Guzzlord

Guzzlord

We now come to the final Ultra Beast of Sun and Moon (though not the final one of generation VII as a whole), Guzzlord, a.k.a. UB05 Glutton, a.k.a. the Junkivore Pokémon.  Guzzlord consumes all, drawing everything into itself and growing ever larger, and in just the same way it has engorged this entry to a truly unreasonable size – so without any further preamble, I’m just going to jump into it.

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Jim the Editor asks:

I thought you were going to talk about something similar to what you said in the celesteela article…

…oh yeah

right, we were going to use that space question as an excuse to go off on that tangent about Ultra Space that I didn’t do in the Celesteela thing

bollocks

See, this is why I keep him around.

Right, let’s talk about that now. So the thing about Ultra Space that I think is a bit weird is that it’s… not altogether clear what it actually is.

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[Don’t worry, you’re the ONLY Chris the Pokemaniac] asks:

I saw your recent post…and with that being said:. Seeing how regular and….. irregular Pokemon can be found in other universes…could it be that Pokemon could be descendents of ultra beasts? Or is this something Chris the pokemaniac doesn’t want to get into?

So, I’ve had this suggested to me before, and it doesn’t strike me as wildly unlikely, but I’m also not sure I can think of any good reason to actually believe it.

I think Pokémon as a franchise likes to keep some things intentionally mysterious, and the origin of life on its version of Earth is one of them.  However, it’s at least somewhat amenable to something like the panspermia hypothesis – the idea that very simple life, or its chemical precursors, might be commonplace in the universe and could have spread to Earth from extraterrestrial sources rather than developing here spontaneously.  I doubt Pokémon are descended from Ultra Beasts as we know them, but from some microorganism that emerged from Ultra Space a billion years ago?  Sure.  Or, from some microorganism that arrived on an asteroid a billion years ago?  Sure.  Or, and I think this is what people actually mean when they make this suggestion, from some ancestral Ultra Beast that wandered through to Alola in ancient times?  That one seems to me less likely but yeah, whatever. Continue reading “[Don’t worry, you’re the ONLY Chris the Pokemaniac] asks:”

Chris the Pokemaniac asks:

I think you’d like this one

Wait, wait, you- no, no, hang on, no, I’m Chris the Pokémaniac, that’s me! You’re not me!

…unless you’re… me from the future…? In which case you’re enacting the Sarpedon Contingency and you’re here to kill me… or you’ve promised your own soul to an eldritch entity from beyond the Seventh Veil and you’re here to kill me… or you’re from an alternate timeline that doesn’t have my recipe for sour cherry cheesecake and you’re here to kill me.

Well, whichever one it is, I guess I’d better answer the question.

“Hi, this a continuation of my theory Pokemon Cults, Infinite Energy and how it shaped the Pokemon World.

Ohhhhh boy, this again.

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