’t disobey an order or anything like that, more so that, in most circumstances, most Pokémon will be easily persuaded to obey orders. I don’t think that’s what happens, but I also don’t think it’s easy to prove it’s not happening, and I really don’t want to start rewatching anime episodes hunting for examples and counterexamples, because seriously f&$% that. Mostly I think that my sort of explanation is just more consistent with the themes of the series – the way it presents the contrasts between tradition and progress, and between nature and civilisation. Some kind of scenario where Pokéballs alter the brain chemistry of Pokémon almost seems to necessitate a sort of bizarre conspiracy on the part of the makers of Pokéballs – because it seems clear that most people aren’t aware of any compulsion or mind-altering influence – or an even more bizarre accident of the workings of the technology that was somehow never noticed. That’s why I prefer to imagine that the problems with Pokéballs stem from things you might not even think of when you first started using them, or even from things that seem obviously beneficial at first, but turn out to be double-edged swords. Pokéballs reduce the constraints of food and space – which means that you can have more Pokémon, and will inevitably pay less attention to each one (early excesses in this regard may have led to criminal neglect that ultimately resulted in laws limiting an active party to six Pokémon – in fact I think this is a much more likely explanation than anything related to battles, since the vast majority of battles use far fewer Pokémon than six anyway). Pokéballs allow you to travel easily with Pokémon – which means you can take them far away from their native habitats and don’t have to think too hard about what you’re doing. Once Pokéballs are in common use, it’s easy for civic governments to enforce legislation (if they choose to enact it) that excludes Pokémon from certain buildings or areas, because asking someone just to recall their Pokémon is never going to seem like an unreasonable request. Pokémon can and sometimes do leave their balls without being called, but they also can’t seem to ignore being recalled unless they can actually dodge the beam, so if you just don’t want to deal with them right now you can always enforce a short ‘time out.’ None of this actually compels Pokémon to do anything; all of it puts trainers in a greater position of implicit authority than they would otherwise have – and to me that’s actually a much more interesting situation than a global brainwashing conspiracy.
X Nuzlocke, episode 1: Fiery Jewel Among Pokémon, Sorceress Supreme
Route 2
Ruby: You there! You, Pidgey!
Pidgey: Me?
Ruby: Do you see another Pidgey around here? Yes, you! My human and I require directions to the Santalune Forest. Quickly now!
Pidgey: Oh- the entrance to the main trail is right over that way; you just turn left at the rock that looks like a dead Zigzagoon and you can’t miss it.
Ruby: Mmm. Adequate. Thank you for your time, commoner. Come, human.
Pidgey: Um! Wait a minute! Excuse me!
Ruby: Yes, what is it?
Pidgey: Um, excuse me, but – human, are you- are you a trainer?
Ruby: He is; what of it?
Pidgey: You’re not, um… you’re not looking for Pokémon for your team at all, are you?
Ruby: He… might be.
Pidgey: Oh, wow; this is so amazing! I- I can help you! I can! I-
Ruby: No, look, ignore the human. The human is an idiot. He can’t even understand us. Get down here. I said down here! Stop fluttering about like that!
Pidgey: Sorry, sorry. This is all just so exciting!
Ruby: Yes, well, I suppose it’s not every day that one meets such an exquisite specimen of Pokémonhood as myself. You are forgiven, commoner. Tell me your name.
Pidgey: My name is Spruce! I’m a Pidgey and I live right here on the edges of Santalune Forest and I’ve always wanted to go with a human trainer and grow big and strong and maybe even evolve one day so I can travel and do good things and help people and it’d be so cool if I could go with you and your trainer and do all of those things!
Ruby: Really. How quaint.
Spruce: What about you? What’s your name?
Ruby: I? I am Ruby the Fennekin, fiery jewel among Pokémon, sorceress supreme! Perhaps you’ve heard of me.
Spruce: Er… yes. Oh, yes; I recognise you now! Of course I have!
Ruby: Ah; then you know of my battle against the dread Raticate King?
Spruce: Well, yeah!
Ruby: And you have heard the story of my dramatic victory in the Tournament of Sapphires?
Spruce: Who hasn’t?
Ruby: And perhaps you are even familiar with how I liberated the Pokémon of Kanto from the oppression of Team Rocket?
Spruce: That’s my favourite one of the lot!
Ruby: [narrowing her eyes] I’ve never done any of those things.
Spruce: …oh.
Ruby: You’ve never actually heard of me, have you?
Spruce: Well… well, not- not exactly, no. But they do say that flattery is the sincerest form of- um… something!
Ruby: [sighs] Quite.
Spruce: And- and I still really do want to join you! And help others and do good things!
Ruby: Look, when you say ‘others,’ are you prepared for those ‘others’ to be me? And when you say ‘good things’ are you prepared for that to mean things that are good for me?
Spruce: Sure! We all have to help each other in the world, right? That way we can all make the world a better place together and-
Ruby: Yeah, yeah, whatever; look, just remember, you work for me, not the human, is that clear?
Spruce: Sure thing! You can count on me, Ruby!
Ruby: Then so it shall be! Human! DEPLOY YOUR SORCEROUS ORB!
Let’s Nuzlocke X
This is going to end horribly.
Let’s do it.
Rules are as follows:
1. As is standard in Hard Mode, or the ‘Nuzlocke Challenge’ as it is most often called, only one Pokémon may be captured on each route, and it must be the first wild Pokémon encountered – and of course, any Pokémon that is defeated in battle is killed and can no longer be used.
2. Because I am terrible enough at these without further restrictions, I’ll be playing with the ‘shift’ battle style that gives you a free switch after knocking out an opponent. The Generation VI Exp. Share, on the other hand, is clearly too much to be reasonable and will be switched firmly off.
3. If I see a shiny Pokémon, I’m damn well catching it, regardless of the circumstances; I won’t use it though, unless it happens to be the first one I encounter in an area.
4. If the whole team is wiped, I am slain along with them in an inappropriately comical fashion and my journey ends, even if there are still Pokémon alive in the PC.
5. Because of reasons, I need to practice my German. Therefore, that’s the language I’ll be playing in. My German is appalling. What could possibly go wrong?
6. This is almost certainly going to be a very, very silly Nuzlocke.
